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Trailer Snark (May 26, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Eric from View from Above, Robert from Cards and Counters, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (Disney) – Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for sequences of adventure violence, and some suggestive content
Tag Line: None
Starring: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Javier Bardem
Plot: Captain Jack Sparrow searches for the trident of Poseidon.
Running Time: 129 minutes

Chris: I’m ready to dust off that bottle of rum and raise that jolly roger.  Jack Sparrow is back!
Robert: Really….. Another One?….. I say that as I look at show times for this weekend.
Jim: I know, another one—but my daughter loves them, I like them, and I love movies that I can enjoy with my daughter.

Baywatch (Paramount) – Action/Comedy/Drama
Rated R for language throughout, crude sexual content, and graphic nudity
Tag Line: Go ahead and stare.
Starring: Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson, Alexandra Daddario, Zac Effron
Plot: Devoted lifeguard Mitch Buchanan butts heads with a brash new recruit. Together, they uncover a local criminal plot that threatens the future of the Bay.
Running Time: 116 minutes

Jim: Never watched the show, but worth a rental. In other words, see-worthy. Heh heh.
Chris:  like The Rock, but I remember that moment when David Hasselhoff became uncool when I was a youngster.  When he traded in the leather jacket for the orange trunks.
Robert: (eye roll) You mean to tell me that a life guard is so proud of his job that he going to act like an FBI agent? Get outta here.

Long Strange Trip (Amazon Studios) – Documentary
Rated R for drug content throughout, language and some graphic nudity
Tag Line: The untold story of the Grateful Dead.
Starring: You know who.
Plot: The tale of the Grateful Dead is inspiring, complicated, and downright messy. A tribe of contrarians, they made art out of open-ended chaos and inadvertently achieved success on their own terms. Never-before-seen footage and interviews offer this unprecedented and unvarnished look at the life of the Dead.
Running Time: 238 minutes

Robert: I like music history. I took a lot of music classes in college, so I enjoy documentaries on anything music. But I’m glad Amazon Prime… I don’t have to pay for it. That is if I remember to stream it.
Jim: Not a big fan of the band, so gets a blank, hazy,  stare from me.
Chris: Not a fan of this band, so my interest is Dead on Arrival.

Drone (Screen Media Films) – Thriller
Not Rated
Tag Line: Choose your targets wisely.
Starring: Sean Bean, Mary McCormack, Patrick Sabongui
Plot: Ideologies collide with fatal results when a military drone contractor meets an enigmatic Pakistani businessman.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Chris: Could be an entertaining thriller, but not enough to get me to the theater.  Will Sean Bean lose his head again?  Stay tuned.
Robert: I can see this being a roller coaster of emotions. Sean Bean is just one of those ones where you gotta like whatever he’s in. But I will save this one for the small screen.
Jim: Kind of like Patriot Games, but this time Sean Bean’s the good guy.

Tickets Purchased: 3 for Pirates of the Caribbean!

C'mon, that was punny!
C’mon, that was punny!
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Trailer Snark (April 14, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

The Fate of the Furious (Universal) – Action/Crime/Thriller
Rated PG-13 for prolonged sequences of violence and destruction, suggestive content, and language
Tag Line:  The ride isn’t over.
Starring: Vin Diesel, Kurt Russell, Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham
Plot: When a mysterious woman seduces Dom into the world of terrorism and a betrayal of those closest to him, the crew face trials that will test them as never before.
Running Time: 136 minutes

Chris: If you ask my kids, this is the best series to have ever been created.  It’s descent enough cinema.
Jim: I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve only seen the first in the series (and liked it). I’ll have to catch up. This has an amazing cast and plenty of action, worth a look.

Spark: A Space Tail (Open Road Films) – Animation/Adventure
Rated PG for some action and rude humor
Tag Line:  None
Starring: Jessica Biel, Susan Sarandon, Patrick Stewart, Hillary Swank
Plot: Spark, a teenage monkey and his friends, Chunk and Vix, are on a mission to regain Planet Bana – a kingdom overtaken by the evil overlord Zhong.
Running Time: 90 minutes

Jim: Where? Not under me to get me to see this cheap-looking kid flick.
Chris: Did anyone else see the nod to StarBlazers?  That was pretty cool….not cool enough though.

The Lost City of Z (Amazon) – Action/Adventure/Biography
Rated PG-13 for violence, disturbing images, brief strong language and some nudity
Tag Line: In 1925, Percy Fawcett ventured into the Amazon in search of a myth. What he discovered became legendary.
Starring: Charlie Hunnam, Robert Pattison, Sienna Miller
Plot: A true-life drama, centering on British explorer Col. Percival Fawcett, who disappeared while searching for a mysterious city in the Amazon in the 1920s.
Running Time: 141 minutes

Chris: Now, here is some real Indiana Jones style stuff going on.  I like it!
Jim: Blessedly short and to the point,  a trailer that actually makes me want to see the movie.

A Quiet Passion (Music Box Films) – Biography/Drama
Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, disturbing images and brief suggestive material
Tag Line: None
Starring: Cynthia Nixon, Jennifer Ehle
Plot: The story of American poet Emily Dickinson from her early days as a young schoolgirl to her later years as a reclusive, unrecognized artist.
Running Time: 125 minutes

Jim: One of those movies that looks tasteful and well-acted and will probably win an award somewhere. But there will always be a part of me that screams “No!” at the prospect of seeing a movie where people sit around in immaculate drawing rooms.
Chris: Finely cut trailer, but I have zero interest, as I am clearly not the target audience.

Tickets Purchased: Two for The Lost City of Z (Jim and Chris) and One for The Fate of the Furious (Jessica)

Lost

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Trailer Snark (November 23, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Moana (Disney) – Animation/Family
Rated PG for peril, some scary images and brief thematic elements
Tag Line: The ocean is calling.
Starring: Auli’i Cravalho, Dwayne Johnson
Plot: A young woman uses her navigational talents to set sail for a fabled island. Joining her on the adventure is her hero, the legendary demi-god Maui.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Jim: Looks like good, solid Disney fun with the added bonus of dreaming of warmer climates.
Chris: Got to admit….this looks fun! All that is missing is a surfing penguin…Oops.  Sorry Disney.

Bad Santa 2 (Broad Green) – Comedy
Rated R for crude sexual content and language throughout, and some graphic nudity
Tag Line: Giving the holidays another shot.
Starring:  Billy Bob Thornton, Kathy Bates
Plot: Fueled by cheap whiskey, greed and hatred, Willie teams up once again with his angry little sidekick, Marcus, to knock off a Chicago charity on Christmas Eve.
Running Time: 92 minutes

Chris:  One of the more disappointing naughty comedies of its time when the first one came out a few years back, I won’t be in a rush to hop down the same chimney.
Jim: I HATED HATED HATED the original, shame on you Billy Bob, no way, not even after 75 egg nogs.

Lion (The Weinstein Company) – Drama
Rated PG-13 for thematic material and some sensuality.
Tag Line: The search begins.
Starring:  Rooney Mara, Nicole Kidman, Dev Patel
Plot: A five-year-old Indian boy gets lost on the streets of Calcutta, thousands of kilometers from home. He survives many challenges before being adopted by a couple in Australia; 25 years later, he sets out to find his lost family.
Running Time: 120 minutes

Jim: Certainly looks well made, but not much interest here, I’m afraid (Hey, this sounds like a review from Dr. Seuss. I wonder which films would have taken his abuse?).
Chris: Well, I am going to have to be in the right mood for this one.  And that is not this week.

Allied (Paramount) – Action/Drama/Romance
Rated R for violence, some sexuality/nudity, language and brief drug use
Tag Line: The closer he gets, the more dangerous it becomes.
Starring:  Brad Pitt, Vincent Ebrahim, Marion Cottilard
Plot: In 1942, an intelligence officer in North Africa encounters a female French Resistance fighter on a deadly mission behind enemy lines. When they reunite in London, their relationship is tested by the pressures of war.
Running Time: 124 minutes

Chris:  World War II intrigue-filled drama with strong cast. Viva la resistance!
Jim: From Robert Zemeckis, an old Hollywood pro, comes this epic adventure, one to which I will go.

Rules Don’t Apply (20th Century Fox) – Comedy/Drama/Romance
Rated PG-13 for sexual material including brief strong language, thematic elements, and drug references
Tag Line: None
Starring: Lily Collins, Haley Bennett, Taissa Farmiga, Paul Sorvino, Warren Beatty
Plot: An unconventional love story of an aspiring actress, her determined driver, and the eccentric billionaire who they work for.
Running Time: 126 minutes

Jim: Looks rather spry. So does Beatty, who next year will be 80. My, how the time does go by.
Chris: Quite the ensemble!  I’d watch this one on the small screen.

Tickets Purchased:  Two for Allied (Chris/Jim) and One for Rules Don’t Apply (Jim goes double-dipping!)

Fun Fact:  Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt starred in the remake of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, a movie about husband and wife spies hired to kill each other by competing agencies.  The original came out during the height of WWII.  Recently while filming WWII drama Allied, Brad and Angelina are once again reprising their roles as they head to divorce.
Fun Fact: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt starred in the remake of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, a movie about husband and wife spies hired to kill each other by competing agencies. The original came out during the height of WWII. Recently while filming WWII drama Allied, Brad and Angelina are once again reprising their roles as they head to divorce.

 

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Trailer Snark (June 17, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week:  The Conjuring 2 was a hit at the box office with $40.3M last weekend, and topping the list.  In an unusual (of late) turn, the next two entries were also debuts with Warcraft pulling in $24.3M and Now You See Me 2 taking in $23M.  Fourth place was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:  Out of the Shadows ($14.8M/$61M), and fifth place belonged to X-Men: Apocalypse ($10M/$136.3M).  The rest of the top ten were as follows:  Me Before You ($9.2/$36.8M), Angry Birds ($6.8M/$98.1M), Alice Through the Looking Glass ($5.5/$62.4M), Captain America:  Civil War ($4.3M/$396.8M), and The Jungle Book ($2.7M/$352.6M).  Let’s look ahead to this weekend!

Finding Dory (Disney/Pixar) – Family
Rated PG for mild thematic elements
Tag Line: Have you seen her?
Starring: Ellen Degeneres, Ed O’Neil, Albert Brooks
Plot: The friendly-but-forgetful blue tang fish reunites with her loved ones, and everyone learns a few things about the real meaning of family along the way.
Running Time: 97 minutes

Jessica: I liked Nemo okay, I don’t really care about Dory. I am sure people will enjoy it though.
Chris:  Mine?  Mine? Mine?  Yes, all mine and it’s about time.
Jim: Nemo is a classic. It’s Pixar. Most likely another classic.
Ken: The lovable Dory stole the show in the original Finding Nemo. Expect more Pixar cuteness and hilarity from the sequel.

Central Intelligence (Warner Bros) – Comedy
Rated PG-13 for crude and suggestive humor, some nudity, action violence and brief strong language
Tag Line: Saving the world takes a little Hart and a big Johnson.
Starring:  Kevin Hart, Dwayne Johnson
Plot: After he reunites with an old school pal through Facebook, a mild-mannered accountant is lured into the world of international espionage.
Running Time: 114 minutes

Ken: Feels like a pretty cookie cutter buddy cop movie. Love the Rock and Hart though, so I might rent this one later.
Jim: Looks like an enjoyably dumb time-waster.
Chris: I laughed a lot in the trailer.  Kevin Hart is a favorite of mine.  And who doesn’t love the Rock?
Jessica: NO THANK YOU. Looks really, really, REALLY dumb.

Swiss Army Man (A24) – Adventure/Comedy/Drama
Rated R for language and sexual material
Tag Line: We all need some body to lean on.
Starring: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Daniel Radcliffe
Plot: A hopeless man stranded in the wilderness befriends a dead body and together they go on a surreal journey to get home.
Running Time: 95 minutes

Jessica: I don’t know … I just … Ugh … This movie makes me feel icky.
Ken: Daniel Radcliff makes Wilson look like a piece of crap. So bizarre that I might have to check this one out.
Jim: Huh?

Chris: *Yawn*

Clown (Dimension) – Horror/Fantasy
Rated R for horror violence and gore, and for language
Tag Line: The kids aren’t alright.
Starring: Andy Powers, Laura Allen
Plot: A loving father finds a clown suit for his son’s birthday party, only to realize that it is not a suit at all.
Running Time: 100 minutes

Chris:  Couldn’t find a distributor for two years?  It does not paint the whole picture, but I am not encouraged.
Jessica: NO WAY EVER. I hate frackin’ clowns. Now and forever until the end of time.
Ken: Aqua Team Hunger Force already did this in the classic episode, “The Clowning”.
Jim: This could be a good scary movie underneath the terrible trailer.

Tickets Purchased:  Two for Finding Dory (Chris and Jim) and Jessica stays home with Orange is the New Black

She may be simple, but we share the same passions.
She may be simple, but we share the same passions.