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Trailer Snark (June 24, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Was there ever any doubt?  Finding Dory topped the box office with $136.1M.  Central Intelligence managed a solid second place debut with $34.5M.  The Conjuring 2 slipped to third place with $15.5M to add to its $71.7M domestic total.  The rest of the list did not manage double digits and came in this order:  Now You See Me 2 ($9.6M/$41.3M), Warcraft ($6.5M/$37.7M), X-Men: Apocalypse ($5.2M/$143M), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:  Out of the Shadows ($5.2M/$71.9M), Me Before You ($4.1M/$46.3M), Alice Through the Looking Glass ($3.6M/$69.3M), and Captain America: Civil War ($2.2M/$401.2M).  This week’s contenders are…..

Independence Day: Resurgence (Twentieth Century Fox) – Action/Sci-Fi
Rated PG – 13 for sequences of sci – fi action and destruction, and for some language
Tag Line: We had twenty years to prepare. So did they.
Starring: Liam Hemsworth, Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman
Plot: Two decades after the first Independence Day invasion, Earth is faced with a new extra-Solar threat. But will mankind’s new space defenses be enough?
Running Time: 120 minutes

Chris: I was one of the few people I know that did not enjoy it the first time around.  I guarantee you I will not be rushing out to see the sequel.
Jessica: YESSSSS!!! I ADORE the first movie for it’s goofy America-ness so I am soo there for this one. It looks equally as fun and has a Hemsworth in it to boot (any Hemsworth will do really).
Jim: 20 years ago, a big-budget alien invasion movie was still something of a novelty. Now they’re a dime a dozen. I’m not sure how many people are interested in this, could be this year’s Terminator: Genisys.  That  said, the trailer’s well done, evoking the enjoyably corny too-muchness of  the original.
Ken: That looked sweet, guess I should get around to watching the first movie at some point. Earth should build a wall around the planet to keep the alien invaders out. And have the aliens pay for it.

The Shallows (Columbia) – Drama/Horror
Rated PG – 13 for bloody images, intense sequences of peril, and brief strong language
Tag Line: Plan your getaway.
Starring:  Blake Lively, Oscar Jaenada
Plot: A mere 200 yards from shore, surfer Nancy is attacked by a great white shark, with her short journey to safety becoming the ultimate contest of wills.
Running Time: 87 minutes

Jessica: Good timing with Shark Week starting on Saturday, it shows A LOT in the trailer so that concerns me, I’d watch this at home though because I do enjoy a good shark flick and this has potential to be good.
Jim: The Shallows—Jaws and Open Water did it for me. What more can anyone really add to another shark attack movie without it appearing drawn out and/or ridiculous?
Ken: She’s gonna need a bigger surfboard. Probably pass on this one, but that is one cool looking shark.
Chris: I hate that they show you so much in the trailer, but it sure freaks me out something fierce.  I am ready to squirm in my seat!

Free State of Jones (STX Entertainment) – Biography/Drama
Rated R for brutal battle scenes and disturbing graphic images
Tag Line: Based on the incredible true story.
Starring: Matthew McCounaghey, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Keri Russell
Plot: As civil war divides the nation, a poor farmer from Mississippi leads a group of rebels against the Confederate army.
Running Time: 139 minutes

Jim: Civil War movies have always held an appeal for me. That and Matthew McConaughey—I’m in.
Ken: Love me some Civil War. The McConaughey revival marches on.
Chris: Looks like a solid civil war era military drama… cup of tea.
Jessica: I do enjoy Matthew and this looks like a solid pick, but I’d watch it at home, not the theater.

The Neon Demon (Broad Green Pictures) – Drama/Horror
Rated R for disturbing violent content, bloody images, graphic nudity, a scene of aberrant sexuality, and language
Tag Line: Beauty isn’t everything it’s the only thing.
Starring:  Elle Fanning, Christina Hendricks, Keanu Reeves
Plot: When aspiring model Jesse moves to Los Angeles, her youth and vitality are devoured by a group of beauty-obsessed women who will take any means necessary to get what she has.
Running Time: 117 minutes

Ken: I don’t know what I just watched, but I didn’t like it.
Chris: Psycho model Elle Fanning.  I remember when she was such a sweet girl.  Pass.
Jessica: Looks interesting but I really didn’t like “Drive” all that much and a movie about unhappy models…Meh.
Jim: Trying too hard to impress me with its weirdness.

Weiner Dog (IFC Films) – Comedy
Rated R for language and some disturbing content.
Tag Line: None
Starring: Danny Devito, Ellen Burnstyn
Plot: A dachshund passes from oddball owner to oddball owner, whose radically dysfunctional lives are all impacted by the pooch.
Running Time: 90 minutes

Chris: Was that supposed to be funny?
Jessica: This one charmed me I have to say. I’d watch it at home for sure.
Jim: Couldn’t be less interested.
Ken: I found this oddly charming, but not enough to make a trip out of it. Renter maybe.

Hunt for the Wilderpeople (The Orchard) – Adventure/Comedy
Rated PG-13 for thematic elements including violent content, and for some language
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Sam Neill, Julian Denson
Plot: A national manhunt is ordered for a rebellious kid and his foster uncle who go missing in the wild New Zealand bush.
Running Time: 101 minutes

Jessica: I am already in love with this movie. Great casting, I loved “What We Do In The Shadows” so I have a feeling the humor will be spot-on and creative.
Jim: Looks funny and enjoyable.  Sam Neill is always a plus.
Ken: The dialogue had me in stitches.  I’ll definitely be streaming this down the line.
Chris:  Now, THAT looks funny.

Tickets Purchased: Two for Independence Day (Jessica and Ken), One for Hunt for the Wilderpeople (Jim), and One for The Shallows (Chris).

Keanu's movie didn't get picked by anyone this week, but he is so captionable!
Keanu’s movie didn’t get picked by anyone this week, but he is so captionable!
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Trailer Snark (October 9, 2015 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: MATT DAMON!  The Martian takes the top prize with the second biggest October opening ever with $55M.  Hotel Transylvania 2 was in second with a substantial $33M haul and $90M overall.  Sicario, which went wide this past week, took third place ($12M/$15M).  The Intern was fourth ($11.6M/$36.5M) and fifth place belonged to Maze Runner: Scorch Trials ($7.6M/$63.2M).  The bottom half of the top ten was as follows: Black Mass ($5.9M/$52.5M), Everest ($5.5M/$33.1M), The Visit ($3.9M/$57.6M), War Room ($2.8M/$60.5M), and The Perfect Guy ($2.4M/$52.6M).  And now, let’s take a look at what is in theaters this weekend…..

Pan (Warner Bros) – Family/Adventure
Rated PG for fantasy action violence, language and some thematic material
Tag Line: In the beginning… he was the enemy.
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Levi Miller, Rooney Mara, Amanda Seyfried
Plot: 12-year-old orphan Peter is spirited away to the magical world of Neverland, where he finds both fun and dangers, and ultimately discovers his destiny — to become the hero who will be forever known as Peter Pan.
Running Time: 111 minutes

Rob: Looks ok, perhaps even good, but nobody can hold a candle to the animated classic from where I stand.  May catch it on rental down the road.
Chris: I remember going to see Hook with my family, and loathing every minute.  Perhaps this incarnation will bring the live action Peter Pan some redemption in my eyes?
Ken: You don’t mess with the classics by trotting out a contrived origin story bedazzled in CGI. If the reviews are good I may check it out when it comes out on digital, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Pan gets panned.
Jessica: Don’t make me watch this again, I really have an intense dislike for this movie from the trailers. It looks boring and I think a lot of people are just sick of Peter Pan. All set with this one.

Big Stone Gap (ArtAffects Entertainment) – Romance/Comedy
Rated PG – 13 for brief suggestive material
Tag Line: Small town. Big heart.
Starring: Ashley Judd, Patrick Wilson, Whoopi Goldberg, and Jenna Elfman
Plot: In a small town nestled in the Appalachian Mountains of Virginia, self-proclaimed spinster Ave Maria Mulligan finds her life shaken up and forever changed after learning a long-buried family secret.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Jessica: What? I think I fell asleep watching this trailer.
Rob: Well, it has Jenna Elfman.  There ends the positive.
Chris: Run….run fast…away from the theater.
Ken: I tuned out after about 10 seconds.

The Final Girls (Vertical Entertainment) – Comedy/Horror
Rated PG – 13 for horror violence, some crude and sexual material, language and drug use
Tag Line: None
Starring: Taissa Farmiga, Malin Akerman, Adam Devine, and Nin Dobrev
Plot: A young woman grieving the loss of her mother, a famous scream queen from the 1980s, finds herself pulled into the world of her mom’s most famous movie. Reunited, the women must fight off the film’s maniacal killer.
Running Time: 88 minutes

Ken: Scream and Scary Movie had a hipster child.
Jessica: I just don’t … I can’t figure out if this is total crap or really clever. That leaves me feeling like I wouldn’t want to be the “final girl” (can we please stop calling WOMEN, GIRLS??? I know that seems dumb to some people but for pete’s sake, you stop being a girl somewhere around 18 – WOMEN. THEY ARE WOMEN. I feel very “meh” about this movie.
Rob: Horror comedy combo.  Not likely to see this one, but if I do it wont be on the big screen.
Chris: Looks mildly amusing….but far more likely to be a Netflix or DVD small screen venture.

Knock Knock (Lionsgate) – Horror/Mystery
Rated R for disturbing violent behavior, strong sexual content, nudity and language
Tag Line:  One night can cost you everything.
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Lorenza Izzo, and Ana de Armas
Plot: When a devoted husband and father is left home alone for the weekend, two stranded young women unexpectedly knock on his door for help. What starts out as a kind gesture results in a dangerous seduction and a deadly game of cat and mouse.

Rob: Who’s There?  Keanu.  Keanu Who?  Exactly.  Two psych girls seduce, torture, and kill Keanu?  Weird.
Chris: I bet Keanu had wished he entered the Matrix instead.  I know…that was week, but Rob stole my knock knock joke.
Ken: I’m scaroused.
Jessica: As much as I genuinely like Keanu Reeves, my stomach turns at the idea that no man can resist boffing two co-eds. I just don’t buy it and I’ll probably skip this one.

Steve Jobs (Universal) – Biography/Drama
Rated R for language
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Michael Fassbender, Kate Winslet, Seth Rogen, Jeff Daniels
Plot: Set backstage at three iconic product launches and ending in 1998 with the unveiling of the iMac, Steve Jobs takes us behind the scenes of the digital revolution to paint a portrait of the man at its epicenter.
Running Time: 122 minutes

Chris: I am torn.  I typically do not get into celebrity behind the scenes fare.  There is, however, a compelling story here about the inception of a life-changing tech company, but how much of the personal story do we have to endure that may or may not be a reflection of the truth?
Rob: Man or monster?  How will the film ultimately paint one of our fallen technological icons?  Will it be accurate?  I’m not sure, but I’d like to find out.
Jessica: I have the book this is based on and haven’t read it yet, I find Jobs fascinating but I’m not fascinated to see yet another film about this guy.
Ken: The man, the myth, the monster? The second Jobs biopic in as many years, Steve Jobs the movie paints a complex portrait of one of the great innovators of our generation.

Trash (Focus World) – Adventure/Comedy/Crime
Rated R for violence and language
Tag Line: You never know what you might find.
Starring: Rickson Tevez, Rooney Mara, Martin Sheen
Plot: Set in Brazil, three kids who make a discovery in a garbage dump soon find themselves running from the cops and trying to right a terrible wrong.
Running Time: 114 minutes

Ken: I was a big fan of City of God, and this feels like a spiritual successor.
Jessica: I can’t even figure out what this movie is trying to do, be “Slumdog Millionaire?” Another “meh” for this WOMAN.
Rob: Fitting name.  Pass.
Chris: Looks decent enough of a thriller, but reading half the movie does not appeal to me.

Tickets Purchased:  Ken says “Trash is my kind of treasure.”  Jessica says “The Martian – what? That wasn’t in this weeks pics? I don’t care. That’s what I’m going to see this week.”  But Steve Jobs rises to the top as both Rob and Chris make it their pick.