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Trailer Snark (August 11, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Eric from View from Above, Robert from Cards and Counters, Wayne from The Dope Sheet, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Annabelle: Creation (Warner Bros) – Horror/Mystery/Thriller
Rated R for horror violence and terror.
Tag Line: You don’t know the real story.
Starring: Stephanie Sigman, Miranda Otto
Plot: Several years after the tragic death of their little girl, a dollmaker and his wife welcome a nun and several girls from a shuttered orphanage into their home, soon becoming the target of the dollmaker’s possessed creation, Annabelle.
Running Time: 109 minutes

Wayne: I’m selling this movie. Uses so many tricks to get a jump out of you. I’m not a fan of giving a doll an origin story. 
Chris: Am I alone in not knowing that Annabelle was tied to the Conjuring series? Well, this is no Conjuring from what I have seen.
Jessica: I LOVE the Conjuring, and the sequel was okay, this looks like a big pile of poo.
Jim: Jim Asleep

The Glass Castle (Lionsgate) – Bigoraphy/Drama
Rated PG-13 for mature thematic content involving family dysfunction, and for some language and smoking
Tag Line: Home goes wherever we go.
Starring: Woody Harrelson, Brie Larson
Plot: A young girl comes of age in a dysfunctional family of nonconformist nomads with a mother who’s an eccentric artist and an alcoholic father who would stir the children’s imagination with hope as a distraction to their poverty.
Running Time: 127 minutes

Jim: Woody is awesome, but I was beaten a little too much with the Inspirational Movie Stick during the trailer.
Wayne: I’m selling this movie. A story that isn’t going to get us anywhere. I like the casting, but don’t believe this to be worth seeing in a theater.
Chris: Wake me when it’s over.
Jessica: I LOVE Woody Harrelson but this looks like a great film to take a nap to.

The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature (Open Road Films) – Animation/Family
Rated PG for action and some rude humor
Tag Line: Get ready. Get set.  Get nuts!
Starring: Will Arnett, Katherine Heigl, Jackie Chan
Plot: Following the events of the first film, Surly and his friends must stop Oakton City’s mayor from destroying their home to make way for a dysfunctional amusement park.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Jessica: I don’t even have the words for how stupid this looks. Oh wait, I do, it looks stupid.
Jim: Was the first one even a hit? I remember seeing the trailer for the first one and hoping my daughter didn’t ask me to take her to see it. Mercifully, she didn’t. Man, this is one lame summer for movies.
Wayne: I’m selling this movie. Only a week out and now we’re seeing the push for this movie? Also opening late in the summer tells me they don’t have confidence in the film and neither do I.  
Chris: This first felt like a direct to DVD family film. I suspect this will be no better.

The Only Living Boy in New York (Roadside Attractions) – Drama
Rated R for adult situations
Tag Line: None
Starring: Jeff Bridge, Pierce Brosnan, Callum Turner, Kate Beckinsale
Plot: Adrift in New York City, a recent college graduate’s life is upended by his father’s mistress.
Running Time: 88 minutes

Chris: Mildly interesting, if only for Beckinsale and Bridges. Could be a good choice for the small screen.
Jessica: Pretentious drivel. I do enjoy Jeff Bridges, but you’d have to pay me to see this in theaters, or at home.
Jim: The good cast makes it a possible rental.
Wayne: I’m buying this. An interesting story and hey, it has KATE! 

The Trip to Spain (IFC Films) – Comedy/Drama
Not Rated
Tag Line:  The two amigos are back.
Starring: Steve Coogan, Rob Brydon
Plot: Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon embark on a six-part episodic road trip through Spain, sampling the restaurants, eateries, and sights along the way.
Running Time: 108 minutes

Wayne: I’m buying this. While the ladies of the summer have had their share of girl only fun, time for the guys to get their chance with some old fart trip to Spain. Interesting story and will check it out.
Chris: I still have not seen the first two movies, but this one looks like a good reason to hunt it down quickly.
Jessica: I didn’t see the first two either Chris, but this looks fun, as do the ones that came before.
Jim: The Trip, The Trip to Italy, and now this. I thought the first two were a blast, this looks to be the same. Picturesque locations, great-looking food, and some witty bantering from these two likable comedians (love the Roger Moore bit). If only more movies were as enjoyable on a simple level as these are.

Tickets Purchased: Three for The trip to Spain (Wayne, Chris, and Jim) and One for The Only Living Boy in New York (Wayne) while Jessica gets caught up with a viewing of Dunkirk.

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Trailer Snark (September 4th Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Straight Outta Compton ruled the box office for a third week in a row, collecting another $13.2 million for a total of $134 million domestic.  And shockingly enough, its closest competition was the debuting religious movie War Room (from the makers of Fireproof), which took in $11 million for second place.  Zac Efron’s We Are Your Friends bombed with only $1.8 million on 2300 screen nationwide, leaving the aforementioned War Room as the highest debut (No Escape was technically released early on Wednesday came in fourth as mentioned later).  Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation also continued to pile heaping of cash on its haul in third with $8 million bring its total domestic to $170 million.  No Escape, starring Owen Wilson, scored nearly the same for a fourth place finish, and has $10 million in total domestic receipts.  Sinister 2, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Hitman: Agent 47, The Gift, Jurassic World, and Ant-Man rounded out the rest of the list in that order.  With four new films on the docket for this weekend, let’s check out the trailers.

Before We Go (RADiUS-TWC) – Comedy/Drama/Romance
Rated PG-13 for brief strong language and some suggestive content.
Tag Line: One night can change your whole life
Starring: Chris Evans and Alice Eve
Plot: Two strangers stuck in Manhattan for the night grow into each other’s most trusted confidants when an evening of unexpected adventure forces them to confront their fears and take control of their lives.
Running Time: 89 minutes

Chris: I’ll hand it to them….at least it does not look like a paint by numbers romance flick.  Still won’t get me to go see it.
Ken: The movie looks sappy but the track playing in the background is just too good. It’s called England, by the National. Look it up and thank me later.
Rob:  Captain America in a romantic comedy.  Nothing to see here.  Move along.
Jessica: Blah. Boo. Boring. I understand that the Capt is trying something different but this is heavily trodden ground and I could not possibly be LESS interested in watching this pile of sappy nonsense.

A Walk in the Woods (Broad Green Pictures) – Adventure/Drama/Comedy
Rated R for language and some sexual references
Tag Line: This Labor Day, Take a Hike.
Starring: Robert Redford and Nick Nolte
Plot: After spending two decades in England, Bill Bryson returns to the U.S., where he decides the best way to connect with his homeland is to hike the Appalachian Trail with one of his oldest friends.
Running Time: 104 minutes

Ken: At a certain age you’re supposed to quit acting a fool. But fools have the best stories, don’t they? This sounds like a fun one.
Rob: Hiking the AT is an amazing and physically demanding adventure.  I actually have a friend doing so right now.  Not sure Nolte would be up to the task.  At least there would be some amazing scenery in this flick.  Might check it out on demand down the road.
Jessica: Redford and Nolte, hmmm …
Chris: As we move towards our own change of seasons, two guys in the autumn of their lives seek some adventure on the Appalachian trail.  Good times.

The Transporter Refueled (EuropaCorp USA) – Action
Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence and action, sexual material, some language, a drug reference and thematic elements
Tag Line: None
Starring: Ed Skrein, Ray Stevenson, and Loan Chabanol
Plot: In the south of France, former special-ops mercenary Frank Martin enters into a game of chess with a femme-fatale and her three sidekicks who are looking for revenge against a sinister Russian kingpin.
Running Time: 96 minutes

Rob:  A series that is so uninteresting to me that I didn’t even know this was the fourth film.  Generic looking action flick IMO.
Jessica: Never saw the other films but I can say that this trailer actually bored me and I’m usually all up for a good action flick, this does not look like that flick.
Chris: The action series gets a reboot with Ed Skrein replacing Jason Statham.  Meh…..
Ken: Why does the bad guy always feel compelled to give the hero 12 hours to find his loved ones before killing them? What is the motivation there?

Dragon Blade (Lionsgate) – Action/Drama
Rated R for bloody violence
Tag Line: None
Starring: Jackie Chan, John Cusack, and Adrien Brody
Plot: When corrupt Roman leader Tiberius arrives with a giant army to claim the Silk Road, Huo An teams up his army with an elite Legion of defected Roman soldiers led by General Lucius to protect his country and his new friends.
Running Time: 127 minutes

Ken: I love kung-fu flicks, but a few things in this trailer that rub me wrong: John Cusak in an action role, Adrien Brody in an action role, Jackie Chan in a serious role, everyone in Asia speaking English.
Chris: John Cusack is so miscast here, it isn’t funny.   And that one detail kills it for me.
Jessica: John Cusack, really? I can’t. Oh dear lord I just can’t. The trailer was terrible, I can only hope the movie is better than that with someone like Adrien Brody in it but yeah … Not so much. I just can’t stop laughing at the idea of Cusack as a solider here. Yeah, all sorts of no.
Rob: Looks like mediocrity on screen is the soup of the week again.

Tickets Purchased:  Two for A Walk in the Woods (Ken and Chris), while Rob and Jessica stay home admiring their massive collections of books and comics.

trail-through-the-woods-short-cut-dr-heckle-funny-wtf-memes
Inspired by this week’s Walk in the Woods film release, Ken and Chris wisely choose their own hiking trail for some Labor Day adventure!