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Trailer Snark (September 22, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Eric from View from Above, Robert from Cards and Counters, Wayne from The Dope Sheet, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Kingsman: The Golden Circle (20th Century Fox) – Action/Adventure/Comedy
Rated R for sequences of strong violence, drug content, language throughout and some sexual material
Tag Line: Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Starring: Taron Egerton, Colin Firth, Julianne Moore
Plot: When their headquarters are destroyed and the world is held hostage, the Kingsman’s journey leads them to the discovery of an allied spy organization in the US. These two elite secret organizations must band together to defeat a common enemy.
Running Time: 141 minutes

Rob F: I pledge my spear and sword to Prince Oberyn of House Martell. Pedro Pascal is a phenomenal actor and he isn’t even listed in the credits. Halle Berry isn’t half-bad either. Overall, this looks like an action-packed, fun romp through “The Secret Service” comic world created by Mark Millar and Dave Gibbons. Sign me up.
Wayne: Action packed with a killer cast. I hope this one lives up to the hype. The first one was surprisingly good and has set the bar high for the sequel. I’m buying this.
Chris: The very first time I read Mark Millar’s The Secret Service #1, I knew this Kingsman property was something special. The first movie only solidified that position. We may not get Samual L Jackson’s villainous lisp, but you know what we get is going to be good.
Jim: First one was a decent actioner, this one looks to be more of the same—rental. In the barrage of images laboring to get my attention, the coolest was of Colin Firth firing from his umbrella. 

The Lego Ninjago Movie (Warner Bros) – Animation/Action/Adventure
Rated PG for some mild action and rude humor
Tag Line: Find your inner piece.
Starring: Jackie Chan, Dave Franco, Fred Armisen, Michael Pena
Plot: Six young ninjas Lloyd, Jay, Kai, Cole, Zane and Nya are tasked with defending their island home, called Ninjago. By night, they’re gifted warriors, using their skills and awesome fleet of vehicles to fight villains and monsters. By day, they’re ordinary teens struggling against their greatest enemy: high school.
Running Time: 101 minutes

Jim: More high octane humor from the Lego people, quips and gags whipping by faster than the human brain can process them. Rental.
Rob F: My six year old would never forgive me if I didn’t bring her to see this one. She’s been talking about it for months and is a huge fan of the toys and the seven seasons of the show. What’s not to love? Legos plus ninjas plus time with my youngest. Hard to beat that! It’s spinjitsu time!
Wayne: Who doesn’t like Lego’s? I don’t think this will be as successful as Lego Batman, but kids love this stuff and it has spilled over to adults with the Lego Movie. Ya, I’ll check it out. I’m buying this.
Chris: I previously doubted the Lego Batman movie based on the trailer, and was proven wrong. I am not going to doubt the creators again, but it won’t be on the big screen for me.

Battle of the Sexes (Fox Searchlight) – Biography/Comedy/Sports
Rated PG-13 for some sexual content and partial nudity
Tag Line: He made a bet.  She made history.
Starring: Emma Stone, Steve Carell, Andrea Riseborough
Plot: The true story of the 1973 tennis match between World number one Billie Jean King and ex-champ and serial hustler Bobby Riggs.
Running Time: 121 minutes

Chris: It’s 40 Year Old Wash-up vs. Billy Jean Tennis Queen. Yeah, I am interested, but again it won’t be in the cineplex.
Jim: Now we’re cookin.’ Two great actors in a story worth constructing a movie around.
Rob F: Emma Stone vs. Steve Carell; Billy Jean King vs. Bobby Riggs. Based on the true story of a fabled tennis match that took place in 1973 at the Houston Astrodome. It may still be the most viewed tennis match in history. The build up was intense and showcased emerging feminism and of course it’s counterpart. “I’m gonna put the show back in chauvinism.” ~Bobby Riggs. Looks entertaining, and would definitely watch at home, but not a big screen take for this moviegoer.
Wayne: I’m old enough to remember seeing this on Wide World of Sports. I’m not certain this movie will be overly successful, but the cast alone has me sold and I’m interested in the story of how this came together. I’m buying this.

Friend Request (Entertainment Studios) – Horror/Thriller
Rated R for horror violence, disturbing images, and language
Tag Line: Evil is trending.
Starring: Alycia Debnam-Carey, William Mosely
Plot: A popular college student graciously accepts a social outcast’s online friend request, but soon finds herself fighting a demonic presence that wants to make her lonely by killing her closest friends.
Running Time: 92 minutes

Wayne: (yawn) Ya, not buying this. Moving on.
Chris: This is my genre, but this looks woefully bad. Deleting this Friend Request.
Jim: Laughable, but fascinating. It’s schlock, but might be worth looking at for the cheese factor alone.
Rob F: Paranormal unfriend request on Facebook. Meh. Not my genre.

Victoria & Abdul (Focus Features) – Biography/Drama/History
Rated PG-13 for some thematic elements and language
Tag Line: History’s most unlikely friendship.
Starring: Judi Dench, Ali Fazal
Plot: Queen Victoria strikes up an unlikely friendship with a young Indian clerk named Abdul Karim.
Running Time: 112 minutes

Rob F: Judi Dench as Queen of England and Empress of India. Based on a true and what looks to be interesting story about an unlikely friendship and the evolving human condition. Not a big screen flick, but I’d enjoy it.
Wayne: This looks like a charming story, but not enough to pull me into a theater. I will check it out when it comes to Netflix. Going to sell this.
Chris: Long Live the Queen! Judi Dench is a fantastic actress, and this one could be one of those understated gems, humanizing the British royalty. But didn’t we just see virtually the same film just a few weeks back (The Viceroy’s something or other), except that one was in India.
Jim: And one for the Mahstahpiece Theatuh crowd—Dame Judi’s always worth watching, looks worthwhile.

Stronger (Lionsgate) – Biography/Drama
Rated R for language throughout, some graphic injury images, and brief sexuality/nudity
Tag Line: Strength defines us.
Starring: Jake Gylenhaal, Tatiana Maslany, Miranda Richardson
Plot: Stronger is the inspiring real life story of Jeff Bauman, an ordinary man who captured the hearts of his city and the world to become a symbol of hope following the infamous 2013 Boston Marathon bombing.
Running Time: 116 minutes

Jim: Yeah, I tried to fight it, but it got me. I felt the lump forming in my throat about 15 seconds in.
Rob F: I can’t. I just can’t watch this. It’s too soon. When I do watch it, you can bet it will be in the privacy of my own home. #BostonStrong #FTerrorism
Wayne: This movie is primed to pull at your heart strings. I’m going to sell this though. The struggle is real for this person, but I’m just not compelled to see it in the theater.
Chris: My heart was just ripped from my chest with that trailer. Yeah, I am in.

Woodshock (A24) – Drama/Thriller
Rated R for drug use, language and a scene of violence
Tag Line: None
Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Joe Cole
Plot: A woman falls deeper into paranoia after taking a deadly drug.
Running Time: 100 minutes

Chris: I love Kirsten Dunst, but this movie looks a bit too psychedelic for my taste. Cheech & Chong meets Cabin Fever weird.
Jim: Huh?
Rob F: Pass. Not even really sure what was happening in that trailer, but I think that was their goal.
Wayne: After seeing Mother!, I’m gun shy about going into a movie that I’m not certain what I’m going to get. This looks strange and familiar and I’m not willing to put my money on the line that I’m going to get a story worth seeing. I’m selling this.

Tickets Purchased: Two for Kingsman (Wayne and Chris), One for Ninjago (Rob), and One for Battle of the Sexes (Jim)

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Trailer Snark (June 21, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Eric from View from Above, Robert from Cards and Counters, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Transformers: The Last Knight (Paramount) – Action/Sci-Fi
Rated PG-13 for violence and intense sequences of sci-fi action, language, and some innuendo
Tag Line: For one world to live, the other must die.
Starring:  Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Hopkins
Plot: Humans and Transformers are at war, Optimus Prime is gone. The key to saving our future lies buried in the secrets of the past, in the hidden history of Transformers on Earth.
Running Time: 149 minutes

Chris: The news of plans for 14 more films had a suddenly wearying effect on me.  Yeah, you read that right.
Jim: I was born about 10 years too early to get excited about the mention of the word Transformers. I’ve only seen the first movie in this franchise and thought it was Ok as time-wasting popcorn flicks go. The trailers for the rest of them have just looked boring in that we’re-gonna-shove-CGI-down-your-throat-until-you-beg-for-mercy way. Including this one.
Wayne: I’ve given up on the trailers because they are always better than the movies.  With that said, I saw it last (k)night.

You can read Wayne’s review of the movie at The Dope Sheet right here!

The Big Sick (Lionsgate) – Comedy/Romance
Rated R for language including some sexual references
Tag Line: An awkward love story.
Starring: Kumail Nanjiani, Zoe Kazan, Ray Romano
Plot: A couple deals with their cultural differences as their relationship grows.
Running Time: 119 minutes

Wayne: Interesting movie, surely going to be a tear jerker.  Going to sell this one and wait for Netflix.
Chris: Nice to see Ray Romano in a feature film that isn’t animated, but I found the laughs hard to come by in this trailer.  Pass.
Jim: This looks like it could be a great romcom. Hope all of the good moments aren’t in the trailer.

The Beguiled (Focus Features) – Drama
Rated R for some sexuality
Tag Line: None
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Kirsten Dunst, Elle Fanning, Colin Farrell
Plot: At a girls’ school in Virginia during the Civil War, where the young women have been sheltered from the outside world, a wounded Union soldier is taken in. Soon, the house is taken over with sexual tension, rivalries, and an unexpected turn of events.
Running Time: 93 minutes

Jim: Interesting-looking remake of the ’71 Clint Eastwood classic. The cast certainly helps.
Wayne: Going to sell this trailer.  I don’t care for time period pieces like this and I also don’t find this cast ensemble appealing.   
Chris: Now we’re talking!  Kirsten Dunst and Nicole Kidman sharing the screen together is a treat.  Add in some Colin Farrel and a touch of revenge and you have yourself some pretty good cinematic potential!

The Bad Batch (Neon) – Romance/Sci-Fi
Rated R for violence, language, some drug content and brief nudity
Tag Line: None
Starring: Suki Waterhouse, Jason Momoa
Plot: A dystopian love story in a Texas wasteland and set in a community of cannibals.
Running Time: 118 minutes

Chris: What is this?  Some kind of Mad Max meets Hills Have Eyes meets Rob Zombie hybrid?  May be a rental, even if that, to be honest.  The Bad Batch is right.
Jim: Looks like a bad Tarantino knockoff minus the humor. Pass.
Wayne: Looks like a great cast, but has the feel of an 80’s film with no direction.  Going to sell this trailer.

Tickets Purchased: One for Transformers (Wayne), One for The Big Sick (Jim), and One for The Beguiled (Chris)

We just could not agree this week.
We just could not agree this week.
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Trailer Snark (March 18, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week:  Zootopia makes it two weeks in a row in the top slot, fending off a challenge from 10 Cloverfield Lane and others with ease.  The animated Disney hit took in another $50M to bring its total to $142.6M.  The aforementioned Cloverfield sequel managed a $25.2M opening in second.  Deadpool held fast in third with another $10.8M to add to its $328M total and just ahead of fourth place London Has Fallen ($10.6M/$38.8M).  Whiskey Tango Foxtrot rounded out the top five ($4.6M/$14.5M).  Three other debuts occupied the sixth through eighth, but failing to make much of an impact as follows:  The Perfect Match ($4.1M), The Young Messiah ($3.4M), and The Brothers Grimsby ($3.1M).  Gods of Egypt placed ninth ($2.5M/$27.3M) and Risen in tenth ($2.2M/$32.3M).  And now lets look at this week’s new releases.

Allegiant Pt 1 (Lionsgate) – Action/Drama
Rated PG-13 for intense violence and action, thematic elements, and some partial nudity
Tag Line: What makes us different ties us together.
Starring:  Shailene Woodley, Naomi Watts, Jeff Daniels, Theo James
Plot: After the earth-shattering revelations of Insurgent, Tris must escape with Four beyond the wall that encircles Chicago to finally discover the shocking truth of what lies behind it.
Running Time: 121 minutes

Chris: Sadly, I will probably see this one in theaters due to a teen kid, but it won’t be by choice.
Jessica: Never made it through the 1st one, couldn’t possibly care less about this one.
Jim: Or The Slumber Games Part 12. The first one didn’t impress me.  I’m beginning to get tired of CGI stunts with mere mortals doing things that their bodies couldn’t possibly do in real life. No thanks.
Rob: Pass.  On the series.

Miracles from Heaven (TriStar) – Drama
Rated PG for thematic material, including accident and medical images
Tag Line: How do you explain the impossible?
Starring: Jennifer Garner, Kylie Rogers, Queen Latifah
Plot: A young girl suffering from a rare digestive disorder finds herself miraculously cured after surviving a terrible accident.
Running Time: 109 minutes

Rob: Pass.  On the “miracle”.
Chris: Another emotional roller coaster type true story.  Bad things happening to kids is always tough to watch on screen, but at least this one shows a victory in the end.
Jessica: This one did nothing for me, a typical story about kids getting hurt and a “miracle”, not really something that makes me run to the theater.
Jim: Life is scary enough without having to sit through sick kid movies, even if there’s a happy ending. Pass.

Midnight Special (Warner Bros) – Adventure/Drama/Sci-Fi
Rated PG-13 for some violence and action
Tag Line: He’s not like us.
Starring: Michael Shannon, Joel Edgerton, Kirsten Dunst, Adam Driver
Plot: A father and son go on the run after the dad learns his child possesses special powers.
Running Time: 111 minutes

Jim: Interesting-looking rental.
Rob: This looks like a possible rental down the road, but not big screen caliber for me.
Chris: OK, I just had to watch that trailer twice.  I don’t know what is going on, but I want to find out!
Jessica: Oh yes! Great actors, looks like an interesting story. If this is done right it could be really good.

The Bronze (Sony Picture Classics) – Comedy
Rated R for strong sexual content, graphic nudity, language throughout and some drug use
Tag Line:  There’s no place like third.
Starring: Melissa Rauch, Gary Cole, Sebastian Stan
Plot: A foul-mouthed former gymnastics bronze medalist must fight for her local celebrity status when a new young athlete’s star rises in town.
Running Time: 108 minutes

Jessica: Well, huh, this looks either really funny or really bad, not quite sure which it is yet.
Jim: This looks funny, although there’s the possibility that it could wear pretty thin after about 20 minutes.
Rob: Pass.  Wow, rough week.
Chris: Melissa Rauch steps out of Big Bang Theory for a different kind of laugh.  The trailer didn’t exactly have me in stitches, but I’ll check it out on Netflix down the road.

The Program (Entertainment One) – Bio/Drama/Sports
Rated R for language
Tag Line: Winning was in his blood.
Starring: Ben Foster, Chris O’Dowd
Plot: An Irish sports journalist becomes convinced that Lance Armstrong’s performances during the Tour de France victories are fueled by banned substances. With this conviction, he starts hunting for evidence that will expose Armstrong.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Chris: Like so many others, I was crushed to find out that Lance Armstrong doped his way to legend.  Ben Foster seems perfectly cast here.  I am in.
Jessica: I LOVE Ben Foster (310 To Yuma, brilliance) but i really have no interest in Lance Armstrong’s story. Possibly at-home viewer for me.
Jim: I know that Lance has his followers, but I’m not interested, despite the great cast. OK, so kill me, I’m more interested in an embittered gymnast!
Rob: I’d rent this down the road, but again another film that really doesn’t need a theatrical release.

Krisha (A24) – Comedy/Drama
Rated R for language, substance abuse and some sexual content
Tag Line: None
Starring: Krisha Fairchild, Olivia Grace Applegate
Plot: Krisha returns for Thanksgiving dinner after ten years away from her family, but past demons threaten to ruin the festivities.
Running Time: 83 minutes

Rob: Zero interest.  Pass.
Chris:  I was a bit disturbed by the trailer on some level.  Family dysfunction is on full display here.
Jessica: Meh. Seen movies like this many times before, it might be good but I might just not care enough to watch it. We get enough dysfunction in reality.
Jim: Predictable-looking dysfunctional family saga.

Tickets Purchased:  One for Midnight Special (Chris) and One for The Bronze (Jim).  Rob and Jessica at home watching the new season of Daredevil.

Word is Thirst, or was it Third is Worst?
Word is Thirst, or was it Third is Worst?