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Trailer Snark (July 22, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: The Secret Life of Pets remained at the top of the box office for a second straight week with $50.5M to add to its $203M domestic total.  That makes it five straight wins for animated movies (Finding Dory was the champ for three weeks before the current champ’s run).  Ghostbusters debuted in second with $46M.  The Legend of Tarzan was third with $11.3M to add to its $103M total.  The aforementioned Finding Dory was fourth with $11M and an astounding $445.5M overall, while fifth place belonged to Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates ($7.5M/$31.3M).  The rest of the top ten went as follows: The Purge: Election Year ($6/$71M), Central Intelligence ($5.3M/$117.5M), The Infiltrator ($5.2M/$6.7M), The BFG ($3.7M/$45.3M), and Independence Day: Resurgence ($3.4M/$98.5M).  Let’s take a look at this weekend’s new releases….

Star Trek: Beyond (Paramount) – Sci-Fi/Adventure
Rated PG-13 for sequences of sci-fi action and violence
Tag Line: None
Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban
Plot: The USS Enterprise crew explores the furthest reaches of uncharted space, where they encounter a new ruthless enemy who puts them and everything the Federation stands for to the test.
Running Time: 120 minutes

Chris: Abrams made me a fan of the franchise.  I know he is not involved in this outing, but momentum is a strong attractant, and I am looking forward to seeing where they are bringing this story.
Jessica: I really have enjoyed these “new” Star Trek movies but not having JJ Abrams on board this one makes me very leery of it. The trailer also does nothing for me. I’ll watch this, but at home. I don’t believe I’ll make the trip to the theater.
Ken: I’ve really enjoyed Abram’s reboot of the classic Trek, and I probably have it in me to see one more. I’d really like it if they did a movie reboot based on the Next Generation crew.

Ice Age: Collision Course (20th Century Fox) – Family/Animation
Rated PG for mild rude humor and some action/peril
Tag Line: One small step.  One giant mess.
Starring: Ray Romano, Denis Leary, John Leguizamo
Plot: Manny, Diego, and Sid join up with Buck to fend off a meteor strike that would destroy the world.
Running Time: 94 minutes

Ken: Never got into this franchise, won’t be starting now. I’d rather watch 2 hours of the squirrel trying to get the acorn.
Chris: Amusing for a small screen outing.  The acorn may be the best inanimate supporting actor in a movie ever.
Jessica: Nope. Haven’t seen any of these and never will.

Lights Out (Warner Bros) – Horror
Rated PG-13 for terror throughout, violence including disturbing images, some thematic material and brief drug content
Tag Line: You were right to be afraid of the dark.
Starring: Teresa Palmer, Gabriel Bateman, Maria Bello
Plot: When her little brother, Martin, experiences the same events that once tested her sanity, Rebecca works to unlock the truth behind the terror, which brings her face to face with an entity that has an attachment to their mother, Sophie.
Running Time: 81 minutes

Jessica: Looks fun! I love an inventive horror flick!
Ken: Like I need another reason to be scared of the dark. That did look genuinely creepy and I’ll probably catch it at home. Where I can watch with all the lights on.
Chris: Creepy as heck!  YES!

Absolutely Fabulous (Fox Searchlight) – Comedy
Rated R for language including sexual references, and some drug use
Tag Line: It’s a huge great bloody movie, sweetie!
Starring: Jennifer Saunders, Joanna Lumley
Plot: After attracting both media and police attention for accidentally knocking Kate Moss into the River Thames, Edina and Patsy hide out in the south of France.
Running Time: 90 minutes

Chris: RUN AWAY!
Jessica: Oh gosh, this show always cracked me up, though I wasn’t a die-hard fan when it was on. I’d watch this at home. These ladies still look fabulous and funny.
Ken: Absolutely not.

Don’t Think Twice (The Film Arcade) – Comedy/Drama
Rated R for language and some drug use
Tag Line:  The spotlight’s not on everyone.
Starring: Keegan Michael-Key, Gillian Jacobs
Plot: When a member of a popular New York City improv troupe gets a huge break, the rest of the group – all best friends – start to realize that not everyone is going to make it after all.
Running Time: 92 minutes

Ken: Looks hugely charming but only a little funny. Renter, maybe.
Chris: Appealing little story of struggling artists trying to get their break.  Another small screen viewer.
Jessica: A lot of heart in this one, it’s not a theater viewer, but I would rent it or redox it or Amazon it, whatever the zillion options are today for home viewing.

Hillary’s America:  The Secret History of the Democratic Party – Documentary
Rated PG-13 for some violence, thematic elements and smoking
Tag Line: None
Starring: Dinesh D’Souza, Jonah Goldberg
Plot: Documentarian Dinesh D’Souza analyzes the history of the Democratic Party and what he thinks are Hillary Clinton’s true motivations.
Running Time: 100 minutes

Jessica: Why is the “secret” history of the Democratic party dubbed “Hilary’s America”? I get what he’s trying to accomplish, but I shy away from such biased films. I much prefer something balanced that talks about both sides since both sides are deeply, deeply fractured.
Ken: This year’s Presidential election can be summed up thusly, “would you like your turd sandwich cold or toasted?” I have no love for Hillary, but this made me want to puke.
Chris: A bit too theatrical for my taste.  Just give me the facts, Dragnet-style.

Tickets Purchased:  Two for Star Trek Beyond (Ken and Chris) and Jessica stays home to enjoy the Director’s Cut of Superman v Batman.

...because we just had to
…because we just had to