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Trailer Snark (February 24, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Get Out (Universal) – Horror/Mystery
Rated R for violence, bloody images, and language including sexual references
Tag Line: None
Starring: Daniel Kaluuya, Allison Williams
Plot: A young African-American man visits his Caucasian girlfriend’s mysterious family estate.
Running time: 103 minutes

Jim: How I have come to hate horror movie trailers (as much as I love good horror movies). They’re boring, cliched, and so “Oooh, look what we’re gonna scare you with now! Isn’t this scary??” That said, the plot of this had me intrigued. A creepy movie might be lurking under this ho-hum trailer.
Chris:  I was honestly waiting for the punchline to reveal this to be some kind of spoof movie.  Pretty underwhelming.

Collide (Open Road Films) –  Action/Thriller
Rated PG-13 for violence, frenetic action, some sexuality, language, and drug material
Tag Line: How far would you go for love?
Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Felicity Jones, Anthony Hopkins, Ben Kingsley
Plot: An American backpacker gets involved with a ring of drug smugglers as their driver, though he winds up on the run from his employers across Cologne high-speed Autobahn.
Running Time: 99 minutes

Chris: I think Anthony Hopkins and Ben Kingsley lost a bet to Nicholas Cage and Bruce Willis to star in this movie.
Jim: <Yawn> Looks like The Firm with cars.

Rock Dog (Summit Entertainment) – Animated/Family
Rated PG for action and language
Tag Line: A new breed of rock star.
Starring: Luke Wilson, Eddie Izzard
Plot: When a radio falls from the sky into the hands of a wide-eyed Tibetan Mastiff, he leaves home to fulfill his dream of becoming a musician, setting into motion a series of completely unexpected events.
Running Time: 80 minutes

Jim: Has kind of a secondhand look to it. Second-tier animation with been-there done-that gags. Pass.
Chris:  Does this dog know how to rock and roll over?  Was that a weak pun?  Yeah.  About as weak as that trailer.

Bitter Harvest (Roadside Attractions) – Drama/Romance/War
Rated R for violence and disturbing images
Tag Line: Soviet Union. 1933. Stalin’s tyranny could destroy their country. But not their love.
Starring: Max Irons, Samantha Barks, Barry Pepper
Plot: Set in 1930s Ukraine, as Stalin advances the ambitions of communists in the Kremlin, young artist Yuri battles to save his lover Natalka from the Holodomor, the death-by-starvation program that ultimately killed millions of Ukrainians.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Chris:  A pre-WWII era of history that has not received enough attention in film.  Historical set pieces are a favorite of mine.  Looks solid!
Jim: Reeks of a movie that’s “good for you.”

As You Are (Votiv Films) – Drama/Mystery
Not Rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: Owen Campbell, Charlie Heaton, Amanda Stenberg
Plot: Set in the early 1990’s, “As You Are” is the telling and retelling of a relationship between three teenagers as it traces the course of their friendship through a construction of disparate memories prompted by a police investigation.
Running Time: 110 minutes

Jim: Now THIS is the way to make a trailer. Hope the movie is as good.
Chris: Definitely made me want to see what the heck happened to the characters in the story.  I agree with Jim that this is the way you cut a trailer and get some attention.  Cheers!

Punching Henry (Well Go USA) – Comedy
Not Rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: Henry Phillips, J.K. Simmons, Sarah Silverman, Tig Notaro
Plot: Hapless satirical songwriter Henry Phillips is lured to LA when a veteran TV producer decides to make a show about the life of a loser.
Running Time: 95 minutes

Chris: This looks like a whole lot of I don’t give a crap.
Jim: What is it about this trailer? Didn’t it seem like it was bored with itself? If it weren’t for JK Simmons, I think I would have nodded off halfway through.

Tickets Purchased:  One for As You Are (Jim) and one for Bitter Harvest (Chris)

Get Out would probably be more successful if the Wayans Brothers wrote it.
Get Out would probably be more successful if the Wayans Brothers wrote it.
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Trailer Snark (January 6, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

And now to kick off 2017!

Underworld: Blood Wars (Screen Gems) – Action/Horror
Rated R for strong bloody violence, and some sexuality
Tag Line: Protect the bloodline.
Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Theo James
Plot: Vampire death dealer, Selene (Kate Beckinsale) fights to end the eternal war between the Lycan clan and the Vampire faction that betrayed her.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Jessica: I think they need to stop with these movies. The first one was great, but they kind of lost me after. I think I was bored with the endless gun battles. They’re vampires and werewolves, they should have freakin MYSTICAL powers, why do they need so many guns!!!!!????
Jim: I was so bored by this trailer I could barely remember it 10 seconds after I watched it.
Chris: I liked the original, but the sequels have left me cold.  And I can’t help but think of Milla Jovovich from Resident Evil when I see Kate Beckinsale do her butt kicking in leather bit.  Wait for the small screen!

A Monster Calls (Focus Features) – Drama/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for thematic content and some scary images
Tag Line: Stories are wild creatures.
Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Felicity Jones, Lewis MacDougall
Plot: A boy seeks the help of a tree monster to cope with his single mom’s terminal illness.
Running Time: 108 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvZrnt9b7vU
Chris: It’s about time that Liam Neeson does the taking.  This flick seems to be a nice escape from the post-Christmas winter blues.
Jessica: This really looks fantastic. I was intrigued, I admit it. Totally something I’d watch.
Jim: This looks like a winner for sure, captivating and magical.

I, Daniel Blake (Sundance Selects) – Drama
Rated R for language
Tag Line: None
Starring: Dave Johns, Hayley Squires
Plot: A middle aged carpenter who requires state welfare after injuring himself, is joined by a single mother in a similar scenario.
Running Time: 100 minutes

Jim: Wow, does this look gripping! I’d rush out and see it now if I didn’t think I’d spend 2 hours sitting there and getting pissed off.
Chris: I feel the righteous anger awakening.
Jessica: As great as Daniel Blake looks, I’m not really sure that I’d get much pleasure out of it. On a pure enjoyment level, I’d go with A Monster Calls. Happy New Year!

Tickets Purchased:  3 for A Monster Calls!

A Unanimous Trailer Snark Decision!
A Unanimous Trailer Snark Decision!
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Trailer Snark (December 23, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

The Trailer Snark team is taking a break for Christmas, so this week’s edition will be without commentary.  Happy Holidays!

Passengers (Columbia) – Sci-Fi/Drama/Adventure
Rated PG-13 for sexuality, nudity and action/peril
Tag Line:  Every moment counts.
Starring:  Jennifer Lawrence, Chris Pratt
Plot: A spacecraft traveling to a distant colony planet and transporting thousands of people has a malfunction in its sleep chambers. As a result, two passengers are awakened 90 years early.
Running Time: 116 minutes

Sing (Universal) – Animation/Family
Rated PG for some rude humor and mild peril
Tag Line: Auditions begin 2016.
Starring:  Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon, Seth McFarlane
Plot: A koala named Buster Moon has one final chance to restore his theater to its former glory by producing the world’s greatest singing competition.
Running Time: 108 minutes

A Monster Calls (Focus Features) – Drama/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for thematic content and some scary images
Tag Line: Stories are wild creatures.
Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Felicity Jones, Lewis MacDougall
Plot: A boy seeks the help of a tree monster to cope with his single mom’s terminal illness.
Running Time: 108 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvZrnt9b7vU

Fences (Paramount) – Drama
Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, language and some suggestive references
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Denzell Washington, Viola Davis
Plot: An African-American father struggles with race relations in the United States while trying to raise his family in the 1950s and coming to terms with the events of his life.
Running Time: 138 minutes

Silence (Paramount) – Drama/History
Rated R for some disturbing violent content
Tag Line: Sometimes silence is the deadliest sound.
Starring: Andrew Garfield, Adam Driver, Liam Neeson
Plot: In the seventeenth century, two Jesuit priests face violence and persecution when they travel to Japan to locate their mentor and propagate Catholicism.
Running Time: 161 minutes

Assassin’s Creed (Twentieth Century Fox) – Action/Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, thematic elements and brief strong language
Tag Line: Your destiny is in your blood.
Starring: Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons
Plot: When Callum Lynch explores the memories of his ancestor Aguilar and gains the skills of a Master Assassin, he discovers he is a descendant of the secret Assassins society.
Running Time: 115 minutes

Why Him? (Twentieth Century Fox) – Comedy
Rated R for strong language and sexual material throughout
Tag Line:  Of all the guys his daughter could have chosen….
Starring:  Bryan Cranston, James Franco, Zoey Deutch
Plot: A holiday gathering threatens to go off the rails when Ned Fleming realizes that his daughter’s Silicon Valley billionaire boyfriend is about to pop the question.
Running Time: 111 minutes

Patriots Day (Lionsgate) – Drama/History/Thriller
Rated R for violence, realistically graphic injury images, language throughout and some drug use
Tag Line: The inside story of the world’s greatest manhunt.
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Michelle Monoghan, John Goodman, J.K. Simmons
Plot: An account of Boston Police Commissioner Ed Davis’s actions in the events leading up to the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing and the aftermath, which includes the city-wide manhunt to find the terrorists behind it.
Running Time: 133 minutes

Merry Christmas from the Trailer Snark Team!
Merry Christmas from the Trailer Snark Team!
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Trailer Snark (December 16, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Rogue One (Disney) – SciFi/Action
Rated PG-13 for extended sequences of sci-fi violence and action
Tag Line: Save the rebellion. Save the dream.
Starring: Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Forrest Whitaker
Plot: The Rebellion makes a risky move to steal the plans for the Death Star, setting up the epic saga to follow.
Running Time: 134 minutes

Rob: #$%^ yeah baby!  Finally!!!  It doesn’t take a Jedi Master to recognize that The Force will be strong with this one.  I have secured two sets of tickets for sneak previews to kick off the viewings.  I am upset at the quantity of reshooting that is rumored to have taken place because the film was allegedly too dark.  We need a dark Star Wars film.  This film screams out for the Dark Side.  The Empire has the galaxy in a death grip during this particular period of time.  It’s time for the bothan bodies to hit the floor!  Fear.  Anger.  Hate.  Suffering.  And, yes….a sliver of hope, the spark of Rebellion.
Jessica: Yes. Yes. YES! Im seeing this in IMAX as a birthday gift. I cannot wait and I am super super duper stoked!
Chris:  Adventure. Excitement.  A Jedi craves not these things.  I ain’t no Jedi.  Bring it on baby!

Collateral Beauty (Warner Bros) – Drama
Rated PG-13 for thematic elements and brief strong language
Tag Line: We are all connected.
Starring: Will Smith, Edward Norton, Kate Winslet, Keira Knightley
Plot: Retreating from life after a tragedy, a man questions the universe by writing to Love, Time and Death. Receiving unexpected answers, he begins to see how these things interlock and how even loss can reveal moments of meaning and beauty.
Running Time: 97 minutes

Chris: A fantastic cast and a pull at the heartstrings won’t prevent me from staying on target.
Rob: It’s not Rogue One.
Jessica: This looks like a really lovely, heart-warming story, but it’s got nothing on Rogue One! I would watch this at home though.

A Kind of Murder (Magnolia) – Drama/Thriller
Rated R for language and some violence
Tag Line: None
Starring: Haley Bennett, Jessica Biel, Patrick Wilson
Plot: In 1960s New York, Walter Stackhouse is a successful architect married to the beautiful Clara who leads a seemingly perfect life. But his fascination with an unsolved murder leads him into a spiral of chaos as he is forced to play cat-and-mouse with a clever killer and an overambitious detective, while at the same time lusting after another woman.
Running Time: 95 minutes

Jessica: Can’t even deal with this, it’s not Rogue One.
Chris: Meh…..maybe on Netflix.  A less thrilling thriller it would seem.
Rob: This is also not Rogue One.

Solace (Grindstone Entertainment) – Crime/Drama/Mystery
Rated R for violence and bloody images throughout, sexuality, nudity and language
Tag Line: How do you stop a killer who can read your mind?
Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Abbie Cornish, Colin Farrell
Plot: A psychic works with the FBI in order to hunt down a serial killer.
Running Time: 101 minutes

Rob: Also a movie not worthy of my attention this week because it’s not Rogue One…  But wait!  Dr. Robert Ford (Anthony Hopkins), Detective Velcoro (Colin Farrell), & $%^*ing Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan)!?!?!? Ok, you have my attention for a couple minutes.  Looks decent I suppose.  A possible rental down the road.
Jessica: Oh Dr. Ford, love you, but not Rogue One, don’t care.
Chris: This movie has been sitting on a shelf for over a year looking for a distributor.  Not sure how this bodes for the film, especially since they are dumping it into the same release week as the new Star Wars.

Tickets Purchased: It’s unanimous, as if you thought any different!

See what we did there?
See what we did there?
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Trailer Snark (October 28, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Inferno (Columbia Pictures) – Drama/Thriller
Rated PG-13 for sequences of action and violence, disturbing images, some language, thematic elements and brief sensuality
Tag Line: The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons were just the beginning
Starring: Tom Hanks, Felicity Jones
Plot: When Robert Langdon wakes up in an Italian hospital with amnesia, he teams up with Dr. Sienna Brooks, and together they must race across Europe against the clock to foil a deadly global plot.
Running Time: 121 minutes

Rob: I enjoy Dan Brown’s books, but I’m not sold on this one.  Something seems off with Hanks’ acting in the trailer, and normally I think he’s quite good.  Then again, it has almost no competition this week and features the lovely Felicity Jones aka Jyn Erso….
Jessica: I read a bunch of Dan Brown’s books awhile back and they are entertaining, though formulaic, and Tom Hanks is the worst casting (as much as I adore him) for this role. Not to mention I find these movies to be dull and I agree, something is just off! Pass.
Jim: I like Dan Brown’s books, but I thought the movie version of Davinci Code was glum and plodding. It made me wish for the “funny” Tom Hanks. This looks like more of the same.
Chris: Never a fan of this series to be honest.  Both The DaVinci Code and Angels & Demons left me cold in spite of the popularity of the books and the star power on screen. 

Gimme Danger (Magnolia Pictures) – Documentary
Rated R for drug content and language
Tag Line: None
Starring: Iggy Pop, Ron Asheton
Plot: An in-depth look at the legendary punk band, The Stooges.
Running Time: 108 minutes

Chris:  Iggy Pop doesn’t need to wear a Halloween mask.
Rob: The Stooges have a sound that stands out in musical history, and I’ll definitely watch this….just not on the big screen.
Jessica: Love The Stooges, but I don’t do documentaries in the theater!
Jim: Wow. Not one, but two documentaries this week featuring bands I know pretty much nothing about. Maybe here’s my chance. For those who’re into them, enjoy! They both look good.

Oasis: Supersonic (A24) – Documentary
Rated R for pervasive language and some drug material
Tag Line: None
Starring: Liam Gallagher, Noel Gallagher
Plot: An in-depth look at the life and music of Manchester-based rock band, Oasis.
Running Time: 122 minutes

Jim: See my previous comment.
Chris: No wonder on that cinematic wall for me.
Rob: Although this one holds less appeal than Gimme Danger for me, it’s another flick I would stream. 
Jessica: I HATE OASIS.

Tickets Purchased:  None….that’s right.  No one on the team is inspired by this week’s lineup.  We’ll all be taking our popcorn bowls to the couch for a weekend of scary Halloween fare, and saving our money for next week perhaps?

We'll just be chilling on the couch with a good movie.
We’ll just be chilling on the couch with a good movie.