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Trailer Snark (October 6, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Eric from View from Above, Robert from Cards and Counters, Wayne from The Dope Sheet, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Blade Runner 2049 (Columbia Pictures) – Sci-Fi/Thriller
Rated R for violence, some sexuality, nudity and language
Tag Line: None
Starring: Harrison Ford, Ryan Gosling
Plot: A young blade runner’s discovery of a long-buried secret leads him to track down former blade runner Rick Deckard, who’s been missing for thirty years.
Running Time: 163 minutes

Wayne: This is going to be the #1 film this week. Looks amazing.
Rob F: Just seeing the trailer makes me want to go re-watch the original and be ready for this weekend.
Chris:  Honestly, I barely remember watching the original as a young kid.  I feel a bit sheepish in saying that my enthusiasm to see the sequel is not exactly high. 

My Little Pony: The Movie (Lionsgate) – Animation/Adventure
Rated PG for mild action
Tag Line: Discover a different breed of hero.
Starring: Emily Blunt, Kristen Chenoweth
Plot: A dark force threatens Ponyville, and the Mane 6 embark on an unforgettable journey beyond Equestria where they meet new friends and exciting challenges on a quest to use the magic of friendship to save their home.
Running Time: 99 minutes

Chris: Are they marketing this to the kids, or to the adult kids?  Very curious as to the demographic this one brings in due to the sizeable sub-culture this IP has created.  Not curious enough to grab myself a seat though.
Wayne: Going to pass on this one.
Rob F: Some people with certain screen savers may want to see this. When we saw the trailer for this film at Ninjago, my daughter said “That looks really bad”. Then again, so was Ninjago.

The Mountain Between Us (20th Century Fox) – Adventure/Drama
Rated PG-13 for a scene of sexuality, peril, injury images, and brief strong language
Tag Line: What if your life depended on a stranger?
Starring: Idris Elba, Kate Winslet
Plot: Stranded after a tragic plane crash, two strangers must forge a connection to survive the extreme elements of a remote snow covered mountain. When they realize help is not coming, they embark on a perilous journey across the wilderness.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Rob F: Looks like a cool survival story with two talented actors. I’d rent it for sure.
Chris: These types of films are right up my alley.  And the Gunslinger walked through the mountains….oh wait, wrong movie. Solid leads though, and a nice trailer have my attention.
Wayne: Looks inspiring, but I don’t think this is a movie people have been asking for. Going to pass.

The Florida Project (A24) – Drama
Rated R for language throughout, disturbing behavior, sexual references and some drug material.
Tag Line: Welcome to a magical kingdom.
Starring: Willem Dafoe, Brooklyn Prince
Plot: Set over one summer, the film follows precocious 6-year-old Moonee as she courts mischief and adventure with her ragtag playmates and bonds with her rebellious but caring mother, all while living in the shadows of Disney World.
Running Time: 115 minutes

Wayne: Looks depressing, however I’m going to catch this on Netflix. Looks like a good story.
Rob F: Gorgeous cinematography and what looks to be a meaningful story. Looks solid. Not a big screen film for me, but I’d watch it for sure.
Chris: Something about this trailer really captivated me, and stirred my emotions.  Bravo!

Walking Out (IFC Films) – Adventure/Drama/Mystery
Rated PG-13 for bloody injury images, some thematic elements and brief strong language
Tag Line: Survival runs in the blood.
Starring: Matt Bomer, Josh Wiggins, Bill Pullman
Plot: An urban teenager journeys to Montana to hunt big game with his estranged father. Father and son struggle to connect, until a brutal encounter in the heart of the wilderness changes everything.
Running Time: 95 minutes

Chris: This is the best time of year for film.  Serious movies with real substance.  While totally unlike the last trailer, this one digs down into the bonds of family and relationship.  On top of that, my own Montana experience while incredible was also humbling.  So much wilderness and feeling so small and insignificant.  Makes for an awesome setting!
Wayne: Hmmm. I feel like we’ve seen this story, just not like this. I’ll check it out at some point.  
Rob F: Wow, another one that looks really good! Would absolutely watch this, and maybe even on the big screen.

Tickets Purchased: Two for Blade Runner 2049 (Rob and Wayne) and One for The Florida Project (Chris)

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Trailer Snark (December 16, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Rogue One (Disney) – SciFi/Action
Rated PG-13 for extended sequences of sci-fi violence and action
Tag Line: Save the rebellion. Save the dream.
Starring: Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Forrest Whitaker
Plot: The Rebellion makes a risky move to steal the plans for the Death Star, setting up the epic saga to follow.
Running Time: 134 minutes

Rob: #$%^ yeah baby!  Finally!!!  It doesn’t take a Jedi Master to recognize that The Force will be strong with this one.  I have secured two sets of tickets for sneak previews to kick off the viewings.  I am upset at the quantity of reshooting that is rumored to have taken place because the film was allegedly too dark.  We need a dark Star Wars film.  This film screams out for the Dark Side.  The Empire has the galaxy in a death grip during this particular period of time.  It’s time for the bothan bodies to hit the floor!  Fear.  Anger.  Hate.  Suffering.  And, yes….a sliver of hope, the spark of Rebellion.
Jessica: Yes. Yes. YES! Im seeing this in IMAX as a birthday gift. I cannot wait and I am super super duper stoked!
Chris:  Adventure. Excitement.  A Jedi craves not these things.  I ain’t no Jedi.  Bring it on baby!

Collateral Beauty (Warner Bros) – Drama
Rated PG-13 for thematic elements and brief strong language
Tag Line: We are all connected.
Starring: Will Smith, Edward Norton, Kate Winslet, Keira Knightley
Plot: Retreating from life after a tragedy, a man questions the universe by writing to Love, Time and Death. Receiving unexpected answers, he begins to see how these things interlock and how even loss can reveal moments of meaning and beauty.
Running Time: 97 minutes

Chris: A fantastic cast and a pull at the heartstrings won’t prevent me from staying on target.
Rob: It’s not Rogue One.
Jessica: This looks like a really lovely, heart-warming story, but it’s got nothing on Rogue One! I would watch this at home though.

A Kind of Murder (Magnolia) – Drama/Thriller
Rated R for language and some violence
Tag Line: None
Starring: Haley Bennett, Jessica Biel, Patrick Wilson
Plot: In 1960s New York, Walter Stackhouse is a successful architect married to the beautiful Clara who leads a seemingly perfect life. But his fascination with an unsolved murder leads him into a spiral of chaos as he is forced to play cat-and-mouse with a clever killer and an overambitious detective, while at the same time lusting after another woman.
Running Time: 95 minutes

Jessica: Can’t even deal with this, it’s not Rogue One.
Chris: Meh…..maybe on Netflix.  A less thrilling thriller it would seem.
Rob: This is also not Rogue One.

Solace (Grindstone Entertainment) – Crime/Drama/Mystery
Rated R for violence and bloody images throughout, sexuality, nudity and language
Tag Line: How do you stop a killer who can read your mind?
Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Abbie Cornish, Colin Farrell
Plot: A psychic works with the FBI in order to hunt down a serial killer.
Running Time: 101 minutes

Rob: Also a movie not worthy of my attention this week because it’s not Rogue One…  But wait!  Dr. Robert Ford (Anthony Hopkins), Detective Velcoro (Colin Farrell), & $%^*ing Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan)!?!?!? Ok, you have my attention for a couple minutes.  Looks decent I suppose.  A possible rental down the road.
Jessica: Oh Dr. Ford, love you, but not Rogue One, don’t care.
Chris: This movie has been sitting on a shelf for over a year looking for a distributor.  Not sure how this bodes for the film, especially since they are dumping it into the same release week as the new Star Wars.

Tickets Purchased: It’s unanimous, as if you thought any different!

See what we did there?
See what we did there?
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Trailer Snark (September 23, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Your trailer snark now comes with more thrills and less fill!  Let’s get right down to it!

The Magnificent Seven (MGM) – Western/Action
Rated PG-13 for extended and intense sequences of Western violence, and for historical smoking, some language and suggestive material
Tag Line: Justice has a number.
Starring:  Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke
Plot: Seven gun men in the old west gradually come together to help a poor village against savage thieves.
Running Time: 132 minutes

Chris: One trailer in, and I cannot imagine anything overtaking this one.  Denzell and Pratt are favorites of mine, and the Old West never looked so wild and good.
Jessica: All over this one. One, it’s a Western. Two, it’s Denzel. Three, it’s Chris Pratt. Four, it’s a WESTERN.
Jim: Oh yeah. Great cast, good director, awesome source material (Seven Samurai and the 1960 original) and a well-made trailer. Get thee to a big screen.

Storks (Warner Bros) – Animated/Family
Rated PG for mild action and some thematic elements
Tag Line: A bundle of trouble is coming.
Starring: Adam Samberg, Jennifer Aniston, Kelsey Grammer
Plot: Storks have moved on from delivering babies to packages. But when an order for a baby appears, the best delivery stork must scramble to fix the error by delivering the baby.
Running Time: 89 minutes

Jim: Kids movies are a pretty crowded field. This doesn’t look much different than the rest—possible home viewer.
Chris: I’d rather watch Sporks….you know…an animated tale of the school lunch utensil’s answer to the platypus.
Jessica: Eh. Still not a fan of animated films so I’ll pass.

Queen of Katwe (Disney) – Biography/Drama
Rated PG for thematic elements, an accident scene and some suggestive material
Tag Line: One girl’s triumphant path to becoming a chess champion.
Starring: Madina Nalwanga, David Oyelowo
Plot: An Ugandan girl sees her world rapidly change after being introduced to the game of chess.
Running Time: 124 minutes

Jessica: This looks super sweet — perhaps TOO sweet, it is Disney so I am sure they gloss over how horrible her life truly was, but I’d watch it at home at some point.
Jim: Inspirational in a TV movie kind of way. Home viewer.
Chris: Chess movies usually don’t stir much interest for me, but this one has a nice human interest element to it.

The Dressmaker (Broad Green) – Drama
Rated R for brief language and a scene of violence
Tag Line: Revenge is back in fashion.
Starring: Kate Winslet, Liam Hemsworth
Plot: A glamorous woman returns to her small town in rural Australia. With her sewing machine and haute couture style, she transforms the women and exacts sweet revenge on those who did her wrong.
Running Time: 118 minutes

Chris: Not sure what to make of this one…….how about a dress?
Jessica: This look like a decent bit of fun. I enjoy Winslet and Thor’s little brother? AND HUGO WEAVING? Yeah, I’d watch this one at home.
Jim: Looks OK, good cast, but not worth plunking down the ten bucks. Home viewer.

Goat (Paramount) – Drama
Rated R for disturbing behavior involving hazing, strong sexual content and nudity, pervasive language, violence, alcohol abuse and some drug use
Tag Line: Cruelty. Brutality. Fraternity.
Starring: Ben Schnetzer, Nick Jonas
Plot: Reeling from a terrifying assault, a 19 year-old boy enrolls into college with his brother and pledges the same fraternity. What happens there, in the name of “brotherhood,” tests the boy and his loyalty to his brother in brutal ways.
Running Time: 96 minutes
Jim: If I want to watch morons for 2 hours, I’ll put in Dumb and Dumber. No way.
Chris:  Makes me glad I went to a school that lacked fraternities.  I’ll pass.
Jessica: What the F? Why do I care about a bunch of boys doing stupid things to be in a frat? I got annoyed and turned off the trailer. All set with this one. Forever. And no one else should see it either.

Tickets Purchased:  Unanimous decision for The Magnificent Seven!

This town ain't big enough for eight.
This town ain’t big enough for eight.