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Trailer Snark (August 11, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Eric from View from Above, Robert from Cards and Counters, Wayne from The Dope Sheet, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Annabelle: Creation (Warner Bros) – Horror/Mystery/Thriller
Rated R for horror violence and terror.
Tag Line: You don’t know the real story.
Starring: Stephanie Sigman, Miranda Otto
Plot: Several years after the tragic death of their little girl, a dollmaker and his wife welcome a nun and several girls from a shuttered orphanage into their home, soon becoming the target of the dollmaker’s possessed creation, Annabelle.
Running Time: 109 minutes

Wayne: I’m selling this movie. Uses so many tricks to get a jump out of you. I’m not a fan of giving a doll an origin story. 
Chris: Am I alone in not knowing that Annabelle was tied to the Conjuring series? Well, this is no Conjuring from what I have seen.
Jessica: I LOVE the Conjuring, and the sequel was okay, this looks like a big pile of poo.
Jim: Jim Asleep

The Glass Castle (Lionsgate) – Bigoraphy/Drama
Rated PG-13 for mature thematic content involving family dysfunction, and for some language and smoking
Tag Line: Home goes wherever we go.
Starring: Woody Harrelson, Brie Larson
Plot: A young girl comes of age in a dysfunctional family of nonconformist nomads with a mother who’s an eccentric artist and an alcoholic father who would stir the children’s imagination with hope as a distraction to their poverty.
Running Time: 127 minutes

Jim: Woody is awesome, but I was beaten a little too much with the Inspirational Movie Stick during the trailer.
Wayne: I’m selling this movie. A story that isn’t going to get us anywhere. I like the casting, but don’t believe this to be worth seeing in a theater.
Chris: Wake me when it’s over.
Jessica: I LOVE Woody Harrelson but this looks like a great film to take a nap to.

The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature (Open Road Films) – Animation/Family
Rated PG for action and some rude humor
Tag Line: Get ready. Get set.  Get nuts!
Starring: Will Arnett, Katherine Heigl, Jackie Chan
Plot: Following the events of the first film, Surly and his friends must stop Oakton City’s mayor from destroying their home to make way for a dysfunctional amusement park.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Jessica: I don’t even have the words for how stupid this looks. Oh wait, I do, it looks stupid.
Jim: Was the first one even a hit? I remember seeing the trailer for the first one and hoping my daughter didn’t ask me to take her to see it. Mercifully, she didn’t. Man, this is one lame summer for movies.
Wayne: I’m selling this movie. Only a week out and now we’re seeing the push for this movie? Also opening late in the summer tells me they don’t have confidence in the film and neither do I.  
Chris: This first felt like a direct to DVD family film. I suspect this will be no better.

The Only Living Boy in New York (Roadside Attractions) – Drama
Rated R for adult situations
Tag Line: None
Starring: Jeff Bridge, Pierce Brosnan, Callum Turner, Kate Beckinsale
Plot: Adrift in New York City, a recent college graduate’s life is upended by his father’s mistress.
Running Time: 88 minutes

Chris: Mildly interesting, if only for Beckinsale and Bridges. Could be a good choice for the small screen.
Jessica: Pretentious drivel. I do enjoy Jeff Bridges, but you’d have to pay me to see this in theaters, or at home.
Jim: The good cast makes it a possible rental.
Wayne: I’m buying this. An interesting story and hey, it has KATE! 

The Trip to Spain (IFC Films) – Comedy/Drama
Not Rated
Tag Line:  The two amigos are back.
Starring: Steve Coogan, Rob Brydon
Plot: Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon embark on a six-part episodic road trip through Spain, sampling the restaurants, eateries, and sights along the way.
Running Time: 108 minutes

Wayne: I’m buying this. While the ladies of the summer have had their share of girl only fun, time for the guys to get their chance with some old fart trip to Spain. Interesting story and will check it out.
Chris: I still have not seen the first two movies, but this one looks like a good reason to hunt it down quickly.
Jessica: I didn’t see the first two either Chris, but this looks fun, as do the ones that came before.
Jim: The Trip, The Trip to Italy, and now this. I thought the first two were a blast, this looks to be the same. Picturesque locations, great-looking food, and some witty bantering from these two likable comedians (love the Roger Moore bit). If only more movies were as enjoyable on a simple level as these are.

Tickets Purchased: Three for The trip to Spain (Wayne, Chris, and Jim) and One for The Only Living Boy in New York (Wayne) while Jessica gets caught up with a viewing of Dunkirk.

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Trailer Snark (March 10, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Kong: Skull Island (Warner Bros) – Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and for brief strong language.
Tag Line: Awaken the King.
Starring: Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L Jackson
Plot: A team of scientists, soldiers and adventurers unites to explore an uncharted island in the Pacific. Cut off from everything they know, the team ventures into the domain of the mighty Kong. As their mission becomes one of survival, they must fight to escape a primal Eden.
Running Time: 120 minutes

Jessica: It’s ALL about King Kong for me this week so I can’t even deal with any of these other silly films. 😉
Jim: JL, I wholeheartedly share your enthusiasm. The original ’33 King, to me, is still the greatest adventure film of all time (I even like Son of Kong and the original Mighty Joe Young) and Peter Jackson’s remake was pretty awesome.  The original just gets better every time I see it.  Seeing this one on Wednesday, can’t wait! Great cast, good trailer (although shows a bit too much). The other movies just don’t have a chance.
Chris: I’d love to play Devil’s Advocate here, but the moment I saw this trailer I knew I needed to make it a priority to witness it in all of it’s Big Screen glory!

Raw (Focus World) – Drama/Horror
Rated R for aberrant behavior, bloody and grisly images, strong sexuality, nudity, language and drug use/partying
Tag Line: What are you hungry for?
Starring: Garance Marrilier, Ella Rumpf
Plot: When a young vegetarian undergoes a carnivorous hazing ritual at vet school, an unbidden taste for meat begins to grow in her.
Running Time: 99 minutes

Chris:  Hold the bath salts, thank you.  <Puke>
Jessica: No giant apes?  No Loki?  Pass.
Jim: This looks scarier than Kong.

The Ottoman Lieutenant (Paladin) – Drama/War
Rated R for some war violence
Tag Line: In a land on the brink of war the most dangerous place to be is in love.
Starring: Michiel Huisman, Ben Kingsley, Josh Hartnett
Plot: The Ottoman Lieutenant is a love story between an idealistic American nurse and a Turkish officer in World War I.
Running Time: 106 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ9TZlyQSJM
Jim: ZZZZZZ
Chris: Certainly looks better than the Ben Kingsley film we looked at here two weeks ago, but not good enough to drag me to the theater.
Jessica: Nope, not KK.

Personal Shopper (IFC Films) – Mystery/Drama/Thriller
Rated R for some language, sexuality, nudity and a bloody violent image
Tag Line: None
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Lars Edlinger
Plot: Revolves around a ghost story that takes place in the fashion underworld of Paris.
Running Time: 105 minutes

Jessica: Unless they’re buying GIANT shoes for Kingy Kongy, I’ll pass!
Jim: I liked Clouds of Sils Maria, looks interesting (I’m waiting for Kristen Stewart jokes from SOMEbody).
Chris: I suggest a cross-over film where King Kong visit Paris and eats Kristen Stewart, downing her with a glass of wine, while the Ottoman Empire rises and invades Western Europe. I think that covers a combination of all this week’s previous trailers and delivers Jim from disappointment.

The Sense of an Ending (CBS Films) – Drama
Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, a violent image, sexuality and brief strong language
Tag Line: Unravel the truth.
Starring: Jim Broadbent, Charlotte Rampling, Harriet Walter
Plot: A man becomes haunted by his past and is presented with a mysterious legacy that causes him to re-think his current situation in life.
Running Time: 108 minutes

Chris: This one actually caught me by surprise.  Refreshingly understated reflective mystery.
Jessica: I sense an ending with a GIANT APE.
Jim: Maybe worth a rental ’cause of the premise.

The Other Half (Brainstorm Media) – Dram/Romance
Not Rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: Tatiana Maslany, Tom Cullen
Plot: A bipolar woman and a grief-stricken man struggle to forge a simple life.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Jim: ZZZZZZ part two.
Chris:  Two minutes…..all it took to put me to sleep.  Probably the darkest (literally) trailer I have ever seen.
Jessica: If the other half of the other half isn’t Kong, I’ll pass.

The Dark Below (Parade Deck Films) – Thriller
Not Rated
Tag Line: Silence is the most powerful scream.
Starring: Lauren Mae Shafer, Veronica Cartwright
Plot: A woman struggles for survival beneath a frozen lake while a serial killer stalks her from the surface.

Jessica: I came up with lots of jokes that are not printable so I’ll just say, not Kong, not for me!
Jim: Looks pretty intense, whatever it is. Veronica Cartwright, wow!
Chris: Love the concept. Cat and very wet mouse.

Tickets Purchased:  Three for Kong!

 

What are Samuel Jackson's Vegas odds on survival in this film?
What are Samuel Jackson’s Vegas odds on survival in this film?
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Trailer Snark (October 16, 2015 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Matt Damon’s The Martian once again claims the top spot this past week with an additional $37M added to its $108.7M total.  The animated Sandler sequel Hotel Transylvania also managed to stay in its second place spot with $20.5M and $116.8M overall.  The debuting Pan came in third amidst mediocre reviews with $15.5M.  The Intern was bumped one spot to fourth ($8.6M/$49.5M).  Sicario took fifth ($7.3M/$26.7M).  The rest of the list lacked any surprises or new debuts and was as follows:  Maze Runner: Scorch Trials ($5.2M/$70.6M), The Walk ($3.6M/$6.3M), Black Mass ($3.1M/$57.5M), Everest ($3M/$38.2M), and The Visit ($2.4M/$61M).  Let’s see who the contenders are this week……

Goosebumps (Columbia) – Action/Comedy/Adventure
Rated PG for scary and intense creature action and images, and for some rude humor
Tag Line: The stories are alive.
Starring: Jack Black, Dylan Minnette, Odeya Rush
Plot: A teenager teams up with the daughter of young adult horror author R.L. Stine after the writer’s imaginary demons are set free on the town of Greendale, Maryland.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Chris: We have Jack Black as the curmudgeon gatekeeper/author of every Goosebump ever written and about the be unleashed on humanity.  I was actually pleasantly surprised by the trailer, with an assist from low expectation.
Jessica: Didn’t read the books, don’t care about the movie.
Ken: Is Jack Black supposed to be playing R.L. Stein? I read a lot of Goosebumps as a child and I only felt the slightest twinge of nostalgia.

Crimson Peak (Legendary Pictures) – Drama/Fantasy/Horror
Rated R for bloody violence, some sexual content and brief strong language
Tag Line: Beware.
Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Jessica Chastain, Tom Hiddleston
Plot: In the aftermath of a family tragedy, an aspiring author is torn between love for her childhood friend and the temptation of a mysterious outsider. Trying to escape the ghosts of her past, she is swept away to a house that breathes, bleeds…and remembers.
Running Time: 119 minutes

Ken: The visuals look amazing. And who doesn’t like a good haunted house story around Halloween?
Chris: Guillermo del Toro is a true artist (see Pan’s Labrynth as evidence).  This looks to be a clear winner by my eyes and ears.  If you like stylistic horror, look no further.
Jessica: I love me some Guillermo so I’m in! I love a good spooky flick, plus it has Loki and Jax!

Bridge of Spies (Disney) – Biography/Drama/History
Rated PG-13 for some violence and brief strong language
Tag Line: In a world on the brink the difference between war and peace was one honest man.
Starring: Tom Hanks, Mark Rylance, Alan Alda
Plot: An American lawyer is recruited by the CIA during the Cold War to help rescue a pilot detained in the Soviet Union.
Running Time: 141 minutes

Jessica: What? I fell asleep again. BORING.
Ken: A lot of marquee names on this one: Spielberg, Hanks and the Coen brothers. I’ll check it out when it comes to streaming.
Chris: Spielberg and Hanks are at it again.  This time tackling the Cold War between the us and the Soviets.  Good timing as the Russian bear seems to be rising again to fill the world power vacuum.  Definitely has my attention.

Truth (Sony Pictures Classic) – Biography/Drama
Rated R for language and a brief nude photo
Tag Line: None
Starring: Cate Blanchett, Robert Redford, Tpher Grace, Dennis Quaid, Bruce Greenwood
Plot: Newsroom drama detailing the 2004 CBS 60 Minutes report investigating then-President George W. Bush’s military service, and the subsequent firestorm of criticism that cost anchor Dan Rather and producer Mary Mapes their careers.
Running Time: 121 minutes

Chris: Docu-drama on the forged military service documents of President George W Bush.  Apologist piece or objective presentation?  Who knows…maybe I will catch it on the small screen?
Jessica: This looks really fascinating, stellar, star-packed cast and an intriguing story about fighting the good fight and asking the hard questions. Totally want to see this.
Ken: I think I’m digging this movie’s message, but let’s just all take a moment and acknowledge that G. W. should never have been president in the first place.

Room (A24) – Drama
Rated R for language
Tag Line: Love knows no boundaries.
Starring: Brie Larson, Jacob Tremblay, William H Macy
Plot: After 5-year old Jack and his Ma escape from the enclosed surroundings that Jack has known his entire life, the boy makes a thrilling discovery: the outside world.
Running Time: 118 minutes

Ken: Looks like a good story that doesn’t interest me.
Chris: An escape to the real world?  I am not sure what this movie is really about from the trailer, but it looks like it wants to pull the heart strings.
Jessica: Looks intriguing. I’d totally check this out at home.

Woodlawn (PureFlix Cinema) – Drama
Rated PG for thematic elements including some racial tension/violence
Tag Line: One hope.  One truth. One way.
Starring: Caleb Castille, Sean Astin, Jon Voight
Plot: A gifted high school football player must learn to embrace his talent and his faith as he battles racial tensions on and off the field.
Running Time: 123 minutes

Jessica: Looks like an uplifting story about acceptance and faith. I’d check this out at home and I do have mad love for Samwise Gamgee.
Ken: Sean Astin needs to stop doing football movies. Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!
Chris: Faith-based football movie dealing with racism in the Deep South (a popular subject of film-making) in the early 70’s…..actually looks pretty good.  I kind of dig football movies.

Momentum (Starz Digital Media) – Action/Thriller
Not Rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: Olga Kurylenko, James Purefoy, Morgan Freeman
Plot: Alex, a mysterious thief, is pulled in by her former partner for one last heist. She quickly finds it was never just about the diamonds. A brutal murder sparks a cat and mouse chase between…
Running Time: 96 minutes

Chris: Olga Kurylenko does non-Bond action thriller.  This one looks a bit more hard core than the shaken, not stirred English gentleman variety action film.
Jessica: Eh. This didn’t do a whole lot for me. Though, on an interesting note, I did a transcription of an interview between the director of this movie (it’s his first film. he has been Clint Eastwood’s main cameraman for YEARS), seems like a really passionate film guy, gotta respect that.
Ken: There’s just something about foreign accents that makes bad dialogue in action films bearable.

Tickets Purchased:  Three for Crimson Peak

It's that time of fear...er, we mean year!
It’s that time of fear…er, we mean year!