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Trailer Snark (November 18, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Warner Bros) – Adventure/Family
Rated PG-13 for some fantasy action violence
Tag Line: Explore a new era of J.K. Rowling’s wizarding world.
Starring: Eddie Redmayne, Katherine Waterston
Plot: The adventures of writer Newt Scamander in New York’s secret community of witches and wizards seventy years before Harry Potter reads his book in school.
Running Time: 133 minutes

Jessica: I’m a Harry Potter nerd so I do want to see this, even if it wasn’t technically a “real” HP book. Looks like a good amount of jolly HP fun!
Chris:  I can guarantee you I will be seeing this one since my wife is a massive Rowling fan.  My enthusiasm is measured, however.

The Edge of Seventeen (STX Entertainment) – Comedy/Drama
Rated R for sexual content, language and some drinking – all involving teens
Tag Line: You’re only young once… is it over yet?
Starring:  Hailee Steinfeld, Blake Jenner
Plot: High-school life gets even more unbearable for Nadine when her best friend, Krista, starts dating her older brother.
Running Time: 104 minutes

Chris: If I were a teen girl, I’d be all over this.
Jessica: Looks cute. I’d probably watch this at home. I do love a quirky coming of age film.

Bleed for This (Open Road) – Biography/Sports/Drama
Rated R for language, sexuality/nudity and some accident images
Tag Line: This is what the greatest comeback in sports history looks like
Starring: Miles Teller, Aaron Eckhart
Plot: The inspirational story of World Champion Boxer Vinny Pazienza who, after a near fatal car crash, which left him not knowing if he’d ever walk again, made one of sports most incredible comebacks.
Running Time: 116 minutes
Jessica:  I have NO love for Vinny Paz. I’ll pass.
Chris:  I’m with Jessica on this one. 

Manchester by the Sea (Roadside Attractions) – Drama
Rated R for language throughout and some sexual content
Tag Line:  None
Starring:  Casey Affleck, Michelle Williams
Plot: An uncle is forced to take care of his teenage nephew after the boy’s father dies.
Running Time: 137 minutes
Chris: No way is this a theater viewer, but it may make for a good home view.  Melodramas are better left for the small screen.
Jessica: Oh boy, another Affleck doing ANOTHER MA accent. I’m sure this is a touching, heartfelt, blah, blah, blah, but I’m kind of over it.

Nocturnal Animals (Focus Features) – Drama/Thriller
Rated R for violence, menace, graphic nudity, and language
Tag Line: When you love someone you can’t just throw it away
Starring:  Amy Adams, Jake Gyllenhaal, Michael Shannon
Plot: An art gallery owner is haunted by her ex-husband’s novel, a violent thriller she interprets as a veiled threat and a symbolic revenge tale.
Running Time: 117 minutes

Jessica: Blah. A lot of tense whispering.
Chris: That one got my attention!  Great cast, and looks to be a taut thriller.

The Eyes of My Mother (Magnet) – Drama/Horror
Rated R for disturbing violent content and behavior, and brief nudity
Tag Line: None
Starring: Kika Magalhaes, Olivia Bond, Will Brill
Plot: A young, lonely woman is consumed by her deepest and darkest desires after tragedy strikes her quiet country life.
Running Time: 76 minutes

Chris:  At 76 minutes, there must not be much story to tell. What’s worse is that they didn’t have the confidence to schedule this one against other Halloween fare.
Jessica: Where are the comedies? This trailer annoyed the crap out of me.

Officer Downe (Magnolia) – Action
Rated R for brutal bloody stylized violence throughout, a strong prolonged sex scene with nudity, and pervasive language
Tag Line: Protecting. Serving. Ass Kicking.
Starring: Tyler Ross, Kim Coates
Plot: Based on the graphic novel, a police officer who can’t be stopped by death returns to the streets time and time again to fight crime.
Running Time: 88 minutes

Jessica: Oh here’s a comedy! Ummm…This looks just insane enough that I’d want to see it.
Chris: Looks a bit campy and silly, but might be some fun.

A Streetcat Named Bob (Cleopatra) – Biography/Comedy/Drama
Not Rated
Tag Line: Sometimes it takes nine lives to save one
Starring: Luke Treadaway, Bob the Cat
Plot: Based on the international best selling book. The true feel good story of how James Bowen, a busker and recovering drug addict, had his life transformed when he met a stray ginger cat.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Chris: I can’t believe I am saying this, but I actually really want to see this one!
Jessica: A movie about a man and a cat…Okay, sure. This is truly a weird group of trailers this week.

Life on the Line (Lionsgate) – Action/Drama
Rated R for some violence/grisly images and brief strong language
Tag Line: Courage. Risk. Sacrifice.
Starring: John Travolta, Kate Bosworth, Devon Sawa, Sharon Stone
Plot: A crew of men who do the high-wire work of fixing the electrical grid are hit by a sudden deadly storm.
Running Time: 97 minutes

Jessica: So this is the Twister for Linemen, Cool. That’s fine. I respect linemen, this movie? I don’t think I’ll be seeing it.
Chris: Could make for a good rainy night viewing….pun very much intended.

Tickets Purchased: One for Fantastic Beasts (Jessica) and One for Nocturnal Animals (Chris)

Rejected cast member of Fantastic Beasts
Rejected cast member of Fantastic Beasts
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Trailer Snark (November 11, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk (Sony) – Drama
Rated R for language throughout, some war violence, sexual content, and brief drug use
Tag Line: None
Starring: Joe Alwyn, Kristen Stewart, Vin Diesel, Steve Martin
Plot: 19-year-old Billy Lynn is brought home for a victory tour after a harrowing Iraq battle. Through flashbacks the film shows what really happened to his squad – contrasting the realities of war with America’s perceptions.
Running Time:  110 minutes

Jessica: I usually enjoy a well done war movie, but I’m not sure about this one. The trailer really doesn’t tell me much about why it’s called “The Long Halftime Walk”, but then again, I can’t take Vin Diesel as a serious actor so that might be why i feel so lukewarm to this one!
Jim: This week’s trailers don’t bode well for the Holiday Movie season. The solemn chorus is telling me that I should feel moved, but have to admit it left me cold. Still, the fact that it’s an Ang Lee movie gives me hope.
Chris:  It’s a double dose of heck no with both Vin Diesel and Kristen Stewart in starring roles.  That is enough to kill my interest.

Almost Christmas (Universal) – Comedy/Drama
Rated PG-13 for suggestive material, drug content and language
Tag Line: Five days together?  Oh joy!
Starring: Kimberly Elise, Omar Epps, Danny Glover
Plot: A dysfunctional family gathers together for their first Christmas since their mom died.
Running Time: 112 minutes

Chris: This one seems full of yuletide jeer……pass.
Jessica: Blah. I’d rather see Bad Santa 2!
Jim: Looks more like Festivus. Nah.

Arrival (Paramount) – Drama/Mystery/Sci-Fi
Rated PG-13 for brief strong language
Tag Line:  Why are they here?
Starring:  Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner, Forest Whitaker
Plot: A linguist is recruited by the military to assist in translating alien communications.
Running Time: 116 minutes

Jim: Yet another Close Encounters/Independence Day knockoff.
Chris: Effective trailer that amps up the drama.  Plus the wife loves Amy Adams (her favorite actress, thanks to Enchanted). 
Jessica: I’ve seen this trailer a lot recently and I just don’t care what’s going on. Something about it just annoys the holy heck out of me.

Shut In (EuropaCorp USA) – Drama/Thriller
Rated PG-13 for terror and some violence/bloody images, nudity, thematic elements and brief strong language
Tag Line: Don’t believe everything you see.
Starring:  Naomi Watts, Oliver Platt, Charlie Heaton
Plot: A heart-pounding thriller about a widowed child psychologist who lives in an isolated existence in rural New England. Caught in a deadly winter storm, she must find a way to rescue a young boy before he disappears forever.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Jessica: Ditto for this one. Look like well trod ground and unless someone can tell me it’s not, I’ll pass.
Jim: (cue Homer Simpson voice) Booooring!
Chris: The trailer left me cold, but without that spine-tingling shiver.  Naomi Watts is always fantastic, but this one is probably better left as a home viewer.

The Love Witch (Oscilliscope) – Comedy/Horror
Not Rated
Tag Line: She loved men….to death.
Starring: Samantha Robinson, Laura Waddell
Plot: A modern-day witch uses spells and magic to get men to fall in love with her, in a tribute to 1960s pulp novels and Technicolor melodramas.
Running Time: 120 minutes

Chris:  Not with Jim’s eyes, and Jess’ wallet.
Jessica:  this was the most horrible, long-winded, horrible trailer I’ve ever seen. I get what they were trying for but they told the ENTIRE STORY in this trailer and it just looks awful. Pass.
Jim: Yeah, this was…UNBELIEVABLY bad. Almost like a fake SNL trailer, except not funny.

Tickets Purchased: One for Arrival (Chris) while both Jim and Jessica stay home to watch old Jack Sparrow movies and eat chocolate.

Can I come crash your house?
Can I come crash your house?

 

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Trailer Snark (March 25th, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Zootopia topped the box office for the third straight week with $38M and putting its overall domestic haul to over $200M.  The latest Divergent series entry, Allegiant, came in second place with a $29M opening.  Miracles from Heaven debuted at number three with $18.5M.  10 Cloverfield Lane was in fourth ($12.5M/$45.1M).  In fifth was Deadpool still doing good biz ($8M/$340.9M).  The rest of the top ten was as follows:  London Has Fallen ($6.8M/$50M), Whiskey Tango Foxtrot ($2.8M/$19.2M), The Perfect Match ($1.9M/$7.3M), The Brothers Grimsby ($1.4M/$5.9M), and The Revanant ($1.2M/$181.1M).  It’s a short list of new releases this week as most studios made way for a certain superhero battle royal movie.  Let’s see what is on tap!

Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice (Warner Bros) – Action/Adventure
Rated PG – 13 for intense sequences of violence and action throughout, and some sensuality
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Gal Gadot, Amy Adams, Jesse Eisenberg
Plot: Fearing the actions of Superman are left unchecked, Batman takes on the man of steel, while the world wrestles with what kind of a hero it really needs. With Batman and Superman fighting each other, a new threat, Doomsday, is created by Lex Luthor. It’s up to Superman and Batman to set aside their differences along with Wonder Woman to stop Lex Luthor and Doomsday from destroying Metropolis.
Running Time: 151 minutes

Ken: I don’t care how bad the latest slew of reviews have been, I’m still pretty excited to see Dawn of Justice this weekend. Please be good…
Jessica: I remember a time were advance info and reviews weren’t as easily available and I miss those days. I don’t care what anyone else says, i want to see this bad boy and I have high hopes for it.
Jim: I’m reaching my saturation point with superhero movies, but have to admit this looks like a good one. Hopefully, it’s not just the trailer that’s good. Jesse Eisenberg as Luthor has me hopeful…but then again, so did Kevin Spacey. Ugh.
Chris: I have scoffed at the premise of any scenario where Batman could take on Superman, but comic movies are all about suspending reality anyway, so what the heck.  I am in.
Rob:  Make mine Marvel!

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (Universal) – Comedy/Romance
Rated PG-13 for some suggestive material
Tag Line:  Every day of my life is Greek Club.
Starring: Nia Vardalos, John Corbett
Plot: A Portokalos family secret brings the beloved characters back together for an even bigger and Greeker wedding.
Running Time: 94 minutes

Rob:  I will probably be forced to watch this with my wife at some point, but will try to resist.
Chris:  I formally renew my vow to not see this film.
Ken: Didn’t see the first, no interest in the sequel.
Jessica: Where’s the caped crusader? The man of steel? Wonder Woman? No superhero’s means I don’t care.
Jim: Jaded Moviegoer is showing up a lot this week—I’ve had it with ethnic family comedies as well—they peaked with Moonstruck.

I Saw the Light (Sony Picture Classics) – Biography/Drama/Music
Rated R for some language and brief sexuality/nudity
Tag Line: None
Starring: Tom Hiddleston, Elizabeth Olsen
Plot: The story of the country-western singer Hank Williams, who in his brief life created one of the greatest bodies of work in American music. The film chronicles his rise to fame and its tragic effect on his health and personal life.
Running Time: 123 minutes

Jim: Might as well just rent Walk the Line.
Rob:  No interest.  But Hiddleston may be the next Bond, so it may be good to see what he can do.
Chris: Tom Hiddleston seems to take to this role of country legend well.  Color me intrigued.
Ken: Reminds me of Walk the Line, the Johnny Cash movie, but with a much grimmer ending.
Jessica: Nope, nope, nope…No Lex Luthor? All set.

Born to Be Blue (IFC Films) – Biography/Drama/Music
Rated R for drug use, language, some sexuality and brief violence
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Ethan Hawke, Carmen Ejogo
Plot: A re-imagining of jazz legend Chet Baker’s musical comeback in the late ’60s.

Jessica: Music is nice, I bet Batman likes music, moody sad music, oh so jazz is perfect for him!
Jim: I love jazz and Ethan Hawke always surprises me—rental, at the least.
Rob: Looks really good, but rental material.

Chris: Two musical bio-pics in one week.  Country Vs Jazz….FIGHT!
Ken: Another dark, musical biopic. Not familiar with Chet Baker so not very jazzed about this movie.

They’re Watching (Amplify) – Comedy/Horror
Not Rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: Mia Faith, Kris Lemche
Plot: When an American home improvement TV show visits a remote Eastern European village, the young crew thinks the lack of mocha lattés and free wifi will be the worst of their problems. But after their filming interrupts the superstitious villagers’ private religious ritual, the situation takes a turn for the homicidal… and when the blood starts flowing, that’s when things get really weird. With THEY’RE WATCHING, noted graphic novelists and animators Micah Wright and Jay Lender turn a classic horror premise upside down to create a fresh, funny, eye-popping twist on the genre.
Running Time: 95 minutes

Ken: Literally watched the trailer 3 times, still can’t figure out wtf is going on. Who just yells out “witch” at a strange bar?
Jessica: Um what? Superman would blow this film up with his heat vision.
Jim: WHAT are we watching? Sorry, the SpongeBob reference threw me.
Rob:  Stupidly amusing, and would rent it.  I also love the SpongeBob reference.

Chris:  They is certainly not me.

Tickets Purchased:  Four tickets for the DC throw-down (Ken, Chris, Jessica, and Jim).  Rob stays home and watches more Daredevil.

Whose Side Are You On?
Whose Side Are You On?