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Trailer Snark (February 10, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

The Lego Batman Movie (Warner Bros) – Animated/Family
Rated PG for rude humor and some action
Tag Line: Checkin’ out these sick beats
Starring: Will Arnett, Michael Cera, Rosario Dawson, Ralph Fiennes
Plot: Bruce Wayne must not only deal with the criminals of Gotham City, but also the responsibility of raising a boy he adopted.
Running Time: 104 minutes

Jessica:  I thought the Lego Movie was hilarious so I have hopes that this one will be too. The previews crack me up!
Chris: One superhero movie I won’t be seeing in the theater.  I’d rather walk barefoot on the whole cast.

Fifty Shades Darker (Universal) – Drama/Romance
Rated R for strong erotic sexual content, some graphic nudity, and language
Tag Line: Slip into something a shade darker
Starring:  Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Eric Johnson
Plot: While Christian wrestles with his inner demons, Anastasia must confront the anger and envy of the women who came before her.
Running Time: 118 minutes

Chris: Probably the only thing more torturous than walking barefoot across the lego movie cast would be watching this pile of garbage.
Jessica: I detested the first book, the movie was moderately better (which is NOT saying much) and I have ZERO interest in seeing this though I suspect Frankie will trick me into it at some point. We’ll never pay movie ticket prices for this load of blah.

John Wick: Chapter 2 (Lionsgate) –  Action/Crime/Thriller
Rated R for strong violence throughout, some language and brief nudity.
Tag Line: None
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Ruby Rose, Lawrence Fishburne
Plot: After returning to the criminal underworld to repay a debt, John Wick discovers that a large bounty has been put on his life.
Running Time: 122 minutes

Jessica: LOVED the first one! Can’t wait to catch the sequel!
Chris: I still have not seen the first movie, but this one looks like a fun night at the theater.  Perhaps a little double feature Blu-Ray showing of the original coupled with a big screen Keanu how do you do?

A United Kingdom (Fox Searchlight) – Biography/Drama/Romance
Rated PG-13 for some language including racial epithets and a scene of sensuality
Tag Line: None
Starring: David Oyelowo, Rosamund Pike
Plot: Prince Seretse Khama of Botswana causes an international stir when he marries a white woman from London in the late 1940s.
Running Time: 111 minutes

Chris: I have been watching The Crown on Netflix lately…similar type material, and I am a fan of Rosamund Pike.  More likely a small screen candidate though.
Jessica: Oh this is right up my alley. Love the cast and the message behind it is so very important. This looks fantastic.

Tickets purchased:  Two for John Wick: Chapter 2!

You killed his dog....prepare to die
You killed his dog….prepare to die
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Trailer Snark (September 23, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Your trailer snark now comes with more thrills and less fill!  Let’s get right down to it!

The Magnificent Seven (MGM) – Western/Action
Rated PG-13 for extended and intense sequences of Western violence, and for historical smoking, some language and suggestive material
Tag Line: Justice has a number.
Starring:  Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke
Plot: Seven gun men in the old west gradually come together to help a poor village against savage thieves.
Running Time: 132 minutes

Chris: One trailer in, and I cannot imagine anything overtaking this one.  Denzell and Pratt are favorites of mine, and the Old West never looked so wild and good.
Jessica: All over this one. One, it’s a Western. Two, it’s Denzel. Three, it’s Chris Pratt. Four, it’s a WESTERN.
Jim: Oh yeah. Great cast, good director, awesome source material (Seven Samurai and the 1960 original) and a well-made trailer. Get thee to a big screen.

Storks (Warner Bros) – Animated/Family
Rated PG for mild action and some thematic elements
Tag Line: A bundle of trouble is coming.
Starring: Adam Samberg, Jennifer Aniston, Kelsey Grammer
Plot: Storks have moved on from delivering babies to packages. But when an order for a baby appears, the best delivery stork must scramble to fix the error by delivering the baby.
Running Time: 89 minutes

Jim: Kids movies are a pretty crowded field. This doesn’t look much different than the rest—possible home viewer.
Chris: I’d rather watch Sporks….you know…an animated tale of the school lunch utensil’s answer to the platypus.
Jessica: Eh. Still not a fan of animated films so I’ll pass.

Queen of Katwe (Disney) – Biography/Drama
Rated PG for thematic elements, an accident scene and some suggestive material
Tag Line: One girl’s triumphant path to becoming a chess champion.
Starring: Madina Nalwanga, David Oyelowo
Plot: An Ugandan girl sees her world rapidly change after being introduced to the game of chess.
Running Time: 124 minutes

Jessica: This looks super sweet — perhaps TOO sweet, it is Disney so I am sure they gloss over how horrible her life truly was, but I’d watch it at home at some point.
Jim: Inspirational in a TV movie kind of way. Home viewer.
Chris: Chess movies usually don’t stir much interest for me, but this one has a nice human interest element to it.

The Dressmaker (Broad Green) – Drama
Rated R for brief language and a scene of violence
Tag Line: Revenge is back in fashion.
Starring: Kate Winslet, Liam Hemsworth
Plot: A glamorous woman returns to her small town in rural Australia. With her sewing machine and haute couture style, she transforms the women and exacts sweet revenge on those who did her wrong.
Running Time: 118 minutes

Chris: Not sure what to make of this one…….how about a dress?
Jessica: This look like a decent bit of fun. I enjoy Winslet and Thor’s little brother? AND HUGO WEAVING? Yeah, I’d watch this one at home.
Jim: Looks OK, good cast, but not worth plunking down the ten bucks. Home viewer.

Goat (Paramount) – Drama
Rated R for disturbing behavior involving hazing, strong sexual content and nudity, pervasive language, violence, alcohol abuse and some drug use
Tag Line: Cruelty. Brutality. Fraternity.
Starring: Ben Schnetzer, Nick Jonas
Plot: Reeling from a terrifying assault, a 19 year-old boy enrolls into college with his brother and pledges the same fraternity. What happens there, in the name of “brotherhood,” tests the boy and his loyalty to his brother in brutal ways.
Running Time: 96 minutes
Jim: If I want to watch morons for 2 hours, I’ll put in Dumb and Dumber. No way.
Chris:  Makes me glad I went to a school that lacked fraternities.  I’ll pass.
Jessica: What the F? Why do I care about a bunch of boys doing stupid things to be in a frat? I got annoyed and turned off the trailer. All set with this one. Forever. And no one else should see it either.

Tickets Purchased:  Unanimous decision for The Magnificent Seven!

This town ain't big enough for eight.
This town ain’t big enough for eight.
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Trailer Snark (August 5, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week:  Jason Bourne took the box office crown with $60M, proving the franchise is still alive and well with Matt Damon back in his famous role.  Star Trek Beyond was second place with $24M and $105.7M overall.  Bad Moms debuted at number three with $23.4M.  The Secret Life of Pets held fourth place ($18.2M/296.1M).  And Lights Out rounded out the top five ($10.8/$42.8M).  Ice Age:  Collision Course ($10.5M/$42.1M), Ghostbusters ($9.8M/$106.1M), Nerve ($9M/$15M), Finding Dory ($4.2M/$469M), and The Legend of Tarzan ($2.4M/$121.8M) rounded out the top ten.  We are one day into the new weekend already, but here is what premiered across the USA last night!

Suicide Squad (Warner Bros) – Action/Adventure/Comedy
Rated PG – 13 for sequences of violence and action throughout, disturbing behavior, suggestive content and language
Tag Line: Worst. Heroes. Ever.
Starring:  Will Smith, Margot Robbie, Jared Leto
Plot: A secret government agency recruits imprisoned supervillains to execute dangerous black ops missions in exchange for clemency.
Running Time: 123 minutes

Jim: Two Words: Margot Robbie. Definitely this weekend.
Jessica: I’m excited for this one. As I’ve said before I enjoyed Superman v. Batman so I am hopefully this will be as good, or better than that one. It looks crazy and fun!
Rob: Normally I land solidly on the Make Mine Marvel side of the fence, but this looks like a fun & frenzied flick.  Heck, Margot Robbie’s portrayal of Harley Quinn  alone looks to be worth the price of admission.  Plus, I kinda dig the whole comic genre.
Chris: After Batman v Superman, I was a bit deflated on DC’s movie offerings, but this one has the potential to change my tune.

Nine Lives (EuropaCorpUSA) – Comedy/Family
Rated PG for thematic elements, language and some rude humor
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Kevin Spacey, Jennifer Garner, Christopher Walken
Plot: A stuffy businessman finds himself trapped inside the body of his family’s cat.
Running Time: 87 minutes

Chris: A bit shocked that Kevin Spacey is doing something like this.  I was getting a Gremlins vibe for a moment there.
Jim: Kevin Spacey, why? Jennifer Garner, why? Barry Sonnenfeld, from Men in Black to this?
Jessica: Oh Kevin. What the heck?
Rob: Ok, I think Kevin Spacey is one of the most talented actors around, but this is most certainly an odd choice of roles for someone so skilled…absolute pass.

Little Men (Magnolia) – Drama/Family
Rated PG for thematic elements, smoking and some language
Tag Line: Be on each other’s side.
Starring:  Greg Kinnear, Alfred Molina
Plot: A new pair of best friends have their bond tested by their parents’ battle over a dress shop lease.
Running Time: 85 minutes

Rob: Looks like a decent film, just not a big screen type for me.  Netflix queue.
Chris: Not my cup of java.
Jim: Looks interesting, rental.
Jessica: Looks sweet, I’ll probably never remember it though. But if I ever do see it, I’d watch it at home.

Five Nights in Maine (FilmRise) – Drama
Not Rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: David Oyelowo, Dianne West
Plot: A young African American man, reeling from the tragic loss of his wife, travels to rural Maine to seek answers from his estranged mother-in-law, who is herself confronting guilt and grief over her daughter’s death.
Running Time: 82 minutes

Jessica: Holy cow this looks intense!
Rob: Like the rest, I was left wondering what is going on after the last few seconds of this trailer.  That’s not quite enough to pull me out to the theatre, but it was a finely crafted trailer.  Hopefully the film fits the same mold and its worth checking out down the road.
Chris: The trailer has me intrigued, and wondering what the mystery is.
Jim: This one of the best trailers I’ve seen in a long time. What the heck is going on?

Front Cover (Strand Releasing) – Comedy/Drama/Romance
Not Rated
Tag Line: Love is always in style.Starring: Jack Choi, James Chen
Plot: When a gay fashion stylist works with a renowned foreign actor, they both embark on a journey of self-discovery.
Running Time: 87 minutes

Jim: Looks well-made, but nah.
Jessica: I love the message, but the trailer left me feeling kind of blah.
Rob: Looks mildly interesting.  Pass.
Chris: I give this movie two snaps, a twist, and a kiss….my butt goodbye…pass.

Tickets Purchased: Unanimous Decision for Suicide Squad!

Put us in coach!
Put us in coach!