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Trailer Snark (June 26th 2015 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Ted 2 (Universal) – Comedy
Rated R for crude and sexual content, pervasive language, and some drug use
Tag Line:  Ted is coming, again.
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried, and Morgan Freeman
Plot: Newlywed couple Ted and Tami-Lynn want to have a baby, but in order to qualify to be a parent, Ted will have to prove he’s a person in a court of law.
Running Time:  115 minutes

Ken: We get it Seth McFarlane, you’re a funny guy and I’ll check out your latest Ted movie when it inevitably hits Comedy Central . While I’ll admit to a few chuckles during the trailer, even a Tom Brady cameo isn’t enough to get me to the theater for this one.
Rob: Crude and hilarious…to a point.  Not the kind of flick I would drop my hard earned money on to see on the big screen, but I’ll catch it down the road on Blu-Ray.
Chris: I know these movies have a tendency to be a bit over the lines of good taste, but I could not help laughing through the trailer.  This one has potential, and Tom Brady.
Jessica: Looks hilarious, can’t wait!
Jim: Looks just as funny as the first one. Will definitely see this, as will many others.

Max (MGM) – Drama/Family
Rated PG for action violence, peril, brief language and some thematic elements
Tag Line: Best Friend. Hero.  Marine.
Starring: Thomas Hayden Church, Jay Hernandez, and Josh Wiggins.
Plot: A dog that helped US Marines in Afghanistan returns to the U.S. and is adopted by his handler’s family after suffering a traumatic experience.
Running Time: 111 minutes

Jessica: The trailer made me get a little weepy when I saw it before ‘Jurassic World’- I’ll probably never watch it but it looks halfway decent.
Chris: Looks like a tremendous affair of the heart.  Dog owners and military families get their due.
Jim: Sorry, looks too sad. Can’t deal with sad right now. Rob: Looks like a great flick that will tug the heartstrings for sure.  No doubt that dogs are man’s best friend.
Ken: Sappy. If you love dogs and love Murca then you’ll probably love this movie.
Rob: Looks like a great flick that will tug the heartstrings for sure.  No doubt that dogs are man’s best friend.

Escobar: Paradise Lost (RADiUS TWC) – Romance/Thriller
Rated R for violence including grisly images
Tag Line: Welcome to the family.
Starring: Benicio Del Toro, Josh Hutcherson, Claudia Traisac, and Carlos Bardem
Plot: In Colombia, a young surfer meets the woman of his dreams – and then he meets her uncle, Pablo Escobar.
Running Time: 120 minutes

Jim: No thanks, think I’ll just watch Scarface again.
Jessica: Eh. I enjoy Del Toro but I can take or leave Hutcherson and the story looks a bit syrupy to me.
Chris: Benicio Del Toro is one of the better actors in Hollywood, but I am a bit concerned that the filmmakers are attempting to humanize a monster in my eyes.  Maybe I am wrong?  I’ll check it out when it hits home markets.
Rob: Medllin?!?!  Where’s Vince?  Yeah, that’s right I’m catching up on my Entourage.  Wonder if that had anything to do with the development of this film…. it looks really good, just not sure I want to spend my dough seeing a film that glorifies “The King of Cocaine.”
Ken: Too much romance, not enough Pablo. Say hello to the bad guy…’s nephew in law.

Big Game (EuropaCorp USA) – Action/Adventure
Rated PG – 13 for sequences of intense action and violence, and some language
Tag Line: Big Action. Big Adventure.
Starring:  Samuel L. Jackson, Ray Stevenson, Ted Levine, and Onni Tommila
Plot: A young teenager camping in the woods helps rescue the President of the United States when Air Force One is shot down near his campsite.
Running Time: 110 minutes

Rob: I love Samuel Jackson but this looks like such a lame ass generic action flick it hurt to watch the trailer.  Are we sure this isn’t going straight to DVD?
Chris: As much as it pains me to agree with Rob , I am forced to agree that this trailer was absolutely wretched. Prepare for one week in theaters and then don’t see it on DVD/Netlfix in two months.
Jessica: ARE YOU SERIOUS? Seriously. ARE YOU SERIOUS??? I am SOOOOOO all over this. It made me laugh and SLJ as the Prez? I AM SO IN I AM IN IT LIKE SUPER IN. Love these kinds of fun flicks.
Ken: This looks so terrible that it might be ironically funny. If  anyone else besides Sam L Jackson was cast as the president, no way this movie gets made.
Jim: Did the people that made this trailer really mean to make it look this ridiculous? 25 years ago, I could see Leslie Nielsen playing Sam Jackson’s part.

Batkid Begins (Warner Bros) –  Documentary/Biography
Rated PG for some mild thematic material
Tag Line: None
Starring: A bunch of very real people!
Plot:  On one day, in one city, the world comes together to grant one 5 year old cancer patient his wish. Batkid Begins looks at the ‘why’ of this flash phenomenon.
Running Time: 87 minutes

Jessica: Adorable. I followed this story when it was actually happening. I will totally watch this.
Rob: The best of humanity.  In the face of his deadly battle against leukemia, one kid’s wish becomes a reality. …and it’s a doozy!
Jim: Again, sad— but it also looks inspiring. Might be worth a look.
Ken: Wish well spent. So relieved when Jess pointed out that Batkid is currently in remission. Inhospitable proof that there are few things in this world more powerful than a child’s belief in super heroes.
Chris: This is one of those rare feelgood true stories that don’t get enough attention from media and Hollywood alike.  The type of documentary that just might restore your faith in humanity as a whole.

Glass Chin (Phase 4 Films) – Drama/Thriller
Rating N/A
Tag Line:  Murder is an art.Starring: Billy Cudrup, Katherine Waterson, Corey Stoll, and Elizabeth Rodriguez
Plot: A down-on-his-luck former boxing champ is forced to make a choice between friendship and ambition when he is framed for murder.
Running Time: 87 minutes

Jim: Looks boring and cliched.  Pass.
Jessica: Mmmm…I’d probably watch this at home. I like Corey Stoll and Billy Crudup.
Ken: Pulp crime and boxing, a winning one-two combination. Is that gym located next door to Paddy’s Pub?
Rob: Looks decent.  Has potential.
Chris: Crime thriller on a shoe string budget.  But that is just fine!  Color me intrigued.

Tickets Purchased:  2 tickets for Batkid Begins (Ken, Rob), 1 ticket for Big Game (Jessica), 1 ticket for Max (Chris), and 1 ticket for Ted 2 (Jim).

Best of the Brave, and in Remission!
Best of the Brave, and in Remission!