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Trailer Snark (March 10, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Kong: Skull Island (Warner Bros) – Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and for brief strong language.
Tag Line: Awaken the King.
Starring: Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L Jackson
Plot: A team of scientists, soldiers and adventurers unites to explore an uncharted island in the Pacific. Cut off from everything they know, the team ventures into the domain of the mighty Kong. As their mission becomes one of survival, they must fight to escape a primal Eden.
Running Time: 120 minutes

Jessica: It’s ALL about King Kong for me this week so I can’t even deal with any of these other silly films. 😉
Jim: JL, I wholeheartedly share your enthusiasm. The original ’33 King, to me, is still the greatest adventure film of all time (I even like Son of Kong and the original Mighty Joe Young) and Peter Jackson’s remake was pretty awesome.  The original just gets better every time I see it.  Seeing this one on Wednesday, can’t wait! Great cast, good trailer (although shows a bit too much). The other movies just don’t have a chance.
Chris: I’d love to play Devil’s Advocate here, but the moment I saw this trailer I knew I needed to make it a priority to witness it in all of it’s Big Screen glory!

Raw (Focus World) – Drama/Horror
Rated R for aberrant behavior, bloody and grisly images, strong sexuality, nudity, language and drug use/partying
Tag Line: What are you hungry for?
Starring: Garance Marrilier, Ella Rumpf
Plot: When a young vegetarian undergoes a carnivorous hazing ritual at vet school, an unbidden taste for meat begins to grow in her.
Running Time: 99 minutes

Chris:  Hold the bath salts, thank you.  <Puke>
Jessica: No giant apes?  No Loki?  Pass.
Jim: This looks scarier than Kong.

The Ottoman Lieutenant (Paladin) – Drama/War
Rated R for some war violence
Tag Line: In a land on the brink of war the most dangerous place to be is in love.
Starring: Michiel Huisman, Ben Kingsley, Josh Hartnett
Plot: The Ottoman Lieutenant is a love story between an idealistic American nurse and a Turkish officer in World War I.
Running Time: 106 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ9TZlyQSJM
Jim: ZZZZZZ
Chris: Certainly looks better than the Ben Kingsley film we looked at here two weeks ago, but not good enough to drag me to the theater.
Jessica: Nope, not KK.

Personal Shopper (IFC Films) – Mystery/Drama/Thriller
Rated R for some language, sexuality, nudity and a bloody violent image
Tag Line: None
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Lars Edlinger
Plot: Revolves around a ghost story that takes place in the fashion underworld of Paris.
Running Time: 105 minutes

Jessica: Unless they’re buying GIANT shoes for Kingy Kongy, I’ll pass!
Jim: I liked Clouds of Sils Maria, looks interesting (I’m waiting for Kristen Stewart jokes from SOMEbody).
Chris: I suggest a cross-over film where King Kong visit Paris and eats Kristen Stewart, downing her with a glass of wine, while the Ottoman Empire rises and invades Western Europe. I think that covers a combination of all this week’s previous trailers and delivers Jim from disappointment.

The Sense of an Ending (CBS Films) – Drama
Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, a violent image, sexuality and brief strong language
Tag Line: Unravel the truth.
Starring: Jim Broadbent, Charlotte Rampling, Harriet Walter
Plot: A man becomes haunted by his past and is presented with a mysterious legacy that causes him to re-think his current situation in life.
Running Time: 108 minutes

Chris: This one actually caught me by surprise.  Refreshingly understated reflective mystery.
Jessica: I sense an ending with a GIANT APE.
Jim: Maybe worth a rental ’cause of the premise.

The Other Half (Brainstorm Media) – Dram/Romance
Not Rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: Tatiana Maslany, Tom Cullen
Plot: A bipolar woman and a grief-stricken man struggle to forge a simple life.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Jim: ZZZZZZ part two.
Chris:  Two minutes…..all it took to put me to sleep.  Probably the darkest (literally) trailer I have ever seen.
Jessica: If the other half of the other half isn’t Kong, I’ll pass.

The Dark Below (Parade Deck Films) – Thriller
Not Rated
Tag Line: Silence is the most powerful scream.
Starring: Lauren Mae Shafer, Veronica Cartwright
Plot: A woman struggles for survival beneath a frozen lake while a serial killer stalks her from the surface.

Jessica: I came up with lots of jokes that are not printable so I’ll just say, not Kong, not for me!
Jim: Looks pretty intense, whatever it is. Veronica Cartwright, wow!
Chris: Love the concept. Cat and very wet mouse.

Tickets Purchased:  Three for Kong!

 

What are Samuel Jackson's Vegas odds on survival in this film?
What are Samuel Jackson’s Vegas odds on survival in this film?
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