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Trailer Snark (June 17, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week:  The Conjuring 2 was a hit at the box office with $40.3M last weekend, and topping the list.  In an unusual (of late) turn, the next two entries were also debuts with Warcraft pulling in $24.3M and Now You See Me 2 taking in $23M.  Fourth place was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:  Out of the Shadows ($14.8M/$61M), and fifth place belonged to X-Men: Apocalypse ($10M/$136.3M).  The rest of the top ten were as follows:  Me Before You ($9.2/$36.8M), Angry Birds ($6.8M/$98.1M), Alice Through the Looking Glass ($5.5/$62.4M), Captain America:  Civil War ($4.3M/$396.8M), and The Jungle Book ($2.7M/$352.6M).  Let’s look ahead to this weekend!

Finding Dory (Disney/Pixar) – Family
Rated PG for mild thematic elements
Tag Line: Have you seen her?
Starring: Ellen Degeneres, Ed O’Neil, Albert Brooks
Plot: The friendly-but-forgetful blue tang fish reunites with her loved ones, and everyone learns a few things about the real meaning of family along the way.
Running Time: 97 minutes

Jessica: I liked Nemo okay, I don’t really care about Dory. I am sure people will enjoy it though.
Chris:  Mine?  Mine? Mine?  Yes, all mine and it’s about time.
Jim: Nemo is a classic. It’s Pixar. Most likely another classic.
Ken: The lovable Dory stole the show in the original Finding Nemo. Expect more Pixar cuteness and hilarity from the sequel.

Central Intelligence (Warner Bros) – Comedy
Rated PG-13 for crude and suggestive humor, some nudity, action violence and brief strong language
Tag Line: Saving the world takes a little Hart and a big Johnson.
Starring:  Kevin Hart, Dwayne Johnson
Plot: After he reunites with an old school pal through Facebook, a mild-mannered accountant is lured into the world of international espionage.
Running Time: 114 minutes

Ken: Feels like a pretty cookie cutter buddy cop movie. Love the Rock and Hart though, so I might rent this one later.
Jim: Looks like an enjoyably dumb time-waster.
Chris: I laughed a lot in the trailer.  Kevin Hart is a favorite of mine.  And who doesn’t love the Rock?
Jessica: NO THANK YOU. Looks really, really, REALLY dumb.

Swiss Army Man (A24) – Adventure/Comedy/Drama
Rated R for language and sexual material
Tag Line: We all need some body to lean on.
Starring: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Daniel Radcliffe
Plot: A hopeless man stranded in the wilderness befriends a dead body and together they go on a surreal journey to get home.
Running Time: 95 minutes

Jessica: I don’t know … I just … Ugh … This movie makes me feel icky.
Ken: Daniel Radcliff makes Wilson look like a piece of crap. So bizarre that I might have to check this one out.
Jim: Huh?

Chris: *Yawn*

Clown (Dimension) – Horror/Fantasy
Rated R for horror violence and gore, and for language
Tag Line: The kids aren’t alright.
Starring: Andy Powers, Laura Allen
Plot: A loving father finds a clown suit for his son’s birthday party, only to realize that it is not a suit at all.
Running Time: 100 minutes

Chris:  Couldn’t find a distributor for two years?  It does not paint the whole picture, but I am not encouraged.
Jessica: NO WAY EVER. I hate frackin’ clowns. Now and forever until the end of time.
Ken: Aqua Team Hunger Force already did this in the classic episode, “The Clowning”.
Jim: This could be a good scary movie underneath the terrible trailer.

Tickets Purchased:  Two for Finding Dory (Chris and Jim) and Jessica stays home with Orange is the New Black

She may be simple, but we share the same passions.
She may be simple, but we share the same passions.
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