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Trailer Snark (February 17, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

The Great Wall (Universal) – Action/Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for sequences of fantasy action violence
Tag Line: 1700 years to build. 5500 miles long. What were they trying to keep out?
Starring: Matt Damon, Tian Jing, Willem Dafoe
Plot: European mercenaries searching for black powder become embroiled in the defense of the Great Wall of China against a horde of monstrous creatures.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Jessica: I really, for the life of me, cannot get into this movie. When he says he’s fought by Gods and kings and has never seen this I lose my mind because REALLY??? You fought with GODS and you’ve never seen this??? Give me a break. It’s a big pass on this one.
Chris: Yeah, it may look good visually, but just can’t buy into it.  Matt Damon seems way too out of place.
Jim: Yeah, as great an actor as Matt Damon is, he’s too much of a modern one for this. Question—is anyone else annoyed when trailers refer to their movie’s director as “visionary”? Two instances this week.

Fist Fight (Warner Bros) – Comedy
Rated R for language throughout, sexual content/nudity and drug material
Tag Line: After school. Parking lot. It’s on.
Starring: Charlie Day, Ice Cube
Plot: When one school teacher gets the other fired, he is challenged to an after-school fight.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Jim: Cute idea, dumb trailer.
Jessica: I got bored a minute and a half in and turned it off. I like Charlie Day but this looks awful.
Chris: Maybe on a rainy night when nothing else is on.  I am with Jess and Jim.  The movie just looks dumb, and not in the good funny way.

A Cure for Wellness (Twentieth Century Fox) – Mystery/Thriller
Rated R for disturbing violent content and images, sexual content including an assault, graphic nudity, and language
Tag Line: None
Starring: Dane DeHaan, Jason Isaacs
Plot: An ambitious young executive is sent to retrieve his company’s CEO from an idyllic but mysterious “wellness center” at a remote location in the Swiss Alps but soon suspects that the spa’s miraculous treatments are not what they seem.
Running Time: 146 minutes

Chris: My skin was crawling watching the trailer, and have high hopes for this one.  Kind of had a Shutter Island feel in the trailer, which is a good thing.
Jim: Creepy, creepy, creepy, rental, rental, rental.
Jessica: Oh man this looks creepy, I hope it’s as creepy as it looks! I heard all sorts of great things about that movie “Witch” and was not impressed. Here’s hoping this is scary and gross and everything a horror movie should be!

Everybody Loves Somebody (Pantelion Films) – Comedy/Romance
Rated PG-13 for some sexual content and language
Tag Line: None
Starring: Karla Souza, Ben O’Toole
Plot: A successful and single career woman asks her co-worker to pose as her boyfriend at a family wedding back home in Mexico. Her situation gets complicated when her ex shows up at the ceremony.
Running Time: 102 minutes

Jessica: Both the title and the movie look so full of boring cliche’s that I might just choke on them. Pass.
Chris: Some writers are cashing in on the growing multilingual American culture.  I really am loathe to reading my movies, even if the whole film is not subtitled, and where I make exceptions, it is not for romantic comedies.
Jim: No cliche is left unturned here, but I’m definitely interested in taking part in the World Sock Sliding Championship.

In Dubious Battle (Momentum Pictures) – Drama
Rated R for some violence and brief sexuality
Tag Line: None
Starring: Nat Wolff, James Franco, Vincent D’Onofrio, Robert Duvall, Ed Harris, Selena Gomez
Plot: An activist gets caught up in the labor movement for farm workers in California during the 1930s.
Running Time: 110 minutes

Jim: Franco is overrated, but the trailer is good. Steinbeck has an admirable history as far as movie adaptations, so this could be worth seeing.
Jessica: Great cast, great story, totally into this, but probably at home.
Chris: Phenomenal cast and a solid trailer.  I’ll be striking out to see this one.  Pun very much intended.

Tickets Purchased:  Two for In Dubious Battle (Jim and Chris) and One for The Cure for Wellness (Jessica)

Where are you James Franco?  You are our only hope.
Where are you James Franco? You are our only hope.
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Trailer Snark (December 23, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

The Trailer Snark team is taking a break for Christmas, so this week’s edition will be without commentary.  Happy Holidays!

Passengers (Columbia) – Sci-Fi/Drama/Adventure
Rated PG-13 for sexuality, nudity and action/peril
Tag Line:  Every moment counts.
Starring:  Jennifer Lawrence, Chris Pratt
Plot: A spacecraft traveling to a distant colony planet and transporting thousands of people has a malfunction in its sleep chambers. As a result, two passengers are awakened 90 years early.
Running Time: 116 minutes

Sing (Universal) – Animation/Family
Rated PG for some rude humor and mild peril
Tag Line: Auditions begin 2016.
Starring:  Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon, Seth McFarlane
Plot: A koala named Buster Moon has one final chance to restore his theater to its former glory by producing the world’s greatest singing competition.
Running Time: 108 minutes

A Monster Calls (Focus Features) – Drama/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for thematic content and some scary images
Tag Line: Stories are wild creatures.
Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Felicity Jones, Lewis MacDougall
Plot: A boy seeks the help of a tree monster to cope with his single mom’s terminal illness.
Running Time: 108 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvZrnt9b7vU

Fences (Paramount) – Drama
Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, language and some suggestive references
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Denzell Washington, Viola Davis
Plot: An African-American father struggles with race relations in the United States while trying to raise his family in the 1950s and coming to terms with the events of his life.
Running Time: 138 minutes

Silence (Paramount) – Drama/History
Rated R for some disturbing violent content
Tag Line: Sometimes silence is the deadliest sound.
Starring: Andrew Garfield, Adam Driver, Liam Neeson
Plot: In the seventeenth century, two Jesuit priests face violence and persecution when they travel to Japan to locate their mentor and propagate Catholicism.
Running Time: 161 minutes

Assassin’s Creed (Twentieth Century Fox) – Action/Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, thematic elements and brief strong language
Tag Line: Your destiny is in your blood.
Starring: Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons
Plot: When Callum Lynch explores the memories of his ancestor Aguilar and gains the skills of a Master Assassin, he discovers he is a descendant of the secret Assassins society.
Running Time: 115 minutes

Why Him? (Twentieth Century Fox) – Comedy
Rated R for strong language and sexual material throughout
Tag Line:  Of all the guys his daughter could have chosen….
Starring:  Bryan Cranston, James Franco, Zoey Deutch
Plot: A holiday gathering threatens to go off the rails when Ned Fleming realizes that his daughter’s Silicon Valley billionaire boyfriend is about to pop the question.
Running Time: 111 minutes

Patriots Day (Lionsgate) – Drama/History/Thriller
Rated R for violence, realistically graphic injury images, language throughout and some drug use
Tag Line: The inside story of the world’s greatest manhunt.
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Michelle Monoghan, John Goodman, J.K. Simmons
Plot: An account of Boston Police Commissioner Ed Davis’s actions in the events leading up to the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing and the aftermath, which includes the city-wide manhunt to find the terrorists behind it.
Running Time: 133 minutes

Merry Christmas from the Trailer Snark Team!
Merry Christmas from the Trailer Snark Team!
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Trailer Snark (January 8 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week:  With no major new releases and only limited release films opening wide, The Force Awakens continued its obvious dominance becoming the biggest domestic film in US history.  $88.3M added to its coffers bringing the total to over $740M.  Mark Wahlberg’s Daddy’s Home was a very distant second with $29M.  The Hateful Eight came in at number three with $16.2M.  Sisters in fourth with $12.5M.  Fifth was Alvin and the Chipmunks with $11.8M.  The rest of the top ten was as follows:  Joy ($10.4M), The Big Short ($9M), Concussion ($8M), Point Break ($6.8M), The Hunger Games Mockingjay Pt 2 ($4.6M).  And now on to our new releases, which have a slim chance of usurping the sci fi juggernaut.

The Forest (Gramercy) – Horror
Rated PG-13 for disturbing thematic content and images
Tag Line: Where fear grows.
Starring:  Natalie Dormer, Eoin Macken
Plot: A young woman searches for her twin sister in a Japanese forest only to find herself surrounded by paranormal forces.
Running Time: 95 minutes

Chris: Is this another Japanese horror remake a la The Ring and The Grudge?  I don’t know.  Looks like it might be the type of movie to watch at home and scare the significant other, but not a theater view.
Jim: Yet another horror movie trailer that frightens me with it’s clichés. The movie might be worth seeing, but the trailer makes me think I’ve seen it all before.
Jessica:  Yawn.  Looks like a snooze fest.
Ken: The creepiness of this trailer got to me a few times. It could be a descent psychological horror film to watch at home. There’s an actual forest in Japan called Aokigahara that is infamous for being a popular suicide site, which makes this movie a bit more intriguing to me.

The Revenant (20th Century Fox) – Adventure/Thriller
Rated R for strong frontier combat and violence including gory images, a sexual assault, language and brief nudity.
Tag Line: None
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, Will Poulter
Plot: A frontiersman named Hugh Glass on a fur trading expedition in the 1820s is on a quest for survival after being brutally mauled by a bear.
Running Time: 156 minutes

Jim: A great trailer (even more effective in a movie theater)—Iñárritu is amazing (Birdman was great) and then there is Leo, one of the best actors today. Count me in.
Jessica: This looks like a winner to me. Brutal, engaging, wonderful performances. This is totally a want-to-see!
Ken: That looked awesome. Amazing cast, I loved the wilderness frontier backdrop. I’d go see this movie just to watch the rest of that bear fight.
Chris: Fantastic trailer.  If you are looking for a thriller/drama set in period piece frontier America, look no further.  DiCaprio looks to shine again.

Anomalis (Paramount) – Comedy/Drama
Rated R for strong sexual content, graphic nudity and language
Tag Line: None
Starring: David Thewlis, Jennifer Jason Leigh
Plot: A man crippled by the mundanity of his life experiences something out of the ordinary.
Running Time: 90 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DT6QJaS2a-U
Jessica: Yeah this trailer doesn’t do much for me. It is a fascinating idea and I like Kauffman’s work but this is a free at-home viewing at best.
Ken: I’m a big fan of Kaufman’s existential moves. His past films have all had a very surreal quality to them. I’m interested to see how this one blends narrative, puppets and stop motion animation into something that looks and feels like real life.
Chris: No thank you.  Creepy animation, and not in a good way.
Jim: The reviews make this look interesting, but the trailer, sad to say, doesn’t.

The Masked Saint (Freestyle Releasing) – Drama/Action
Rated PG-13 for some violence and thematic elements
Tag Line: Husband. Pastor. Hero.
Starring: Roddy Piper, Brett Granstaff
Plot: Based on a true story about one pastor’s mission to help his community by risking his identity and returns to his former life as a wrestler. The triumphant story follows one man’s journey and struggle between helping others and the consequences he faces doing this.
Running Time: 111 minutes

Ken: This movie came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. Looks like it brought a whole lot of bubble gum. I might watch this just for the Rowdy!
Chris: It’s the socially-conscious Nacho Libre!
Jim: I second Chris’s Nacho Libre reference.  Sorry, but this is hard to take as seriously as the trailer means to.
Jessica: Wait, this is SERIOUS movie? Oh man, did they ever miss the mark.

Anesthesia (IFC Films) – Drama/Thriller
Rated R for language, sexual content, drug use and brief violence
Tag Line: Who we don;t know can save us.
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Sam Waterson, Corey Stoll
Plot: Rated R for language, sexual content, drug use and brief violence
Running Time: 90 minutes

Jessica: I just watched the trailer and I can’t remember what this was about so to me that’s a sign that it’s not my cup of tea. Pass.
Ken: I just watched the trailer and I can’t remember what this was about so to me that’s a sign that it’s not my cup of tea. Pass.
Chris:  I pretty much skip anything with the supremely unlikable Kristen Stewart.
Jim: The feel-good movie of the year—not. Pass.

Yosemite (Monterey Media) – Drama
Rated R for some sexual material/nudity and language
Tag Line: Growing up is an adventure.
Starring: James Franco, Everett Meckler
Plot: Rated R for some sexual material/nudity and language
Running Time: 80 minutes

Jim: I’m not as impressed with James Franco as Hollywood and the media want me to be. At best, a rental.
Jessica: I don’t get the obsession with Franco. I loved him on Freaks and Geeks and after that, he’s an okay actor and this movie does nothing for me. Maybe it’s because I don’t at all identify with being a young boy coming of age.
Ken: When you see a group of young boys trekking across railroad tracks with sleeping bags strapped to their backs, you can’t help but remember Stand by Me. It looks like a boring remake of Stand by Me.
Chris: OK, the movie did not have to reference Stand By Me in the credits to immediately make me journey back to the time I watched that one as a kid.  I can’t put my finger on the why, but this one just struck at my heart with an appeal that is too powerful to deny.  Count me in!

Tickets Purchased: Two for The Revenant (Jim and Jessica), One for Anomalis (Ken), and One for Yosemite (Chris)

Rumor has it that Will Ferrell taught Leo some bear wrestling tactics before filming The Revenant.
Rumor has it that Will Ferrell taught Leo some bear wrestling tactics before filming The Revenant.