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Trailer Snark (March 3, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Logan (Twentieth Century Fox) – Action/Drama/Sci-Fi
Rated R for strong brutal violence and language throughout, and for brief nudity
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Hugh Jackman, Patrick Steward, Dafne Keen
Plot: In the near future, a weary Logan cares for an ailing Professor X in a hide out on the Mexican border. But Logan’s attempts to hide from the world and his legacy are up-ended when a young mutant arrives, being pursued by dark forces.
Running Time: 137 minutes

Jessica: The Apocalypse XMen movie lost me, but this looks really good. I love the idea of an old Logan and it looks dark and gritty, my two least favorite superhero adjectives, but it’s appealing to me, I cannot lie!
Chris: The advanced buzz on this movie has been crazy good, and the trailer kicked me in the rear and got my attention.  I am certain High Jackman will be leaving the role that he has made his own on a very high note.

Before I Fall (Open Road Films) – Drama/Mystery
Rated PG-13 for mature thematic content involving drinking, sexuality, bullying, some violent images, and language-all involving teens.
Tag Line: What if today was the only day for the rest of your life?
Starring: Zoey Deutch, Halston Sage, Jennifer Beals
Plot: February 12 is just another day in Sam’s charmed life until it turns out to be her last. Stuck reliving her last day over one inexplicable week, Sam untangles the mystery around her death and discovers everything she’s in danger of losing.
Running Time: 99 minutes

Jessica: Interesting idea. Like a morbid teenage angsty Groundhog Day. Hmmm.
Chris:  Darnit Jess….you stole my Groundhog Day comparison.  Tweens will be all over this.  All that is missing is some 90’s era “I hate my life grunge music.”

Table 19 (Fox Searchlight) – Drama/Comedy
Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, sexual content, drug use, language and some brief nudity
Tag Line: You are invited to the wedding of the season.
Starring: Anna Kendrick, Craig Robinson, Lisa Kudrow
Plot: Ex-maid of honor Eloise, having been relieved of her duties after being unceremoniously dumped by the best man via text, decides to attend the wedding anyway only to find herself seated with 5 “random” guests at the dreaded Table 19.
Running Time: 87 minutes

Chris: I like the concept of this one.  Anyone who has planned a wedding can certainly see the humor.  Will catch it at RedBox in a few months.
Jessica: I really enjoy Anna K. and the rest of the cast are pretty solid low-key comedy talents, looks funny, watch at home fare.

The Shack (Summit Entertainment) – Drama/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for thematic material including some violence
Tag Line: You’re never as alone as you think.
Starring: Sam Worthington, Octavia Spencer, Tim McGraw, Radha Mitchell
Plot: A grieving man receives a mysterious, personal invitation to meet with God at a place called “The Shack.”
Running Time: 132 minutes

Chris: I read this book a few years back, and enjoyed it.  Harmed children is always tough material to digest.  Pretty good cast in this one though, and worth a look down the road.
Jessica:  *crickets*

The Last Word (Bleecker Street Media) – Drama/Comedy
Rated R for language.
Tag Line: An unexpected friendship that begins at the end
Starring: Shirley MacLaine, Amanda Seyfried
Plot: Harriet is a retired businesswoman who tries to control everything around her. When she decides to write her own obituary, a young journalist takes up the task of finding out the truth resulting in a life-altering friendship.
Running Time: 108 minutes

Jessica:  I do love Shirley McClaine so I’d watch this at home, though it looks a bit like “chick flick” fare.
Chris: Came in expecting to not like it, but actually found it to be a bit charming.  I mean, not get me to the theater charming, but I could see myself watching it with the wife, and joking with her that this could be a vision of her future.  😉

Donald Cried (The Orchard) – Comedy/Drama
Not Rated
Tag Line: Some people can take a hint. And some people are Donald.
Starring: Jesse Wakeman, Louisa Krause
Plot: With sudden passing of his grandmother, Peter Latang returns to his hometown and encounters his long lost, childhood friend, Donald Treebeck. What begins as a simple favor, turns into a long day’s journey into the past.
Running Time: 85 minutes

Chris: Talk about trainwreck friendships!  LOL.  Cringeworthy pathos was a phrase within the trailer, and it fits perfectly. 
Jessica: Um, what the heck? Not sure about this one, looks funny and scary.

Wolves (IFC Films) – Drama
Not Rated
Tag Line: You ready to rise up?
Starring: Michael Shannon, Taylor John Smith
Plot: An 18-year-old basketball star who is being recruited by Cornell University seems to have it all figured out: captain of his team, a good student, has a longtime girlfriend and some good friends. But at home he’s struggling with his troubled father who has a gambling addiction. His mother tries to keep the family afloat but does so with great emotional and financial sacrifice.
Running Time: 109 minutes

Jessica: I adore Michael Shannon, he’s so solid so I’d watch this on the power of his name alone, but the rest of the story looks pretty compelling as well. Another watch at home film though.
Chris: I agree with Jess that Michael Shannon is a fine actor, and this could be an understated gem.  It just won’t find its audience on the big screen, I am almost certain.

Tickets Purchased:  Two for Logan

Farewell Hugh. You were a better Logan than the movies you starred in.
Farewell Hugh. You were a better Logan than the movies you starred in.
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Trailer Snark (February 26 2016) Theatrical Trailers

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Ryan Reynolds and Fox are celebrating their second straight week at number one as Deadpool captured another $55M at the Box Office and has now earned $235.3M domestic.  Kung Fu Panda 3 continued to get the kiddies to the cinema with $12.5M to add to its $117.1M total.  The highest debut of the week came from Risen with $11.8M.  Period horror piece, The Witch, debuted at number four with $8.6M.  How to Be Single fell to number five ($8.2M/$31.7M).  The only other debut in the top ten was Race at number six with $7.2M.  The rest of the list went as follows:  Zoolander 2 ($5.5M/$23.7M), Star Wars: The Force Awakens ($3.8M/$921.6M), The Revenant ($3.8M/$165.1M), and Hail, Caesar ($2.6M/$26.1M).  Its a short list of releases this week, but lets get down to it.

Gods of Egypt (Lionsgate) – Action/Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for fantasy violence and action, and some sexuality
Tag Line: The journey of a lifetime begins.
Starring:  Gerard Butler, Brenton Thwaits
Plot: Mortal hero Bek teams with the god Horus in an alliance against Set, the merciless god of darkness who has usurped Egypt’s throne, plunging the once peaceful and prosperous empire into chaos and conflict.
Running Time: 127 minutes

Rob: High on visual effects and eye candy.  Worried about lack of story.  Renter.
Ken: Gods awful.
Jim: Yawn.
Chris:  I’d rather sit on the top of a pyramid.

Eddie the Eagle (20th Century Fox) – Biography/Sports/Drama
Rated PG-13 for some suggestive material, partial nudity and smoking
Tag Line: Landing in cinemas April 1
Starring: Taron Egerton, Hugh Jackman, Tom Costello, Jr.
Plot: The story of Eddie Edwards, the notoriously tenacious British underdog ski jumper who charmed the world at the 1988 Winter Olympics.
Running Time: 105 minutes

Chris:  A very charming trailer, and certainly a contender…pun very much intended.
Rob: The story of an unlikely Olympian.  I’d watch it for fun and more for my love of an underdog, but not on the big screen.
Ken: What sports fan doesn’t love a good underdog story? And it looks funny to boot.
Jim: Looks like a great, humorous story with the always entertaining Hugh Jackman.

Triple 9 (Open Road Films) – Crime/Thriller
Rated R for strong violence and language throughout, drug use and some nudity
Tag Line: The code on the street is never black and white.
Starring:  Casey Affleck, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Woody Harrelson
Plot: A gang of criminals and corrupt cops plan the murder of a police officer in order to pull off their biggest heist yet across town.
Running Time: 115 minutes

Jim: Yawn II
Chris: I love a good cop thriller movie.  And this one appears to be a promising one.
Rob: A decent looking cops & robbers thriller.  Decent doesn’t get me to the big screen though…
Ken: Love me a good heist movie. Pretty loaded cast too.

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny (The Weinstein Company)
Rated PG-13 for martial arts violence and brief partial nudity
Tag Line: The past returns with a vengeance.
Starring: Donnie Yen, Michelle Yeoh, Jason Scott Lee
Plot: A story of lost love, young love, a legendary sword and one last opportunity at redemption.
Running Time: 96 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5ixd2ZRRpE
Rob: Limited IMAX release, but nothing near us.  Bummer!  But it’s a Netflix original so I can watch from the comfort of my own home.  Score!  Few films have been as visually stunning  as Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.  Ang Lee delivered a masterpiece in 2001, but can Woo-ping Yuen do the same today?  Michelle Yeoh is reprising her role, so we can expect more amazing martial arts and solid acting on that front.  The trailer definitely has me excited to see if they can deliver once more.
Ken: Yup, what Rob said. I’m surprised that a sequel hadn’t been made before. Getting Netflix was the best decision I’ve ever made.
Jim: The first was one of Ang Lee’s amazing films. Based on the trailer, this looks like it keeps the bar high. Always worth watching Michelle Yeoh, count me in.
Chris:  Time to get all Martial Artsy!

Tickets Purchased:  3 for Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (Jim, Ken, and Rob)…of course, you won’t be paying for any tickets watching it at home on your Netflix! Damn Kids!  1 for Triple 9 (Chris).

Oh, you said Martial....not Marital!
Oh, you said Martial….not Marital!
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Trailer Snark (October 9, 2015 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: MATT DAMON!  The Martian takes the top prize with the second biggest October opening ever with $55M.  Hotel Transylvania 2 was in second with a substantial $33M haul and $90M overall.  Sicario, which went wide this past week, took third place ($12M/$15M).  The Intern was fourth ($11.6M/$36.5M) and fifth place belonged to Maze Runner: Scorch Trials ($7.6M/$63.2M).  The bottom half of the top ten was as follows: Black Mass ($5.9M/$52.5M), Everest ($5.5M/$33.1M), The Visit ($3.9M/$57.6M), War Room ($2.8M/$60.5M), and The Perfect Guy ($2.4M/$52.6M).  And now, let’s take a look at what is in theaters this weekend…..

Pan (Warner Bros) – Family/Adventure
Rated PG for fantasy action violence, language and some thematic material
Tag Line: In the beginning… he was the enemy.
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Levi Miller, Rooney Mara, Amanda Seyfried
Plot: 12-year-old orphan Peter is spirited away to the magical world of Neverland, where he finds both fun and dangers, and ultimately discovers his destiny — to become the hero who will be forever known as Peter Pan.
Running Time: 111 minutes

Rob: Looks ok, perhaps even good, but nobody can hold a candle to the animated classic from where I stand.  May catch it on rental down the road.
Chris: I remember going to see Hook with my family, and loathing every minute.  Perhaps this incarnation will bring the live action Peter Pan some redemption in my eyes?
Ken: You don’t mess with the classics by trotting out a contrived origin story bedazzled in CGI. If the reviews are good I may check it out when it comes out on digital, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Pan gets panned.
Jessica: Don’t make me watch this again, I really have an intense dislike for this movie from the trailers. It looks boring and I think a lot of people are just sick of Peter Pan. All set with this one.

Big Stone Gap (ArtAffects Entertainment) – Romance/Comedy
Rated PG – 13 for brief suggestive material
Tag Line: Small town. Big heart.
Starring: Ashley Judd, Patrick Wilson, Whoopi Goldberg, and Jenna Elfman
Plot: In a small town nestled in the Appalachian Mountains of Virginia, self-proclaimed spinster Ave Maria Mulligan finds her life shaken up and forever changed after learning a long-buried family secret.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Jessica: What? I think I fell asleep watching this trailer.
Rob: Well, it has Jenna Elfman.  There ends the positive.
Chris: Run….run fast…away from the theater.
Ken: I tuned out after about 10 seconds.

The Final Girls (Vertical Entertainment) – Comedy/Horror
Rated PG – 13 for horror violence, some crude and sexual material, language and drug use
Tag Line: None
Starring: Taissa Farmiga, Malin Akerman, Adam Devine, and Nin Dobrev
Plot: A young woman grieving the loss of her mother, a famous scream queen from the 1980s, finds herself pulled into the world of her mom’s most famous movie. Reunited, the women must fight off the film’s maniacal killer.
Running Time: 88 minutes

Ken: Scream and Scary Movie had a hipster child.
Jessica: I just don’t … I can’t figure out if this is total crap or really clever. That leaves me feeling like I wouldn’t want to be the “final girl” (can we please stop calling WOMEN, GIRLS??? I know that seems dumb to some people but for pete’s sake, you stop being a girl somewhere around 18 – WOMEN. THEY ARE WOMEN. I feel very “meh” about this movie.
Rob: Horror comedy combo.  Not likely to see this one, but if I do it wont be on the big screen.
Chris: Looks mildly amusing….but far more likely to be a Netflix or DVD small screen venture.

Knock Knock (Lionsgate) – Horror/Mystery
Rated R for disturbing violent behavior, strong sexual content, nudity and language
Tag Line:  One night can cost you everything.
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Lorenza Izzo, and Ana de Armas
Plot: When a devoted husband and father is left home alone for the weekend, two stranded young women unexpectedly knock on his door for help. What starts out as a kind gesture results in a dangerous seduction and a deadly game of cat and mouse.

Rob: Who’s There?  Keanu.  Keanu Who?  Exactly.  Two psych girls seduce, torture, and kill Keanu?  Weird.
Chris: I bet Keanu had wished he entered the Matrix instead.  I know…that was week, but Rob stole my knock knock joke.
Ken: I’m scaroused.
Jessica: As much as I genuinely like Keanu Reeves, my stomach turns at the idea that no man can resist boffing two co-eds. I just don’t buy it and I’ll probably skip this one.

Steve Jobs (Universal) – Biography/Drama
Rated R for language
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Michael Fassbender, Kate Winslet, Seth Rogen, Jeff Daniels
Plot: Set backstage at three iconic product launches and ending in 1998 with the unveiling of the iMac, Steve Jobs takes us behind the scenes of the digital revolution to paint a portrait of the man at its epicenter.
Running Time: 122 minutes

Chris: I am torn.  I typically do not get into celebrity behind the scenes fare.  There is, however, a compelling story here about the inception of a life-changing tech company, but how much of the personal story do we have to endure that may or may not be a reflection of the truth?
Rob: Man or monster?  How will the film ultimately paint one of our fallen technological icons?  Will it be accurate?  I’m not sure, but I’d like to find out.
Jessica: I have the book this is based on and haven’t read it yet, I find Jobs fascinating but I’m not fascinated to see yet another film about this guy.
Ken: The man, the myth, the monster? The second Jobs biopic in as many years, Steve Jobs the movie paints a complex portrait of one of the great innovators of our generation.

Trash (Focus World) – Adventure/Comedy/Crime
Rated R for violence and language
Tag Line: You never know what you might find.
Starring: Rickson Tevez, Rooney Mara, Martin Sheen
Plot: Set in Brazil, three kids who make a discovery in a garbage dump soon find themselves running from the cops and trying to right a terrible wrong.
Running Time: 114 minutes

Ken: I was a big fan of City of God, and this feels like a spiritual successor.
Jessica: I can’t even figure out what this movie is trying to do, be “Slumdog Millionaire?” Another “meh” for this WOMAN.
Rob: Fitting name.  Pass.
Chris: Looks decent enough of a thriller, but reading half the movie does not appeal to me.

Tickets Purchased:  Ken says “Trash is my kind of treasure.”  Jessica says “The Martian – what? That wasn’t in this weeks pics? I don’t care. That’s what I’m going to see this week.”  But Steve Jobs rises to the top as both Rob and Chris make it their pick.

Steve-Jobs-White-iPhone-4-Cant-Touch-This