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The Female Perspective: A Feminist Who Sticks Up For Men, Eee Gads!

Welcome! This is a Tri-weekly blog by Author J.L. Metcalf where I discuss anything and everything that strikes my fancy. If you have ideas on what you think I should write about, please send me an email via my website

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I came across an interesting article yesterday titled, “Meet The Feminist Who Is Sticking Up For Men“. Intrigued, I read the article with an open mind, especially since I am a feminist who sticks up for men! The article annoyed me to some degree, not with the idea that a woman could stick up for men, but because of the idea that it’s so preposterous an idea that a woman would stick up for men that we have to have an article about it.

EQUALITY.
EQUALITY.

Yes, there have been lots of feminists that hate on men (still are) and as the article points out, some feminists have gone so far as to say such things as:

American writer Andrea Dworkin once said she wanted ‘to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig’, while author Sally Miller Gearhart suggested (in all seriousness) that ‘the proportion of men be reduced to, and maintained at, 10 per cent of the human race’.

Even Jilly Cooper, queen of the bonkbuster, famously asserted that ‘the male is a domestic animal which, if treated with fairness, can be trained to do most things.’

These types of comments sadden me, in my mind I don’t believe that feminism is about hating on men or trying to get rid of them. To me, feminism is about finding equality for the sexes, it’s about finding balance. To so many others it’s about man-bashing or hatred and that breaks my heart. I suppose the same could be held true for other movements, there are always going to be those who side with anger and hatred over calm reasonable discourse. I simply wish there was a way to make the world understand that feminism isn’t about man hating. Not at its core anyway.

The subject of the article is an academic named Christina Hoff Sommers, she has written some books that have raised eyebrows in the feminist community. She currently makes video’s called “The Factual Feminist”, where Hoff Sommers attempts to break down the stereotypes surrounding feminism and the “facts” about various studies that try to tout women as being superior to men. I watched a few of them and honestly found them interesting. Hoff Sommers isn’t trying to woman-bash any more than she is making a plea for moderation. In her book, “Who Stole Feminism?” she made the same plea and found that it landed on somewhat def ears.

“When Who Stole Feminism? first appeared in 1994 I received fan letters from some well-known feminists, but – for the most part – the establishment was unhappy with my plea for moderation. I found myself excommunicated from the church of feminism.

“Some called me a backlasher, a traitor to my gender, anti-woman. One angry critic referred to Margaret Thatcher and me as ‘those two female impersonators’.

Sadly, not much has changed since the 1990’s. If a woman dares to stand up for me, she is met with scorn and judgement from the feminist community. It’s unfair and it’s uneducated. Men aren’t bad, some of them are really awesome and they create balance in our lives. So many feminists in the past have pondered the question, how would the world be without men? They often answer that women would be fat and happy or there would be less crime. The latter is most likely true, since men are guilty of most violent crime, but the question remains…would we be happy without men? I don’t think so, I think that most of us enjoy our interactions with men, we love men and we want them around to talk to, cuddle with and gain inspiration from.

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The fact is, feminism needs a face lift, we need to push forward the idea that women love men and that feminism isn’t about man-hating. It’s about finding balance between the sexes, making everything fair and honest. It is not about putting men down or trying to make them feel “less than”, I want men to feel as powerful as women do. I want us to live in harmony.

Is it a naive dream perhaps? It makes no difference to me, I have hope that one day we’ll find that balance.

Equality-feminism

What do you think? Do you agree that men need to go or do you think we need to strike a balance? Sound off in the comments!

2 thoughts on “The Female Perspective: A Feminist Who Sticks Up For Men, Eee Gads!

  1. Equality between genders is the only way to go.
    My belief may seem biased to others because, even though I’m a feminist, I’m also male.
    I was raised during the 1970’s when the feminist movement and “women’s lib” was in full swing.It’s message was blasted to the masses all over radio and tv. It was a just and right doctrine that I absorbed like a sponge.

    I find it appalling that feminism’s root message of equality has been distorted by the younger generations on both sides of the issue. When I recently encountered the phenomenon known as “meninism” I was surprised at the attitude of the men who purported it. It made me angry. Why would they, as males, lash out at a group of people who only want rights equal to them? Are they too young or naive to not know the history of oppression that has been committed by men against women? I don’t condone them, but I think I see now what drives their misguided actions. For most part I think that it’s not a backlash against Feminism proper, but a faction of feminism that, as pointed out in your article, strives for superiority over equality. This is not the true feminism that I know. It’s not my mother’s feminism. In fact, I don’t think I’d call it feminism at all.

  2. Kevin, you stated all of this beautifully and I truly appreciate a man commenting on this issue. I agree with you, I don’t consider the man-bashing to be true feminism when, if you look up the definition of feminism, it’s about gaining equality and that message has been horribly distorted as of late. It saddens me but it also pushes me onward trying to spread the word that Feminism is NOT a bad thing, you just have to find the people who believe in it’s core message, not the distorted one being put out other places. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment.

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