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Trailer Snark (November 11, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk (Sony) – Drama
Rated R for language throughout, some war violence, sexual content, and brief drug use
Tag Line: None
Starring: Joe Alwyn, Kristen Stewart, Vin Diesel, Steve Martin
Plot: 19-year-old Billy Lynn is brought home for a victory tour after a harrowing Iraq battle. Through flashbacks the film shows what really happened to his squad – contrasting the realities of war with America’s perceptions.
Running Time:  110 minutes

Jessica: I usually enjoy a well done war movie, but I’m not sure about this one. The trailer really doesn’t tell me much about why it’s called “The Long Halftime Walk”, but then again, I can’t take Vin Diesel as a serious actor so that might be why i feel so lukewarm to this one!
Jim: This week’s trailers don’t bode well for the Holiday Movie season. The solemn chorus is telling me that I should feel moved, but have to admit it left me cold. Still, the fact that it’s an Ang Lee movie gives me hope.
Chris:  It’s a double dose of heck no with both Vin Diesel and Kristen Stewart in starring roles.  That is enough to kill my interest.

Almost Christmas (Universal) – Comedy/Drama
Rated PG-13 for suggestive material, drug content and language
Tag Line: Five days together?  Oh joy!
Starring: Kimberly Elise, Omar Epps, Danny Glover
Plot: A dysfunctional family gathers together for their first Christmas since their mom died.
Running Time: 112 minutes

Chris: This one seems full of yuletide jeer……pass.
Jessica: Blah. I’d rather see Bad Santa 2!
Jim: Looks more like Festivus. Nah.

Arrival (Paramount) – Drama/Mystery/Sci-Fi
Rated PG-13 for brief strong language
Tag Line:  Why are they here?
Starring:  Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner, Forest Whitaker
Plot: A linguist is recruited by the military to assist in translating alien communications.
Running Time: 116 minutes

Jim: Yet another Close Encounters/Independence Day knockoff.
Chris: Effective trailer that amps up the drama.  Plus the wife loves Amy Adams (her favorite actress, thanks to Enchanted). 
Jessica: I’ve seen this trailer a lot recently and I just don’t care what’s going on. Something about it just annoys the holy heck out of me.

Shut In (EuropaCorp USA) – Drama/Thriller
Rated PG-13 for terror and some violence/bloody images, nudity, thematic elements and brief strong language
Tag Line: Don’t believe everything you see.
Starring:  Naomi Watts, Oliver Platt, Charlie Heaton
Plot: A heart-pounding thriller about a widowed child psychologist who lives in an isolated existence in rural New England. Caught in a deadly winter storm, she must find a way to rescue a young boy before he disappears forever.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Jessica: Ditto for this one. Look like well trod ground and unless someone can tell me it’s not, I’ll pass.
Jim: (cue Homer Simpson voice) Booooring!
Chris: The trailer left me cold, but without that spine-tingling shiver.  Naomi Watts is always fantastic, but this one is probably better left as a home viewer.

The Love Witch (Oscilliscope) – Comedy/Horror
Not Rated
Tag Line: She loved men….to death.
Starring: Samantha Robinson, Laura Waddell
Plot: A modern-day witch uses spells and magic to get men to fall in love with her, in a tribute to 1960s pulp novels and Technicolor melodramas.
Running Time: 120 minutes

Chris:  Not with Jim’s eyes, and Jess’ wallet.
Jessica:  this was the most horrible, long-winded, horrible trailer I’ve ever seen. I get what they were trying for but they told the ENTIRE STORY in this trailer and it just looks awful. Pass.
Jim: Yeah, this was…UNBELIEVABLY bad. Almost like a fake SNL trailer, except not funny.

Tickets Purchased: One for Arrival (Chris) while both Jim and Jessica stay home to watch old Jack Sparrow movies and eat chocolate.

Can I come crash your house?
Can I come crash your house?

 

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