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Trailer Snark (July 22, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: The Secret Life of Pets remained at the top of the box office for a second straight week with $50.5M to add to its $203M domestic total.  That makes it five straight wins for animated movies (Finding Dory was the champ for three weeks before the current champ’s run).  Ghostbusters debuted in second with $46M.  The Legend of Tarzan was third with $11.3M to add to its $103M total.  The aforementioned Finding Dory was fourth with $11M and an astounding $445.5M overall, while fifth place belonged to Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates ($7.5M/$31.3M).  The rest of the top ten went as follows: The Purge: Election Year ($6/$71M), Central Intelligence ($5.3M/$117.5M), The Infiltrator ($5.2M/$6.7M), The BFG ($3.7M/$45.3M), and Independence Day: Resurgence ($3.4M/$98.5M).  Let’s take a look at this weekend’s new releases….

Star Trek: Beyond (Paramount) – Sci-Fi/Adventure
Rated PG-13 for sequences of sci-fi action and violence
Tag Line: None
Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban
Plot: The USS Enterprise crew explores the furthest reaches of uncharted space, where they encounter a new ruthless enemy who puts them and everything the Federation stands for to the test.
Running Time: 120 minutes

Chris: Abrams made me a fan of the franchise.  I know he is not involved in this outing, but momentum is a strong attractant, and I am looking forward to seeing where they are bringing this story.
Jessica: I really have enjoyed these “new” Star Trek movies but not having JJ Abrams on board this one makes me very leery of it. The trailer also does nothing for me. I’ll watch this, but at home. I don’t believe I’ll make the trip to the theater.
Ken: I’ve really enjoyed Abram’s reboot of the classic Trek, and I probably have it in me to see one more. I’d really like it if they did a movie reboot based on the Next Generation crew.

Ice Age: Collision Course (20th Century Fox) – Family/Animation
Rated PG for mild rude humor and some action/peril
Tag Line: One small step.  One giant mess.
Starring: Ray Romano, Denis Leary, John Leguizamo
Plot: Manny, Diego, and Sid join up with Buck to fend off a meteor strike that would destroy the world.
Running Time: 94 minutes

Ken: Never got into this franchise, won’t be starting now. I’d rather watch 2 hours of the squirrel trying to get the acorn.
Chris: Amusing for a small screen outing.  The acorn may be the best inanimate supporting actor in a movie ever.
Jessica: Nope. Haven’t seen any of these and never will.

Lights Out (Warner Bros) – Horror
Rated PG-13 for terror throughout, violence including disturbing images, some thematic material and brief drug content
Tag Line: You were right to be afraid of the dark.
Starring: Teresa Palmer, Gabriel Bateman, Maria Bello
Plot: When her little brother, Martin, experiences the same events that once tested her sanity, Rebecca works to unlock the truth behind the terror, which brings her face to face with an entity that has an attachment to their mother, Sophie.
Running Time: 81 minutes

Jessica: Looks fun! I love an inventive horror flick!
Ken: Like I need another reason to be scared of the dark. That did look genuinely creepy and I’ll probably catch it at home. Where I can watch with all the lights on.
Chris: Creepy as heck!  YES!

Absolutely Fabulous (Fox Searchlight) – Comedy
Rated R for language including sexual references, and some drug use
Tag Line: It’s a huge great bloody movie, sweetie!
Starring: Jennifer Saunders, Joanna Lumley
Plot: After attracting both media and police attention for accidentally knocking Kate Moss into the River Thames, Edina and Patsy hide out in the south of France.
Running Time: 90 minutes

Chris: RUN AWAY!
Jessica: Oh gosh, this show always cracked me up, though I wasn’t a die-hard fan when it was on. I’d watch this at home. These ladies still look fabulous and funny.
Ken: Absolutely not.

Don’t Think Twice (The Film Arcade) – Comedy/Drama
Rated R for language and some drug use
Tag Line:  The spotlight’s not on everyone.
Starring: Keegan Michael-Key, Gillian Jacobs
Plot: When a member of a popular New York City improv troupe gets a huge break, the rest of the group – all best friends – start to realize that not everyone is going to make it after all.
Running Time: 92 minutes

Ken: Looks hugely charming but only a little funny. Renter, maybe.
Chris: Appealing little story of struggling artists trying to get their break.  Another small screen viewer.
Jessica: A lot of heart in this one, it’s not a theater viewer, but I would rent it or redox it or Amazon it, whatever the zillion options are today for home viewing.

Hillary’s America:  The Secret History of the Democratic Party – Documentary
Rated PG-13 for some violence, thematic elements and smoking
Tag Line: None
Starring: Dinesh D’Souza, Jonah Goldberg
Plot: Documentarian Dinesh D’Souza analyzes the history of the Democratic Party and what he thinks are Hillary Clinton’s true motivations.
Running Time: 100 minutes

Jessica: Why is the “secret” history of the Democratic party dubbed “Hilary’s America”? I get what he’s trying to accomplish, but I shy away from such biased films. I much prefer something balanced that talks about both sides since both sides are deeply, deeply fractured.
Ken: This year’s Presidential election can be summed up thusly, “would you like your turd sandwich cold or toasted?” I have no love for Hillary, but this made me want to puke.
Chris: A bit too theatrical for my taste.  Just give me the facts, Dragnet-style.

Tickets Purchased:  Two for Star Trek Beyond (Ken and Chris) and Jessica stays home to enjoy the Director’s Cut of Superman v Batman.

...because we just had to
…because we just had to
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Trailer Snark (July 15, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Finding Dory was finally dethroned and it took another family-friendly animated film to do it!  The Secret Life of Pets took in $103.1M in its opening weekend.  In second place was The Legend of Tarzan with another $20.6M to add to its $81.4M total.  The aforementioned Finding Dory came in third doing great business at $20.3M and an astounding $422.5M total domestic.  Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates debuted in fourth with $16.6M.  Rounding out the top five was The Purge: Election Year ($11.7M/$58.1M).  The rest of the top ten went as follows: Central Intelligence ($8.1M/$108.3M), Independence Day: Resurgence ($7.7M/$91.4M), The BFG ($7.6M/$38.7M), The Shallows ($4.8M/$45.8M), and Sultan ($2.2M/$3.2M).  Here are this week’s new entries…..

Ghostbusters (Columbia) – Sci-Fi/Comedy
Rated PG-13 for supernatural action and some crude humor
Tag Line: Who You Gonna Call?
Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon
Plot: Following a ghost invasion of Manhattan, paranormal enthusiasts Erin Gilbert and Abby Yates, nuclear engineer Jillian Holtzmann, and subway worker Patty Tolan band together to stop the otherworldly threat.
Running Time: 116 minutes

Jessica: I LOVE the originals (yes, even the sequel so hush) but I also adore Paul Feige and this crew of ladies so I am really excited about this movie. Even after hearing it’s not perfect but a lot of fun, I’m still excited. Plus, Thor as their secretary???? Yes please!
Chris: Don’t tell my wife (she is hating on the relaunch), but I think this looks like a big bucket of buttered popcorn fun to me!

The Infiltrator (Broad Green) – Crime/Biography
Rated R for strong violence, language throughout, some sexual content and drug material
Tag Line: The true story of one man against the biggest drug cartel in history
Starring: Bryan Cranston, John Leguizamo
Plot: A U.S. Customs official uncovers a money laundering scheme involving Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar.
Running Time: 127 minutes

Chris: A look into the story of the people responsible for taking down one of the biggest criminal creeps in our lifetime?  Love this type of film!
Jessica: I would watch Bryan Cranston narrate stereo instructions in a dramatic fashion. He is just awesome and this looks fantastic.

Cafe Society (Lionsgate) – Comedy/Drama/Romance
Rated PG-13 for some violence, a drug reference, suggestive material and smoking
Tag Line: Anyone who is anyone will be seen at Café Society.
Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Steve Carrell, Kristen Stewart, Blake Lively
Plot: Set in the 1930s, a young Bronx native moves to Hollywood where he falls in love with the secretary of his powerful uncle, an agent to the stars. After returning to New York he is swept up in the vibrant world of high society nightclub life.
Running Time: 96 minutes

Jessica: 1. I STRONGLY DISLIKE Woody Allen and refuse to watch his movies. 2. I STRONGLY DISLIKE Kristen Stewart and often avoid her movies if I can. So yeah, BIG pass on this bore-fest for me. Even with a stellar cast I’m all sorts of set with never seeing it.
Chris:  I think Jessica summed up my thoughts quite nicely here.

Equals (A24) – Drama/Romance/Sci-Fi
Rated PG-13 for thematic content, sensuality, partial nudity and disturbing images
Tag Line: Find your equal.
Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Kristen Stewart
Plot: In an emotionless utopia, two people fall in love when they regain their feelings from a mysterious disease, causing tensions between them and their society.
Running Time: 101 minutes

Chris: Aside from the boring trailer, it is Kristen Stewart AGAIN!  Can’t stay far enough away.
Jessica: ANOTHER KRISTEN STEWART MOVIE!?!?!? I am trying to resist swearing. I didn’t even make it through the trailer. I’m almost 100% certain this has been done before (and better). PASS PASS PASS.

Undrafted (Vertical Entertainment) – Comedy/Drama
Not Rated
Tag Line: Twelve guys loved a game.  It didn’t love them back.
Starring:  James Belushi, Tyler Hoechlin, Joseph Mazzello
Plot: When twelve ragtag teammates set out to play what should be a meaningless summer intramural baseball game, it ends up becoming the most important game of their lives.
Running Time: 90 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4c56soXrNs
Chris:  Low rent fodder that should be going straight to DVD.
Jessica: Surprisingly cute looking. I’d watch this at home. It looks funny but with a heart (yep, I went with the cliche).

Tickets Purchased:  Two for Ghostbusters!

What do you want to see in the new Ghostbusters film?  Definitely the ghost of Bob Ross for me please!
What do you want to see in the new Ghostbusters film? Definitely the ghost of Bob Ross for me please!