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Trailer Snark (October 21, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (Paramount) – Action/Adventure
Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence and action, some bloody images, language and thematic elements
Tag Line: Never give in, Never give up, Never go back
Starring: Tom Cruise, Cobie Smulders
Plot: Jack Reacher must uncover the truth behind a major government conspiracy in order to clear his name. On the run as a fugitive from the law, Reacher uncovers a potential secret from his past that could change his life forever.
Running Time: 118 minutes

Jessica: I saw the first one they did and really enjoyed it. I’ve also read a bunch of the Jack Reacher books, including this one, and love the stories. I think even though Cruise looks NOTHING like how Jack Reacher is described in the books, he did a fantastic job and I’m excited for this one.
Chris:  Feeling some Rick Astley love in that tag line.  This movie never gonna give you up.  Never gonna let you down.  Never gonna run around and hurt you.  Yeah!

Ouija: Origin of Evil (Universal) – Horror/Thriller
Rated PG-13 for disturbing images, terror and thematic elements
Tag Line: No telling what you’ll see.
Starring: Elizabeth Reaser, Lulu Wilson
Plot: In 1965 Los Angeles, a widowed mother and her two daughters add a new stunt to bolster their seance scam business and unwittingly invite authentic evil into their home. When the youngest daughter is overtaken by a merciless spirit, the family confronts unthinkable fears to save her and send her possessor back to the other side.
Running Time: 99 minutes

Chris: While I like the throwback sixties vibe, this looks like your standard run of the mill horror outing.  Better saved for a Netflix stream.
Jessica: Pass. When the trailer makes it seem cheesy and lame, that usually means the movie is going to be cheesy and lame. Plus, haven’t there been like twelve BILLION Ouija board movies already? Enough already! Next thing you know there will be a zombie vampire movie about using Ouija boards that turn into magical turnips or something.

Keeping Up with the Joneses (Fox) – Comedy
Rated PG-13 for sexual content, action/violence and brief strong language
Tag Line: Meet the Joneses.
Starring: Zach Galafianakis, Isla Fisher, Gal Gadot
Plot: A suburban couple becomes embroiled in an international espionage plot when they discover that their seemingly perfect new neighbors are government spies.
Running Time: 105 minutes

Jessica: When I saw Gal Gadot and Hamm and Zack and Isla I was partially sold. When he yelled into his tie microphone I laughed out loud. This looks like a fun, stupidly funny action comedy. love it.
Chris: I am with Jess on this one.  Laughter is good medicine in times such as these.  Bring on the silliness!

Boo! A Madea Halloween (Lionsgate) – Comedy/Horror
Rated PG-13 for drug use and references, suggestive content, language, some horror images and thematic material
Tag Line: Witch, please.
Starring: Tyler Perry, Cassi Davis
Plot: Madea winds up in the middle of mayhem when she spends a haunted Halloween fending off killers, paranormal poltergeists, ghosts, ghouls and zombies while keeping a watchful eye on a group of misbehaving teens.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Chris: While I was mildly amused by the trailer, I am not sure if this will be the film to break my streak of not watching Tyler Perry movies.
Jessica: You can’t PAY me to even WATCH this BS trailer. P A S S.

American Pastoral (Lionsgate) – Crime/Drama
Rated R for some strong sexual material, language and brief violent images
Tag Line: A radically ordinary story.
Starring: Ewan MacGregor, Jennifer Connelly
Plot: In 1968, a hardworking man, who’s been a staple in his quaint community for years, watches his seemingly perfect middle class life fall apart as his daughter’s new radical political affiliation threatens to destroy their family.
Running Time: 126 minutes

Jessica: I have no idea what this is about but I am intrigued.
Chris:  Probably the shortest Trailer Snark trailer we have had.  That said, directorial debut of Ewan MacGregor.  It will be worth seeing if he is every bit the director as he is the actor.  Count me in!

31 (Saban Films) – Horror/Thriller
Rated R for strong bloody horror violence, pervasive language, sexual content and drug use
Tag Line: Welcome to Hell
Starring: Malcolm McDowell, Meg Foster, Richard Brake
Plot: Five carnival workers are kidnapped and held hostage in an abandoned, Hell-like compound where they are forced to participate in a violent game, the goal of which is to survive twelve hours against a gang of sadistic clowns.
Running Time: 102 minutes

Chris:  I was not a fan of Zombie’s last film, Lords of Salem.  I wonder if he can rebound with this one?  The subject matter is certainly timely with America’s clown problem.
Jessica: I’ll watch anything Zombie makes so I’m in on this one!

I’m Not Ashamed (Pure-flix) – Biography/Drama
Rated PG-13 for thematic material, teen drinking and smoking, disturbing violent content and some suggestive situations
Tag Line: Her faith would touch the world.
Starring: Masey McLain, Ben Davies
Plot: Based on the inspiring and powerful true story and journal entries of Rachel Joy Scott- the first student killed in the Columbine high school shooting in 1999.
Running Time: 112 minutes

Jessica: I honestly don’t know that I am ready for any film dealing with school shootings, especially in the current climate we’re in, but I give them credit for focusing on one of the slain, rather than the killers.
Chris: Tears welled up with this trailer.  I will definitely be seeing this one.

Moonlight (A24) – Drama
Rated R for some sexuality, drug use, brief violence, and language throughout
Tag Line:  This is the story of a lifetime.
Starring: Mahershala Ali, Shariff Earp
Plot: A timeless story of human connection and self-discovery, Moonlight chronicles the life of a young black man from childhood to adulthood as he struggles to find his place in the world while growing up in a rough neighborhood of Miami.
Running Time: 110 minutes
Chris:  Personal journey movie fraught with tragedy.  Will be a good small screen viewer, I think.
Jessica: Another one where the trailer tells us very little, but the little it tells me is that it’s dealing with a man trying to find himself in a culture that does not fully accept who he is. Looks powerful.

Tickets Purchased: Two for Keeping Up with the Joneses

You'd never know that beneath the smiles lay a desperate pit of envy and distrust...but all for our utter amusement.
You’d never know that beneath the smiles lay a desperate pit of envy and distrust…but all for our utter amusement.
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Trailer Snark (September 2, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Horror entry Don’t Breathe scared up $26.1M in its debut to take hold of the tops at the box office last weekend.  The only other movie to break double digits was Suicide Squad at number two ($12.1M/$282.8M).  Kubo and the Two Strings was third ($7.9M/$24.9M), Sausage Party in fourth ($7.6M/$80M), and Mechanic Resurrection debuted at number five with $7.5M.  The rest of the list went as follows:  Pete’s Dragon ($7.2M/$54.7M), War Dogs ($7.2M/$27.7), Bad Moms ($5.7M/$95.4M), Jason Bourne ($5.2M/$149.3M), and Ben-Hur ($4.5M/$19.5M).  Let’s check out this week’s new releases!

The Light Between Oceans (Walt Disney) – Drama
Rated PG-13 for thematic material and some sexual content
Tag Line: Love demands everything.
Starring:  Michael Fassbender, Alicia Vikander, Rachel Weisz
Plot: A lighthouse keeper and his wife living off the coast of Western Australia raise a baby they rescue from an adrift rowboat.
Running Time: 132 minutes

Chris: That was quite a moving trailer.  Heartbreaking subject matter…prepare thyself.
Jessica: Looks compelling, but all the trailer did was make me want to read the book and not watch the movie till I’d done so.
Ken: Wow, heavy subject matter.  Looks heart wrenching, Maybe for home.

Morgan (Twentieth Century Fox) – Horror/Thriller
Rated R for brutal violence, and some language
Tag Line: Don’t Let It Out
Starring:  Kate Mara, Paul Giamatti, Rose Leslie
Plot: A corporate risk-management consultant must decide whether or not to terminate an artificially created humanoid being.
Running Time: 92 minutes

Ken: I’d rather revisits Stranger Things for the fourth time.
Chris: Decent enough looking thriller….just not good enough to get me to the theater, especially with Netflix’ Stranger Things still so fresh in my mind.
Jessica: Eh. Could be really good, but Eleven rocks way more than this Morgan person. Can’t trust a kid with powers that doesn’t like waffles.

31 (Saban Films) – Horror
Rated R for strong bloody horror violence, pervasive language, sexual content and drug use
Tag Line: A Rob Zombie Film.
Starring: Elizabeth Daily, Malcolm McDowell, Meg Foster
Plot: Five carnival workers are kidnapped and held hostage in an abandoned, Hell-like compound where they are forced to participate in a violent game, the goal of which is to survive twelve hours against a gang of sadistic clowns.
Running Time: 102 minutes

Jessica: I love Rob Zombie. Even Lords of Salem (to me) wasn’t all bad. Though I very much dislike Halloween II. All his other films are fantastic. This has that same potential. I’d totally see it, especially leading into my favorite season, Halloween!
Ken: So that’s where the Joker shops for henchmen. Rob Zombie flick so you know it’s going to disturbing to the max.
Chris: Zombie’s last film Lords of Salem was a catastrophe.  I am going to be approaching this one with all caution.

The 9th Life of Louis Drax (Summit Premiere) – Mystery/Thriller
Rated R for some disturbing images and brief strong language
Tag Line: A mystery beyond reality.
Starring: Jamie Dornan, Sarah Gadon
Plot: A psychologist who begins working with a young boy who has suffered a near-fatal fall finds himself drawn into a mystery that tests the boundaries of fantasy and reality.
Running Time: 108 minutes

Chris: OK, now this is a mystery/thriller that might get me off the couch!  Aja is a capable director too.
Jessica: Looks alright, I’d watch this at home though. Definitely not a theater film.
Ken: That was essentially the first three episodes of Game of Thrones.

Yoga Hosers (Invincible Pictures) – Comedy/Horror
Rated PG-13 for crude humor, sexual references, comic violence, and brief drug material
Tag Line: Do your ‘wurst…
Starring: Harley Quinn Smith, Lily-Rose Depp, Johnny Depp, Justin long
Plot: Two teenage yoga enthusiasts team up with a legendary man-hunter to battle with an ancient evil presence that is threatening their major party plans.
Running Time: 88 minutes

Ken: I have a weakness for Kevin Smith movies but this looks like a pretty lame vehicle to launch his and Depp’s daughters’ movie careers.
Chris: Kevin Smith’s move towards off-beat horror has yielded mixed results.  Red State was terrible, but Tusk was surprisingly twisted good.  This one features characters from the latter, but the trailer looked pretty low rent.
Jessica: I didn’t even make it through the trailer. I really think Kevin Smith has lost it. After that damn Walrus movie I just can’t see what he’s thinking anymore. BIG pass on this one.

White Girl (FilmRise) – Drama
Not rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: Morgan Saylor, Justin Bartha
Plot: Summer, New York City. A college girl falls hard for a guy she just met. After a night of partying goes wrong, she goes to wild extremes to get him back.
Running Time: 88 minutes

Jessica: It’s big shoes to fill to say it’s as good as “Kids”, not sure it can live up to that, but I’d give this a watch at home.
Chris: Druggie girl debauchery.  Pass.
Ken: Druggie girl debauchery. Pass… the popcorn.

Max Rose (Paladin) – Drama/Comedy
Not Rated
Tag Line: The legend is back.
Starring: Jerry Lewis, Kerry Bishe, Kevin Pollak
Plot: A jazz pianist makes a discovery days before the death of his wife that causes him to believe his sixty-five year marriage was a lie. He embarks on an exploration of his own past that brings him face to face with a menagerie of characters from a bygone era.
Running Time: 83 minutes

Ken: I think it’s a universal truth that the older you get the more you appreciate the wisdom of the elderly.
Jessica: I wouldn’t see a movie just because “The legend Jerry Lewis” is in it, but I would see this because the story looks to be quite touching and well done. I’m a sucker for long-term loves and learning lessons and all that.
Chris: Have to say that after all this time, seeing Jerry Lewis make it back to the big screen has a certain appeal.  Charming trailer for the Rat Pack member.

Tickets Purchased: Two for 31 (Jessica and Ken) and One for The 9th Life of Louis Drax (Chris)

Remember the fun times we had at the carnival before Rob Zombie and his goons tortured us?
Remember the fun times we had at the carnival before Rob Zombie and his goons tortured us?