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Trailer Snark (June 2, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Eric from View from Above, Robert from Cards and Counters, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Wonder Woman (Warner Bros) – Action/Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence and action, and some suggestive content
Tag Line: Power. Grace. Wisdom. Wonder.
Starring:  Gal Gadot, Chris Pine
Plot: Before she was Wonder Woman she was Diana, princess of the Amazons, trained warrior. When a pilot crashes and tells of conflict in the outside world, she leaves home to fight a war to end all wars, discovering her full powers and true destiny.
Running Time: 141 minutes

Chris: I have been pretty hard on DC’s cinematic universe, but this is the first time I have some true hopefulness in one of their films.  Here’s to a wonderous Wonder Woman!
Jim: Like most of the world, I’m looking forward to seeing this. The trailer’s certainly action-packed, and Gal Gadot is a stunning-looking woman.  I found her performance very wooden in that endurance test called Batman vs. Superman. Maybe she’ll pull it off in the new movie.
Jessica: A woman-led superhero flick directed by a woman? This little feminist heart is all for it!!! I cannot wait to see it and I have HIGH hopes that it is going to be the best of the best!!!!

Check out Great Stories very own Dope Sheet Review of the movie here!

Captain Underpants (Twentieth Century Fox) – Animated/Family
Rated PG for mild rude humor throughout
Tag Line: Change is coming!
Starring: Kevin Hart, Ed Helms
Plot: Two overly imaginative pranksters named George and Harold, hypnotize their principal into thinking he’s a ridiculously enthusiastic, incredibly dimwitted superhero named Captain Underpants.
Running Time: 89 minutes

Jim: A funny trailer, looks like a good rental.
Chris: Actually looks mildly amusing, but my wife is horrified.

Dean (CBS Films) – Comedy/Drama
Rated PG-13 for language and some suggestive material
Tag Line: A comedy about tragedy.
Starring: Demetri Martin, Kevin Kline, Gillian Jacobs
Plot: A comedy about loss, grief and the redemptive power of love, Dean is an NY illustrator who falls hard for an LA woman while trying to prevent his father from selling the family home in the wake of his mother’s death.
Running Time: 87 minutes

Chris: Watching Dean totally destroy himself in front of the pretty girl was very funny, but it looks like a rental at best.
Jim: At last, a romantic comedy that’s not falling all over itself trying to impress me how witty it thinks it is. Good date night material, and the scene that Chris mentioned is very funny.

Band Aid (IFC Films) – Comedy
Not Rated
Tag Line: Misery loves accompaniment
Starring: Zoe Lister-Jones, Adam Pally, Colin Hanks, Brooklyn Decker
Plot: A couple who can’t stop fighting embark on a last-ditch effort to save their marriage: turning their fights into songs and starting a band.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Jim: Another interesting romcom, and one about a married couple that actually looks good. What a great premise!
Chris: This actually looks darn good.  A romantic comedy done in a style of its own. A romcom that is not paint by numbers…how refreshing!

Vincent n Roxxy (Vertical Entertainment) – Crime/Drama/Thriller
Rated R for brutal bloody violence, language throughout, some strong sexual content, nudity, and brief drug use
Tag Line: None
Starring: Emile Hirsch, Zoe Kravitz
Plot: A small town loner and a rebellious punk rocker unexpectedly fall in love as they are forced on the run and soon discover violence follows them everywhere.
Running Time: 110 minutes

Chris: That’s a whole lot of dysfunctional people in one trailer.
Jim: Blecchh. Yawn. ZZZZ.  And other negative sounds.

Tickets Purchased: Three for Wonder Woman

Righting the wrongs of Batman vs Superman?
Righting the wrongs of Batman vs Superman?

 

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Trailer Snark (October 14, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

The Accountant (Warner Bros) – Action/Crime/Drama
Rated R for strong violence and language throughout
Tag Line:  Calculate your choices.
Starring:  Ben Affleck, Anna Kendrick
Plot: As a math savant uncooks the books for a new client, the Treasury Department closes in on his activities and the body count starts to rise.
Running Time: 128 minutes

Jessica: Oh I’m 100% into this one. Great cast, interesting premise. Looks like a fun and possibly violent romp.
Jim: Looks solid and gripping. A good Affleck here, I’m in.
Chris: After checking my balances, I have determined that the assets outweigh the liabilities and I will be glad to exercise my options for this movie.

Kevin Hart:  What Now? (Universal) – Documentary/Comedy
Rated R for some sexual material, and language throughout
Tag Line: The comedy event of the year.
Starring:  Kevin Hart, Halle Berry, Don Cheadle
Plot: Comedian Kevin Hart performs in front of a crowd of 50,000 people at Philadelphia’s outdoor venue, Lincoln Financial Field.
Running Time: 96 minutes

Chris:  I’ll watch it on Netflix for sure.  KH brings the comedy for me.
Jessica: Don’t care. He’s annoying as hell and this movie looks like a waste of money.
Jim: Irritating and in-your-face.

Max Steel (Open Road Films) – Action/Adventure
Rated PG-13 for some sci-fi action violence
Tag Line: Unleash your power.
Starring: Ben Winchell, Josh Brener
Plot: The adventures of teenager Max McGrath and his alien companion, Steel, who must harness and combine their tremendous new powers to evolve into the turbo-charged superhero Max Steel.
Running Time: 92 minutes

Jim: Looks like spare parts from half a dozen superhero movies put in a blender. Dull, dull, dull.
Chris:  Disinterest to the Max.
Jessica: My boyfriend got really excited about this one, though I can’t say the same. It looks a bit cheesy to me and not really something I care too much about seeing in the theater.

Certain Women (IFC Films) – Drama
Rated R for some language
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Kristen Stewart, Michelle Williams
Plot: The lives of three women intersect in small-town America, where each is imperfectly blazing a trail.
Running Time: 107 minutes

Jessica: I’m all for a movie about independent women, but does it have to star Kristen Stewart? She is about as interesting as a paper sack, actually, I’d rather watch the paper sack. I honestly got bored watching the trailer. Pass on this one.
Jim: It’s amazing how  often a quiet trailer full of people talking can make a movie look interesting.
Chris: ACK!  Kristen Stewart alert!  WARNING! WARNING!  Jessica and I may have to start a support group. 

Priceless (Roadside Attractions) – Drama/Romance
Rated PG-13 for mature thematic material involving human trafficking, and some violence
Tag Line: You’re priceless.
Starring: Joel Smallbone, David Koechner
Plot: A widower who loses custody of his daughter finds himself unable to hold down a job. He agrees to drive a truck across the country, no questions asked. But when he discovers what he is delivering, he is faced with a life-changing choice.
Running Time: 97 minutes

Chris: Might be a descent rental.  Its the guy from For King and Country!
Jessica: Ugh. This went down a remarkably cheesy trailer path for such a story. Pass.
Jim: Meh.

Tickets Purchased:  Two for The Accountant (Jessica and Chris) and One for Certain Women (Jim)

I'm Batma....ahem, at your service for all your accounting needs!
I’m Batma….ahem, at your service for all your accounting needs!

 

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Trailer Snark (June 17, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week:  The Conjuring 2 was a hit at the box office with $40.3M last weekend, and topping the list.  In an unusual (of late) turn, the next two entries were also debuts with Warcraft pulling in $24.3M and Now You See Me 2 taking in $23M.  Fourth place was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:  Out of the Shadows ($14.8M/$61M), and fifth place belonged to X-Men: Apocalypse ($10M/$136.3M).  The rest of the top ten were as follows:  Me Before You ($9.2/$36.8M), Angry Birds ($6.8M/$98.1M), Alice Through the Looking Glass ($5.5/$62.4M), Captain America:  Civil War ($4.3M/$396.8M), and The Jungle Book ($2.7M/$352.6M).  Let’s look ahead to this weekend!

Finding Dory (Disney/Pixar) – Family
Rated PG for mild thematic elements
Tag Line: Have you seen her?
Starring: Ellen Degeneres, Ed O’Neil, Albert Brooks
Plot: The friendly-but-forgetful blue tang fish reunites with her loved ones, and everyone learns a few things about the real meaning of family along the way.
Running Time: 97 minutes

Jessica: I liked Nemo okay, I don’t really care about Dory. I am sure people will enjoy it though.
Chris:  Mine?  Mine? Mine?  Yes, all mine and it’s about time.
Jim: Nemo is a classic. It’s Pixar. Most likely another classic.
Ken: The lovable Dory stole the show in the original Finding Nemo. Expect more Pixar cuteness and hilarity from the sequel.

Central Intelligence (Warner Bros) – Comedy
Rated PG-13 for crude and suggestive humor, some nudity, action violence and brief strong language
Tag Line: Saving the world takes a little Hart and a big Johnson.
Starring:  Kevin Hart, Dwayne Johnson
Plot: After he reunites with an old school pal through Facebook, a mild-mannered accountant is lured into the world of international espionage.
Running Time: 114 minutes

Ken: Feels like a pretty cookie cutter buddy cop movie. Love the Rock and Hart though, so I might rent this one later.
Jim: Looks like an enjoyably dumb time-waster.
Chris: I laughed a lot in the trailer.  Kevin Hart is a favorite of mine.  And who doesn’t love the Rock?
Jessica: NO THANK YOU. Looks really, really, REALLY dumb.

Swiss Army Man (A24) – Adventure/Comedy/Drama
Rated R for language and sexual material
Tag Line: We all need some body to lean on.
Starring: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Daniel Radcliffe
Plot: A hopeless man stranded in the wilderness befriends a dead body and together they go on a surreal journey to get home.
Running Time: 95 minutes

Jessica: I don’t know … I just … Ugh … This movie makes me feel icky.
Ken: Daniel Radcliff makes Wilson look like a piece of crap. So bizarre that I might have to check this one out.
Jim: Huh?

Chris: *Yawn*

Clown (Dimension) – Horror/Fantasy
Rated R for horror violence and gore, and for language
Tag Line: The kids aren’t alright.
Starring: Andy Powers, Laura Allen
Plot: A loving father finds a clown suit for his son’s birthday party, only to realize that it is not a suit at all.
Running Time: 100 minutes

Chris:  Couldn’t find a distributor for two years?  It does not paint the whole picture, but I am not encouraged.
Jessica: NO WAY EVER. I hate frackin’ clowns. Now and forever until the end of time.
Ken: Aqua Team Hunger Force already did this in the classic episode, “The Clowning”.
Jim: This could be a good scary movie underneath the terrible trailer.

Tickets Purchased:  Two for Finding Dory (Chris and Jim) and Jessica stays home with Orange is the New Black

She may be simple, but we share the same passions.
She may be simple, but we share the same passions.
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Trailer Snark (January 15 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: All hail Star Wars!  The Force Awakens racked up another $41.6M in receipts bringing its total domestic haul to $812M.  Incredible.  The Revenant came in second in its first wide release week with $38M.  Daddy’s Home brought the laughs to the tune of $15M ($116M overall) for third place.  And The Forest debuted at number four with $13M.  The rest of the top ten played out like this:  Sisters ($7.1/$74.8M), The Hateful Eight ($6.3M/$41.4), The Big Short ($6.3M/$42.8M), Alvin and the Chipmunks ($5.5M/$75.6M), Joy ($4.5M/$46.5M), and Concussion ($3M/$$30.9M).  This week’s new box office contenders are…..

Ride Along 2 (Universal) – Comedy
Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence, sexual content, language and some drug material
Tag Line: The brother in-law are back.
Starring: Kevin Hart, Ice Cube, Olivia Munn, Benjamin Bratt
Plot: As his wedding day approaches, Ben heads to Miami with his soon-to-be brother-in-law James to bring down a drug dealer who’s supplying the dealers of Atlanta with product.
Running Time: 101 minutes

Chris: I still have not seen the first.  That said, it looks like a fun flick.
Ken: Ha, brothers in “law”. Anyone else see the irony in Ice Cube playing a police officer?
Jim: Haven’t seen the first one, but this looks funny. I’ll go along for the “Ride”…hee hee yuk yuk.
Rob: Um no.
Jessica: Ugh. P A S S.

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (Paramount) – Drama/Action
Rated R for strong combat violence throughout, bloody images, and language
Tag Line: In 2012, the threat level in Benghazi, Libya was deemed “critical”. When everything went wrong, six men had the courage to do what was right.
Starring: John Krasinski, James Badge Dale, Pablo Schreiber
Plot: An American Ambassador is killed during an attack at a U.S. compound in Libya as a security team struggles to make sense out of the chaos.
Running Time: 144 minutes

Jessica: When I saw Michael Bay’s name I gave up all hope of it being anywhere near realistic but hey, there will be great action and things will go boom.
Chris: My clear winner this week.  Gripping look at a tragedy the government does not want you to know too much about.
Ken: It’s a Michael Bay war adaptation, which is why most of the movie will focus on an incomprehensible love triangle and not the real story behind the 2012 attacks.
Jim: It looked like Zero Dark Thirty 2 until I saw Michael Bay’s name. This can’t possibly be good.
Rob: I’m curious to see how close this picture comes to painting the truth.  But is it too soon for a film on this somewhat recent event?

Norm of the North (Lionsgate) – Animation/Family
Rated PG for mild rude humor and action
Tag Line: Before he can save the Arctic… he’ll need a little help.
Starring: Rob Schneider, Heather Graham
Plot: Displaced from their Arctic home, a polar bear named Norm and his three lemming friends wind up in New York City, where Norm becomes the mascot of a corporation he soon learns is tied to the fate of his homeland.
Running Time: 86 minutes

Rob: Animation looks pretty good, but not really interested.  Will maybe catch it on Netflix down the road.
Jessica: No thank you! I like dancing animals but this did nothing for me.
Chris: Cookie cutter kid fare.  I am sure 3 out 4 kids will approve.
Ken: Unbearable.  Come on, you were all thinking it.
Jim: I was subjected to this trailer in a movie theater. Couldn’t do it again.

Band of Robbers (Gravitas Ventures) – Adventure/Crime
Not Rated
Tag Line: From Mark Twain’s iconic books.
Starring: Kyle Gallner, Adam Nee, Matthew Gray Gubler
Plot: Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn are grown men, still searching for the hidden treasure that has eluded them since childhood.
Running Time: 95 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sftM3Hx98f4
Ken: I like the idea of doing a modern retelling of Mark Twain, but the trailer didn’t do much for me. I might give it a watch when it comes out on demand.
Jim: As Ken said, a modern retelling of Twain would be nice, but the trailer was pretty bland and uninteresting. Oh well, I think we have our kind-of modern Twain retelling in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off—am I right? 🙂
Rob: Mildly interesting premise, but no thanks.
Jessica: I want to say I’ll watch this but that’s like saying I’ll one day tap dance for the Pope so yeah, nope.
Chris: I agree with Ken on this one.  The premise exceeds the delivery it would seem from the trailer.  Perhaps a pleasant small screen surprise?

The Benefactor (Samuel Goldwyn Films) – Drama
Not Rated
Tag Line: His helps comes at a price.
Starring: Richard Gere, Dakota Fanning
Plot: A philanthropist meddles in the lives of newly-married couples in an attempt to relive his past.
Running Time: 90 minutes

Jim: Looks interesting, possible rental.
Chris: Wow….it reminded me of Mr. Brooks with a more tragic beginning.  Unsettling.
Ken: Gere’s been taking on some very dark roles recently and it seems to be paying off. Not my type of movie but the trailer was plenty disturbing. Could be fun if you are into thrillers.
Rob: Gere and Fanning are talented, but this is a rental at best.
Jessica: Interesting but an at home viewer if ever.

Tickets Purchased: One for Ride Along 2 (Jim) and One for 13 Hours (Chris).  Ken and Rob go see Star Wars again to make sure it breaks all the records, and Jessica sits at home with a repeat viewing of The Martian.

Not really a Force Awakens spoiler.  Emails show who ordered the destruction of Alderaan.
Not really a Force Awakens spoiler. Emails show who ordered the destruction of Alderaan.