Posted on

Trailer Snark (February 17, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

The Great Wall (Universal) – Action/Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for sequences of fantasy action violence
Tag Line: 1700 years to build. 5500 miles long. What were they trying to keep out?
Starring: Matt Damon, Tian Jing, Willem Dafoe
Plot: European mercenaries searching for black powder become embroiled in the defense of the Great Wall of China against a horde of monstrous creatures.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Jessica: I really, for the life of me, cannot get into this movie. When he says he’s fought by Gods and kings and has never seen this I lose my mind because REALLY??? You fought with GODS and you’ve never seen this??? Give me a break. It’s a big pass on this one.
Chris: Yeah, it may look good visually, but just can’t buy into it.  Matt Damon seems way too out of place.
Jim: Yeah, as great an actor as Matt Damon is, he’s too much of a modern one for this. Question—is anyone else annoyed when trailers refer to their movie’s director as “visionary”? Two instances this week.

Fist Fight (Warner Bros) – Comedy
Rated R for language throughout, sexual content/nudity and drug material
Tag Line: After school. Parking lot. It’s on.
Starring: Charlie Day, Ice Cube
Plot: When one school teacher gets the other fired, he is challenged to an after-school fight.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Jim: Cute idea, dumb trailer.
Jessica: I got bored a minute and a half in and turned it off. I like Charlie Day but this looks awful.
Chris: Maybe on a rainy night when nothing else is on.  I am with Jess and Jim.  The movie just looks dumb, and not in the good funny way.

A Cure for Wellness (Twentieth Century Fox) – Mystery/Thriller
Rated R for disturbing violent content and images, sexual content including an assault, graphic nudity, and language
Tag Line: None
Starring: Dane DeHaan, Jason Isaacs
Plot: An ambitious young executive is sent to retrieve his company’s CEO from an idyllic but mysterious “wellness center” at a remote location in the Swiss Alps but soon suspects that the spa’s miraculous treatments are not what they seem.
Running Time: 146 minutes

Chris: My skin was crawling watching the trailer, and have high hopes for this one.  Kind of had a Shutter Island feel in the trailer, which is a good thing.
Jim: Creepy, creepy, creepy, rental, rental, rental.
Jessica: Oh man this looks creepy, I hope it’s as creepy as it looks! I heard all sorts of great things about that movie “Witch” and was not impressed. Here’s hoping this is scary and gross and everything a horror movie should be!

Everybody Loves Somebody (Pantelion Films) – Comedy/Romance
Rated PG-13 for some sexual content and language
Tag Line: None
Starring: Karla Souza, Ben O’Toole
Plot: A successful and single career woman asks her co-worker to pose as her boyfriend at a family wedding back home in Mexico. Her situation gets complicated when her ex shows up at the ceremony.
Running Time: 102 minutes

Jessica: Both the title and the movie look so full of boring cliche’s that I might just choke on them. Pass.
Chris: Some writers are cashing in on the growing multilingual American culture.  I really am loathe to reading my movies, even if the whole film is not subtitled, and where I make exceptions, it is not for romantic comedies.
Jim: No cliche is left unturned here, but I’m definitely interested in taking part in the World Sock Sliding Championship.

In Dubious Battle (Momentum Pictures) – Drama
Rated R for some violence and brief sexuality
Tag Line: None
Starring: Nat Wolff, James Franco, Vincent D’Onofrio, Robert Duvall, Ed Harris, Selena Gomez
Plot: An activist gets caught up in the labor movement for farm workers in California during the 1930s.
Running Time: 110 minutes

Jim: Franco is overrated, but the trailer is good. Steinbeck has an admirable history as far as movie adaptations, so this could be worth seeing.
Jessica: Great cast, great story, totally into this, but probably at home.
Chris: Phenomenal cast and a solid trailer.  I’ll be striking out to see this one.  Pun very much intended.

Tickets Purchased:  Two for In Dubious Battle (Jim and Chris) and One for The Cure for Wellness (Jessica)

Where are you James Franco?  You are our only hope.
Where are you James Franco? You are our only hope.
Posted on

Trailer Snark (April 15th, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: The Boss was in charge of last weekend’s box office taking in $23.4M in its debut.  Batman v Superman slipped to second place with an almost identical $23.4M.  It’s total domestic gross is at $296.6M.  Zootopia placed third with $14.3M and $296M overall.  Fourth place belonged to My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 ($6.4M/$46.7M) and Hardcore Henry debuted in fifth with $5M.  The rest of the top ten went as follows:  Miracles from Heaven ($4.8M/$55.8M), God’s Not Dead 2 ($4M/$13.8M), Allegiant ($3.6M/$61.8M), 10 Cloverfield Ln ($3M/$67.9M), and Eye in the Sky ($2.8M/$10.4M).  Taking a look at this week’s new releases we have another Disney film entry, a sequel to a successful comedy, and others….Let’s take a look.

The Jungle Book (Disney) – Family
Rated PG for some sequences of scary action and peril
Tag Line: The legend will never be the same.
Starring: Bill Murray, Ben Kinglsley, Idris Elba, Neel Sethi
Plot: The man-cub Mowgli flees the jungle after a threat from the tiger Shere Khan. Guided by Bagheera the panther and the bear Baloo, Mowgli embarks on a journey of self-discovery, though he also meets creatures who don’t have his best interests at heart.
Running Time: 105 minutes

Chris: I was pleasantly surprised by Maleficent and then disappointed in the live action Cinderella.  This one actually looks promising to me.
Jessica: Eh. I have never been big fan of this story but that being said, this looks interesting enough for me to want to watch at home.
Jim: Looks like a good, solid epic. Always thought the ’67 Disney flick was one of his best. I’m in!
Ken: My favorite Rudyard Kipling book turned animated Disney film makes the jump to live action movie and it looks epic. Wish they didn’t go so heavy on the celebrity voice actors.

Barbershop:  The Next Cut (Warner Bros) – Comedy
Rated PG-13 for sexual material and language
Tag Line:  Everybody’s back for a fresh cut.
Starring:  Ice Cube, Cedric the Entertainer, Regina Hall, Sean Patrick Thomas
Plot: As their surrounding community has taken a turn for the worse, the crew at Calvin’s Barbershop come together to bring some much needed change to their neighborhood.
Running Time: 112 minutes

Ken: Not a big screener. Maybe not even a small screener.
Chris: I never saw the original.  Should I?  I don’t know…meh.
Jessica: Do not care.
Jim: Didn’t see the original, but this looks funny. Rental.

Criminal (Lionsgate) – Action/Crime/Drama
Rated R for strong violence and language throughout
Tag Line: The mission is in the memories.
Starring: Kevin Costner, Ryan Reynolds
Plot: In a last-ditch effort to stop a diabolical plot, a dead CIA operative’s memories, secrets, and skills are implanted into a death-row inmate in hopes the he will complete the operative’s mission.
Running Time: 113 minutes

Jim: Costner does play a good bad guy and Mr. Brooks was great. He’s due for a hit, looks like this deserves to be one.
Ken: All star cast, interesting premise and explosions all over the place. I’m in.
Chris: Costner plays a great bad guy.  Just go see Mr. Brooks for absolute proof.  This could be a diamond in the rough.
Jessica: I’m half and half on this one, I saw an extended trailer before BvS and the story sounded interesting Add to that Mr. Deadpool, Tommy Lee Jones and Gary freakin Oldman, on top of Kevin Costner and Wonder Woman and it does make me want to see it. I also agree Costner as a bad guy is fantastic to watch.

Green Room (Broad Green Pictures) – Crime/Horror/Thriller
Rated R for strong brutal graphic violence, gory images, language and some drug conten
Tag Line: Now. Whatever you saw or did. Is no longer my concern. But let’s be clear. It won’t end well.
Starring: Patrick Stewart, Anton Yelchin, Imogen Poots
Plot: After witnessing a murder, a punk rock band is forced into a vicious fight for survival against a group of maniacal skinheads.
Running Time: 94 minutes

Chris: What a departure from type for Patrick Stewart!  Not going to get me to the theater though.
Jim: Ooohhh, scary Picard. Rental.
Ken: I might rent it to see Patrick Stewart playing the villain role, but otherwise totally uninterested.

Sing Street (The Weinstein Company) – Musical/Drama
Rated PG-13 for thematic elements including strong language and some bullying behavior, a suggestive image, drug material and teen smoking
Tag Line: Boy meets girl, girl unimpressed, boy starts band.
Starring: Ferdia Walsh-Peelo, Aiden Gillen, Maria Doyle Kennedy
Plot: A boy growing up in Dublin during the 1980s escapes his strained family life by starting a band and moving to London.
Running Time: 106 minutes

Ken: Europeans showing us what a good High School Musical movie looks like.
Chris: This one looks amusing.  I’m in.  Gotta love the 80’s!
Jim: I liked Once and Begin Again, this looks cheerful and tuneful enough to make me want to see it.

Colonia (Screen Media Films) – Drama/History/Romance
Not Rated
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Emma Watson, Daniel Bruhl, Michael Nyqvist
Plot: A young woman’s desperate search for her abducted boyfriend that draws her into the infamous Colonia Dignidad, a sect nobody ever escaped from.
Running Time: 110 minutes

Jessica: I…I am honestly not even sure what i just watched, but it has Hermoine and I love Hermoine…
Ken: Apparently the leaders of this Christian cult were none too pleased about Hermoine transferring over from Hogwarts school of witchcraft.
Jim: nothing I haven’t seen before, but Hermione’s always worth watching.
Chris: Am I the only one that is not typecasting Emma Watson at Trailer Snark?  😉

Tickets Purchased:  Two for The Jungle Book (Ken and Jim), One for Sing Street (Chris), and Jessica stays at home reading her Stephen King book.

The original Jungle Book movie came out 74 years ago!
The original Jungle Book movie came out 74 years ago!
Posted on

Trailer Snark (January 15 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: All hail Star Wars!  The Force Awakens racked up another $41.6M in receipts bringing its total domestic haul to $812M.  Incredible.  The Revenant came in second in its first wide release week with $38M.  Daddy’s Home brought the laughs to the tune of $15M ($116M overall) for third place.  And The Forest debuted at number four with $13M.  The rest of the top ten played out like this:  Sisters ($7.1/$74.8M), The Hateful Eight ($6.3M/$41.4), The Big Short ($6.3M/$42.8M), Alvin and the Chipmunks ($5.5M/$75.6M), Joy ($4.5M/$46.5M), and Concussion ($3M/$$30.9M).  This week’s new box office contenders are…..

Ride Along 2 (Universal) – Comedy
Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence, sexual content, language and some drug material
Tag Line: The brother in-law are back.
Starring: Kevin Hart, Ice Cube, Olivia Munn, Benjamin Bratt
Plot: As his wedding day approaches, Ben heads to Miami with his soon-to-be brother-in-law James to bring down a drug dealer who’s supplying the dealers of Atlanta with product.
Running Time: 101 minutes

Chris: I still have not seen the first.  That said, it looks like a fun flick.
Ken: Ha, brothers in “law”. Anyone else see the irony in Ice Cube playing a police officer?
Jim: Haven’t seen the first one, but this looks funny. I’ll go along for the “Ride”…hee hee yuk yuk.
Rob: Um no.
Jessica: Ugh. P A S S.

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (Paramount) – Drama/Action
Rated R for strong combat violence throughout, bloody images, and language
Tag Line: In 2012, the threat level in Benghazi, Libya was deemed “critical”. When everything went wrong, six men had the courage to do what was right.
Starring: John Krasinski, James Badge Dale, Pablo Schreiber
Plot: An American Ambassador is killed during an attack at a U.S. compound in Libya as a security team struggles to make sense out of the chaos.
Running Time: 144 minutes

Jessica: When I saw Michael Bay’s name I gave up all hope of it being anywhere near realistic but hey, there will be great action and things will go boom.
Chris: My clear winner this week.  Gripping look at a tragedy the government does not want you to know too much about.
Ken: It’s a Michael Bay war adaptation, which is why most of the movie will focus on an incomprehensible love triangle and not the real story behind the 2012 attacks.
Jim: It looked like Zero Dark Thirty 2 until I saw Michael Bay’s name. This can’t possibly be good.
Rob: I’m curious to see how close this picture comes to painting the truth.  But is it too soon for a film on this somewhat recent event?

Norm of the North (Lionsgate) – Animation/Family
Rated PG for mild rude humor and action
Tag Line: Before he can save the Arctic… he’ll need a little help.
Starring: Rob Schneider, Heather Graham
Plot: Displaced from their Arctic home, a polar bear named Norm and his three lemming friends wind up in New York City, where Norm becomes the mascot of a corporation he soon learns is tied to the fate of his homeland.
Running Time: 86 minutes

Rob: Animation looks pretty good, but not really interested.  Will maybe catch it on Netflix down the road.
Jessica: No thank you! I like dancing animals but this did nothing for me.
Chris: Cookie cutter kid fare.  I am sure 3 out 4 kids will approve.
Ken: Unbearable.  Come on, you were all thinking it.
Jim: I was subjected to this trailer in a movie theater. Couldn’t do it again.

Band of Robbers (Gravitas Ventures) – Adventure/Crime
Not Rated
Tag Line: From Mark Twain’s iconic books.
Starring: Kyle Gallner, Adam Nee, Matthew Gray Gubler
Plot: Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn are grown men, still searching for the hidden treasure that has eluded them since childhood.
Running Time: 95 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sftM3Hx98f4
Ken: I like the idea of doing a modern retelling of Mark Twain, but the trailer didn’t do much for me. I might give it a watch when it comes out on demand.
Jim: As Ken said, a modern retelling of Twain would be nice, but the trailer was pretty bland and uninteresting. Oh well, I think we have our kind-of modern Twain retelling in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off—am I right? 🙂
Rob: Mildly interesting premise, but no thanks.
Jessica: I want to say I’ll watch this but that’s like saying I’ll one day tap dance for the Pope so yeah, nope.
Chris: I agree with Ken on this one.  The premise exceeds the delivery it would seem from the trailer.  Perhaps a pleasant small screen surprise?

The Benefactor (Samuel Goldwyn Films) – Drama
Not Rated
Tag Line: His helps comes at a price.
Starring: Richard Gere, Dakota Fanning
Plot: A philanthropist meddles in the lives of newly-married couples in an attempt to relive his past.
Running Time: 90 minutes

Jim: Looks interesting, possible rental.
Chris: Wow….it reminded me of Mr. Brooks with a more tragic beginning.  Unsettling.
Ken: Gere’s been taking on some very dark roles recently and it seems to be paying off. Not my type of movie but the trailer was plenty disturbing. Could be fun if you are into thrillers.
Rob: Gere and Fanning are talented, but this is a rental at best.
Jessica: Interesting but an at home viewer if ever.

Tickets Purchased: One for Ride Along 2 (Jim) and One for 13 Hours (Chris).  Ken and Rob go see Star Wars again to make sure it breaks all the records, and Jessica sits at home with a repeat viewing of The Martian.

Not really a Force Awakens spoiler.  Emails show who ordered the destruction of Alderaan.
Not really a Force Awakens spoiler. Emails show who ordered the destruction of Alderaan.