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Trailer Snark (December 16, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Rogue One (Disney) – SciFi/Action
Rated PG-13 for extended sequences of sci-fi violence and action
Tag Line: Save the rebellion. Save the dream.
Starring: Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Forrest Whitaker
Plot: The Rebellion makes a risky move to steal the plans for the Death Star, setting up the epic saga to follow.
Running Time: 134 minutes

Rob: #$%^ yeah baby!  Finally!!!  It doesn’t take a Jedi Master to recognize that The Force will be strong with this one.  I have secured two sets of tickets for sneak previews to kick off the viewings.  I am upset at the quantity of reshooting that is rumored to have taken place because the film was allegedly too dark.  We need a dark Star Wars film.  This film screams out for the Dark Side.  The Empire has the galaxy in a death grip during this particular period of time.  It’s time for the bothan bodies to hit the floor!  Fear.  Anger.  Hate.  Suffering.  And, yes….a sliver of hope, the spark of Rebellion.
Jessica: Yes. Yes. YES! Im seeing this in IMAX as a birthday gift. I cannot wait and I am super super duper stoked!
Chris:  Adventure. Excitement.  A Jedi craves not these things.  I ain’t no Jedi.  Bring it on baby!

Collateral Beauty (Warner Bros) – Drama
Rated PG-13 for thematic elements and brief strong language
Tag Line: We are all connected.
Starring: Will Smith, Edward Norton, Kate Winslet, Keira Knightley
Plot: Retreating from life after a tragedy, a man questions the universe by writing to Love, Time and Death. Receiving unexpected answers, he begins to see how these things interlock and how even loss can reveal moments of meaning and beauty.
Running Time: 97 minutes

Chris: A fantastic cast and a pull at the heartstrings won’t prevent me from staying on target.
Rob: It’s not Rogue One.
Jessica: This looks like a really lovely, heart-warming story, but it’s got nothing on Rogue One! I would watch this at home though.

A Kind of Murder (Magnolia) – Drama/Thriller
Rated R for language and some violence
Tag Line: None
Starring: Haley Bennett, Jessica Biel, Patrick Wilson
Plot: In 1960s New York, Walter Stackhouse is a successful architect married to the beautiful Clara who leads a seemingly perfect life. But his fascination with an unsolved murder leads him into a spiral of chaos as he is forced to play cat-and-mouse with a clever killer and an overambitious detective, while at the same time lusting after another woman.
Running Time: 95 minutes

Jessica: Can’t even deal with this, it’s not Rogue One.
Chris: Meh…..maybe on Netflix.  A less thrilling thriller it would seem.
Rob: This is also not Rogue One.

Solace (Grindstone Entertainment) – Crime/Drama/Mystery
Rated R for violence and bloody images throughout, sexuality, nudity and language
Tag Line: How do you stop a killer who can read your mind?
Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Abbie Cornish, Colin Farrell
Plot: A psychic works with the FBI in order to hunt down a serial killer.
Running Time: 101 minutes

Rob: Also a movie not worthy of my attention this week because it’s not Rogue One…  But wait!  Dr. Robert Ford (Anthony Hopkins), Detective Velcoro (Colin Farrell), & $%^*ing Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan)!?!?!? Ok, you have my attention for a couple minutes.  Looks decent I suppose.  A possible rental down the road.
Jessica: Oh Dr. Ford, love you, but not Rogue One, don’t care.
Chris: This movie has been sitting on a shelf for over a year looking for a distributor.  Not sure how this bodes for the film, especially since they are dumping it into the same release week as the new Star Wars.

Tickets Purchased: It’s unanimous, as if you thought any different!

See what we did there?
See what we did there?
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Trailer Snark (November 23, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Moana (Disney) – Animation/Family
Rated PG for peril, some scary images and brief thematic elements
Tag Line: The ocean is calling.
Starring: Auli’i Cravalho, Dwayne Johnson
Plot: A young woman uses her navigational talents to set sail for a fabled island. Joining her on the adventure is her hero, the legendary demi-god Maui.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Jim: Looks like good, solid Disney fun with the added bonus of dreaming of warmer climates.
Chris: Got to admit….this looks fun! All that is missing is a surfing penguin…Oops.  Sorry Disney.

Bad Santa 2 (Broad Green) – Comedy
Rated R for crude sexual content and language throughout, and some graphic nudity
Tag Line: Giving the holidays another shot.
Starring:  Billy Bob Thornton, Kathy Bates
Plot: Fueled by cheap whiskey, greed and hatred, Willie teams up once again with his angry little sidekick, Marcus, to knock off a Chicago charity on Christmas Eve.
Running Time: 92 minutes

Chris:  One of the more disappointing naughty comedies of its time when the first one came out a few years back, I won’t be in a rush to hop down the same chimney.
Jim: I HATED HATED HATED the original, shame on you Billy Bob, no way, not even after 75 egg nogs.

Lion (The Weinstein Company) – Drama
Rated PG-13 for thematic material and some sensuality.
Tag Line: The search begins.
Starring:  Rooney Mara, Nicole Kidman, Dev Patel
Plot: A five-year-old Indian boy gets lost on the streets of Calcutta, thousands of kilometers from home. He survives many challenges before being adopted by a couple in Australia; 25 years later, he sets out to find his lost family.
Running Time: 120 minutes

Jim: Certainly looks well made, but not much interest here, I’m afraid (Hey, this sounds like a review from Dr. Seuss. I wonder which films would have taken his abuse?).
Chris: Well, I am going to have to be in the right mood for this one.  And that is not this week.

Allied (Paramount) – Action/Drama/Romance
Rated R for violence, some sexuality/nudity, language and brief drug use
Tag Line: The closer he gets, the more dangerous it becomes.
Starring:  Brad Pitt, Vincent Ebrahim, Marion Cottilard
Plot: In 1942, an intelligence officer in North Africa encounters a female French Resistance fighter on a deadly mission behind enemy lines. When they reunite in London, their relationship is tested by the pressures of war.
Running Time: 124 minutes

Chris:  World War II intrigue-filled drama with strong cast. Viva la resistance!
Jim: From Robert Zemeckis, an old Hollywood pro, comes this epic adventure, one to which I will go.

Rules Don’t Apply (20th Century Fox) – Comedy/Drama/Romance
Rated PG-13 for sexual material including brief strong language, thematic elements, and drug references
Tag Line: None
Starring: Lily Collins, Haley Bennett, Taissa Farmiga, Paul Sorvino, Warren Beatty
Plot: An unconventional love story of an aspiring actress, her determined driver, and the eccentric billionaire who they work for.
Running Time: 126 minutes

Jim: Looks rather spry. So does Beatty, who next year will be 80. My, how the time does go by.
Chris: Quite the ensemble!  I’d watch this one on the small screen.

Tickets Purchased:  Two for Allied (Chris/Jim) and One for Rules Don’t Apply (Jim goes double-dipping!)

Fun Fact:  Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt starred in the remake of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, a movie about husband and wife spies hired to kill each other by competing agencies.  The original came out during the height of WWII.  Recently while filming WWII drama Allied, Brad and Angelina are once again reprising their roles as they head to divorce.
Fun Fact: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt starred in the remake of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, a movie about husband and wife spies hired to kill each other by competing agencies. The original came out during the height of WWII. Recently while filming WWII drama Allied, Brad and Angelina are once again reprising their roles as they head to divorce.

 

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Trailer Snark (October 7, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

The Birth of a Nation (Fox Searchlight Pictures) – Biography/Drama
Rated R for disturbing violent content, and some brief nudity
Tag Line: None
Starring: Nate Parker, Armie Hammer, Penelope Ann Miller
Plot: Nat Turner, a literate slave and preacher in the antebellum South, orchestrates an uprising.
Running Time: 120 minutes

Chris: Emotionally stirring.  Any story that speaks to our natural God-given right for freedom sings to me.  It is in our DNA. 
Jim: Who can resist any trailer like this? There are a few genres I’d like to see put to bed, but anything with an anti-slavery message will never be included.
Jessica: Definitely a must watch in my house. Looks amazing.
Ken: I have conflicting views about this movie.  On one hand, I think this looks like a beautiful, deeply courageous and spiritual film about of a slave’s fight for humanity. On the other hand, and I know this won’t be a popular opinion, with the already abysmal state of race relations in this country today, I worry that the movie is framing violence and vengeance as a justifiable response to social injustice. Nat Turner’s rebellion murdered white men, women and children indiscriminately. Was the killing of innocents justified? Was the Dallas police shooter justified in his actions? How about Jihadists? I don’t think there are any easy answers here, which is why I can’t completely get behind this one with the rest of you.
Rob: Looks like a powerful film to say the least.  Would definitely watch on Netflix down the road.

The Girl on the Train (Universal Pictures) – Mystery/Thriller
Rated R for violence, sexual content, language and nudity
Tag Line: Based on the novel that shocked the world
Starring: Emily Blunt, Haley Bennett, Rebecca Ferguson
Plot: A divorcee becomes entangled in a missing persons investigation that promises to send shockwaves throughout her life.
Running Time: 112 minutes

Rob: Looks like a solid thriller.  Would rather read the book though.
Chris: Anyone who knows me knows that I love a good mystery.  It was true when I was a wee bit lad and fell in love with Mystery Incorporated, and remains true to this day.  Count me in.
Jim: A gripping book (better than the over-hyped Gone Girl, I thought) looks like it was made into a good move. Emily Blunt is a plus.
Jessica: I loved Gone Girl and while I haven’t read this book yet, I have heard a ton about it. It looks like a good movie too, I’m in!
Ken:  Looks thrilling. I’m on board.

Middle School:  The Worst Years of My Life (CBS Films) – Comedy
Rated PG for rude humor throughout, language and thematic elements
Tag Line: Rules aren’t for everyone.
Starring: Griffin Gluck, Lauren Graham, Alexa Nisenson
Plot: Imaginative quiet teenager Rafe Katchadorian is tired of his middle school’s obsession with the rules at the expense of any and all creativity. Desperate to shake things up, Rafe and his best friends have come up with a plan: break every single rule in the school and let the students run wild.
Running Time: 92 minutes

Ken: Listen kid, if you think that middle school is bad, just wait until you get a job. Soul. Crush.
Jessica: I can’t even stand seeing the trailers on TV. BIG PASS on this one. Looks awful.
Chris: I found myself headbanging to the trailer with the old school Twisted Sister.  Actually looks mildly humorous and worth a “Home Alone” view.
Rob: Looks kinda funny, but certainly not something I’d go see in theaters.  I also agree that Twisted Sister rocks!
Jim: I second Chris on this (unless my daughter drags me to see it).

Tickets Purchased:  Four for The Girl on the Train (Jessica, Ken, Jim, and Chris) and Rob stays home to save his hard-earned dollars for the upcoming Rogue One!

The Girl on this Train Don't Know Deadpool!
The Girl on this Train Don’t Know Deadpool!