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Trailer Snark (March 10, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Kong: Skull Island (Warner Bros) – Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and for brief strong language.
Tag Line: Awaken the King.
Starring: Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L Jackson
Plot: A team of scientists, soldiers and adventurers unites to explore an uncharted island in the Pacific. Cut off from everything they know, the team ventures into the domain of the mighty Kong. As their mission becomes one of survival, they must fight to escape a primal Eden.
Running Time: 120 minutes

Jessica: It’s ALL about King Kong for me this week so I can’t even deal with any of these other silly films. ūüėČ
Jim: JL, I wholeheartedly share your enthusiasm. The original ’33 King, to me, is still the greatest adventure film of all time (I even like Son of Kong and the original Mighty Joe Young) and Peter Jackson’s remake was pretty awesome.¬† The original just gets better every time I see it.¬† Seeing this one on Wednesday, can’t wait! Great cast, good trailer (although shows a bit too much). The other movies just don’t have a chance.
Chris: I’d love to play Devil’s Advocate here, but the moment I saw this trailer I knew I needed to make it a priority to witness it in all of it’s Big Screen glory!

Raw (Focus World) – Drama/Horror
Rated R for aberrant behavior, bloody and grisly images, strong sexuality, nudity, language and drug use/partying
Tag Line: What are you hungry for?
Starring: Garance Marrilier, Ella Rumpf
Plot: When a young vegetarian undergoes a carnivorous hazing ritual at vet school, an unbidden taste for meat begins to grow in her.
Running Time: 99 minutes

Chris:  Hold the bath salts, thank you.  <Puke>
Jessica: No giant apes?  No Loki?  Pass.
Jim: This looks scarier than Kong.

The Ottoman Lieutenant (Paladin) – Drama/War
Rated R for some war violence
Tag Line: In a land on the brink of war the most dangerous place to be is in love.
Starring: Michiel Huisman, Ben Kingsley, Josh Hartnett
Plot: The Ottoman Lieutenant is a love story between an idealistic American nurse and a Turkish officer in World War I.
Running Time: 106 minutes
Chris: Certainly looks better than the Ben Kingsley film we looked at here two weeks ago, but not good enough to drag me to the theater.
Jessica: Nope, not KK.

Personal Shopper (IFC Films) – Mystery/Drama/Thriller
Rated R for some language, sexuality, nudity and a bloody violent image
Tag Line: None
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Lars Edlinger
Plot: Revolves around a ghost story that takes place in the fashion underworld of Paris.
Running Time: 105 minutes

Jessica: Unless they’re buying GIANT shoes for Kingy Kongy, I’ll pass!
Jim: I liked Clouds of Sils Maria, looks interesting (I’m waiting for Kristen Stewart jokes from SOMEbody).
Chris: I suggest a cross-over film where King Kong visit Paris and eats Kristen Stewart, downing her with a glass of wine, while the Ottoman Empire rises and invades Western Europe. I think that covers a combination of all this week’s previous trailers and delivers Jim from disappointment.

The Sense of an Ending (CBS Films) – Drama
Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, a violent image, sexuality and brief strong language
Tag Line: Unravel the truth.
Starring: Jim Broadbent, Charlotte Rampling, Harriet Walter
Plot: A man becomes haunted by his past and is presented with a mysterious legacy that causes him to re-think his current situation in life.
Running Time: 108 minutes

Chris: This one actually caught me by surprise.  Refreshingly understated reflective mystery.
Jessica: I sense an ending with a GIANT APE.
Jim: Maybe worth a rental ’cause of the premise.

The Other Half (Brainstorm Media) – Dram/Romance
Not Rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: Tatiana Maslany, Tom Cullen
Plot: A bipolar woman and a grief-stricken man struggle to forge a simple life.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Jim: ZZZZZZ part two.
Chris:¬† Two minutes…..all it took to put me to sleep.¬† Probably the darkest (literally) trailer I have ever seen.
Jessica: If the other half of the other half isn’t Kong, I’ll pass.

The Dark Below (Parade Deck Films) – Thriller
Not Rated
Tag Line: Silence is the most powerful scream.
Starring: Lauren Mae Shafer, Veronica Cartwright
Plot: A woman struggles for survival beneath a frozen lake while a serial killer stalks her from the surface.

Jessica: I came up with lots of jokes that are not printable so I’ll just say, not Kong, not for me!
Jim: Looks pretty intense, whatever it is. Veronica Cartwright, wow!
Chris: Love the concept. Cat and very wet mouse.

Tickets Purchased:  Three for Kong!


What are Samuel Jackson's Vegas odds on survival in this film?
What are Samuel Jackson’s Vegas odds on survival in this film?
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Trailer Snark (November 11, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk (Sony) – Drama
Rated R for language throughout, some war violence, sexual content, and brief drug use
Tag Line: None
Starring: Joe Alwyn, Kristen Stewart, Vin Diesel, Steve Martin
Plot: 19-year-old Billy Lynn is brought home for a victory tour after a harrowing Iraq battle. Through flashbacks the film shows what really happened to his squad – contrasting the realities of war with America’s perceptions.
Running Time:  110 minutes

Jessica: I usually enjoy a well done war movie, but I’m not sure about this one. The trailer really doesn’t tell me much about why it’s called “The Long Halftime Walk”, but then again, I can’t take Vin Diesel as a serious actor so that might be why i feel so lukewarm to this one!
Jim: This week’s trailers don’t bode well for the Holiday Movie season. The solemn chorus is telling me that I should feel moved, but have to admit it left me cold. Still, the fact that it’s an Ang Lee movie gives me hope.
Chris:¬† It’s a double dose of heck no with both Vin Diesel and Kristen Stewart in starring roles.¬† That is enough to kill my interest.

Almost Christmas (Universal) – Comedy/Drama
Rated PG-13 for suggestive material, drug content and language
Tag Line: Five days together?  Oh joy!
Starring: Kimberly Elise, Omar Epps, Danny Glover
Plot: A dysfunctional family gathers together for their first Christmas since their mom died.
Running Time: 112 minutes

Chris: This one seems full of yuletide jeer……pass.
Jessica: Blah. I’d rather see Bad Santa 2!
Jim: Looks more like Festivus. Nah.

Arrival (Paramount) – Drama/Mystery/Sci-Fi
Rated PG-13 for brief strong language
Tag Line:  Why are they here?
Starring:  Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner, Forest Whitaker
Plot: A linguist is recruited by the military to assist in translating alien communications.
Running Time: 116 minutes

Jim: Yet another Close Encounters/Independence Day knockoff.
Chris: Effective trailer that amps up the drama.  Plus the wife loves Amy Adams (her favorite actress, thanks to Enchanted). 
Jessica: I’ve seen this trailer a lot recently and I just don’t care what’s going on. Something about it just annoys the holy heck out of me.

Shut In (EuropaCorp USA) – Drama/Thriller
Rated PG-13 for terror and some violence/bloody images, nudity, thematic elements and brief strong language
Tag Line: Don’t believe everything you see.
Starring:  Naomi Watts, Oliver Platt, Charlie Heaton
Plot: A heart-pounding thriller about a widowed child psychologist who lives in an isolated existence in rural New England. Caught in a deadly winter storm, she must find a way to rescue a young boy before he disappears forever.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Jessica: Ditto for this one. Look like well trod ground and unless someone can tell me it’s not, I’ll pass.
Jim: (cue Homer Simpson voice) Booooring!
Chris: The trailer left me cold, but without that spine-tingling shiver.  Naomi Watts is always fantastic, but this one is probably better left as a home viewer.

The Love Witch (Oscilliscope) – Comedy/Horror
Not Rated
Tag Line: She loved men….to death.
Starring: Samantha Robinson, Laura Waddell
Plot: A modern-day witch uses spells and magic to get men to fall in love with her, in a tribute to 1960s pulp novels and Technicolor melodramas.
Running Time: 120 minutes

Chris:¬† Not with Jim’s eyes, and Jess’ wallet.
Jessica:¬† this was the most horrible, long-winded, horrible trailer I’ve ever seen. I get what they were trying for but they told the ENTIRE STORY in this trailer and it just looks awful. Pass.
Jim: Yeah, this was…UNBELIEVABLY bad. Almost like a fake SNL trailer, except not funny.

Tickets Purchased: One for Arrival (Chris) while both Jim and Jessica stay home to watch old Jack Sparrow movies and eat chocolate.

Can I come crash your house?
Can I come crash your house?


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Trailer Snark (October 14, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

The Accountant (Warner Bros) – Action/Crime/Drama
Rated R for strong violence and language throughout
Tag Line:  Calculate your choices.
Starring:  Ben Affleck, Anna Kendrick
Plot: As a math savant uncooks the books for a new client, the Treasury Department closes in on his activities and the body count starts to rise.
Running Time: 128 minutes

Jessica: Oh I’m 100% into this one. Great cast, interesting premise. Looks like a fun and possibly violent romp.
Jim: Looks solid and gripping. A good Affleck here, I’m in.
Chris: After checking my balances, I have determined that the assets outweigh the liabilities and I will be glad to exercise my options for this movie.

Kevin Hart:  What Now? (Universal) РDocumentary/Comedy
Rated R for some sexual material, and language throughout
Tag Line: The comedy event of the year.
Starring:  Kevin Hart, Halle Berry, Don Cheadle
Plot: Comedian Kevin Hart performs in front of a crowd of 50,000 people at Philadelphia’s outdoor venue, Lincoln Financial Field.
Running Time: 96 minutes

Chris:¬† I’ll watch it on Netflix for sure.¬† KH brings the comedy for me.
Jessica: Don’t care. He’s annoying as hell and this movie looks like a waste of money.
Jim: Irritating and in-your-face.

Max Steel (Open Road Films) – Action/Adventure
Rated PG-13 for some sci-fi action violence
Tag Line: Unleash your power.
Starring: Ben Winchell, Josh Brener
Plot: The adventures of teenager Max McGrath and his alien companion, Steel, who must harness and combine their tremendous new powers to evolve into the turbo-charged superhero Max Steel.
Running Time: 92 minutes

Jim: Looks like spare parts from half a dozen superhero movies put in a blender. Dull, dull, dull.
Chris:  Disinterest to the Max.
Jessica: My boyfriend got really excited about this one, though I can’t say the same. It looks a bit cheesy to me and not really something I care too much about seeing in the theater.

Certain Women (IFC Films) – Drama
Rated R for some language
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Kristen Stewart, Michelle Williams
Plot: The lives of three women intersect in small-town America, where each is imperfectly blazing a trail.
Running Time: 107 minutes

Jessica: I’m all for a movie about independent women, but does it have to star Kristen Stewart? She is about as interesting as a paper sack, actually, I’d rather watch the paper sack. I honestly got bored watching the trailer. Pass on this one.
Jim: It’s amazing how¬† often a quiet trailer full of people talking can make a movie look interesting.
Chris: ACK!  Kristen Stewart alert!  WARNING! WARNING!  Jessica and I may have to start a support group. 

Priceless (Roadside Attractions) – Drama/Romance
Rated PG-13 for mature thematic material involving human trafficking, and some violence
Tag Line: You’re priceless.
Starring: Joel Smallbone, David Koechner
Plot: A widower who loses custody of his daughter finds himself unable to hold down a job. He agrees to drive a truck across the country, no questions asked. But when he discovers what he is delivering, he is faced with a life-changing choice.
Running Time: 97 minutes

Chris: Might be a descent rental.  Its the guy from For King and Country!
Jessica: Ugh. This went down a remarkably cheesy trailer path for such a story. Pass.
Jim: Meh.

Tickets Purchased:  Two for The Accountant (Jessica and Chris) and One for Certain Women (Jim)

I'm Batma....ahem, at your service for all your accounting needs!
I’m Batma….ahem, at your service for all your accounting needs!


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Trailer Snark (July 15, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Finding Dory was finally dethroned and it took another family-friendly animated film to do it!¬† The Secret Life of Pets took in $103.1M in its opening weekend.¬† In second place was The Legend of Tarzan with another $20.6M to add to its $81.4M total.¬† The aforementioned Finding Dory came in third doing great business at $20.3M and an astounding $422.5M total domestic.¬† Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates debuted in fourth with $16.6M.¬† Rounding out the top five was The Purge: Election Year ($11.7M/$58.1M).¬† The rest of the top ten went as follows: Central Intelligence ($8.1M/$108.3M), Independence Day: Resurgence ($7.7M/$91.4M), The BFG ($7.6M/$38.7M), The Shallows ($4.8M/$45.8M), and Sultan ($2.2M/$3.2M).¬† Here are this week’s new entries…..

Ghostbusters (Columbia) – Sci-Fi/Comedy
Rated PG-13 for supernatural action and some crude humor
Tag Line: Who You Gonna Call?
Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon
Plot: Following a ghost invasion of Manhattan, paranormal enthusiasts Erin Gilbert and Abby Yates, nuclear engineer Jillian Holtzmann, and subway worker Patty Tolan band together to stop the otherworldly threat.
Running Time: 116 minutes

Jessica: I LOVE the originals (yes, even the sequel so hush) but I also adore Paul Feige and this crew of ladies so I am really excited about this movie. Even after hearing it’s not perfect but a lot of fun, I’m still excited. Plus, Thor as their secretary???? Yes please!
Chris: Don’t tell my wife (she is hating on the relaunch), but I think this looks like a big bucket of buttered popcorn fun to me!

The Infiltrator (Broad Green) – Crime/Biography
Rated R for strong violence, language throughout, some sexual content and drug material
Tag Line: The true story of one man against the biggest drug cartel in history
Starring: Bryan Cranston, John Leguizamo
Plot: A U.S. Customs official uncovers a money laundering scheme involving Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar.
Running Time: 127 minutes

Chris: A look into the story of the people responsible for taking down one of the biggest criminal creeps in our lifetime?  Love this type of film!
Jessica: I would watch Bryan Cranston narrate stereo instructions in a dramatic fashion. He is just awesome and this looks fantastic.

Cafe Society (Lionsgate) – Comedy/Drama/Romance
Rated PG-13 for some violence, a drug reference, suggestive material and smoking
Tag Line: Anyone who is anyone will be seen at Café Society.
Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Steve Carrell, Kristen Stewart, Blake Lively
Plot: Set in the 1930s, a young Bronx native moves to Hollywood where he falls in love with the secretary of his powerful uncle, an agent to the stars. After returning to New York he is swept up in the vibrant world of high society nightclub life.
Running Time: 96 minutes

Jessica: 1. I STRONGLY DISLIKE Woody Allen and refuse to watch his movies. 2. I STRONGLY DISLIKE Kristen Stewart and often avoid her movies if I can. So yeah, BIG pass on this bore-fest for me. Even with a stellar cast I’m all sorts of set with never seeing it.
Chris:  I think Jessica summed up my thoughts quite nicely here.

Equals (A24) – Drama/Romance/Sci-Fi
Rated PG-13 for thematic content, sensuality, partial nudity and disturbing images
Tag Line: Find your equal.
Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Kristen Stewart
Plot: In an emotionless utopia, two people fall in love when they regain their feelings from a mysterious disease, causing tensions between them and their society.
Running Time: 101 minutes

Chris: Aside from the boring trailer, it is Kristen Stewart AGAIN!¬† Can’t stay far enough away.
Jessica: ANOTHER KRISTEN STEWART MOVIE!?!?!? I am trying to resist swearing. I didn’t even make it through the trailer. I’m almost 100% certain this has been done before (and better). PASS PASS PASS.

Undrafted (Vertical Entertainment) – Comedy/Drama
Not Rated
Tag Line: Twelve guys loved a game.¬† It didn’t love them back.
Starring:  James Belushi, Tyler Hoechlin, Joseph Mazzello
Plot: When twelve ragtag teammates set out to play what should be a meaningless summer intramural baseball game, it ends up becoming the most important game of their lives.
Running Time: 90 minutes
Chris:  Low rent fodder that should be going straight to DVD.
Jessica: Surprisingly cute looking. I’d watch this at home. It looks funny but with a heart (yep, I went with the cliche).

Tickets Purchased:  Two for Ghostbusters!

What do you want to see in the new Ghostbusters film?  Definitely the ghost of Bob Ross for me please!
What do you want to see in the new Ghostbusters film? Definitely the ghost of Bob Ross for me please!
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Trailer Snark (January 8 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week:¬† With no major new releases and only limited release films opening wide, The Force Awakens continued its obvious dominance becoming the biggest domestic film in US history.¬† $88.3M added to its coffers bringing the total to over $740M.¬† Mark Wahlberg’s Daddy’s Home was a very distant second with $29M.¬† The Hateful Eight came in at number three with $16.2M.¬† Sisters in fourth with $12.5M.¬† Fifth was Alvin and the Chipmunks with $11.8M.¬† The rest of the top ten was as follows:¬† Joy ($10.4M), The Big Short ($9M), Concussion ($8M), Point Break ($6.8M), The Hunger Games Mockingjay Pt 2 ($4.6M).¬† And now on to our new releases, which have a slim chance of usurping the sci fi juggernaut.

The Forest (Gramercy) – Horror
Rated PG-13 for disturbing thematic content and images
Tag Line: Where fear grows.
Starring:  Natalie Dormer, Eoin Macken
Plot: A young woman searches for her twin sister in a Japanese forest only to find herself surrounded by paranormal forces.
Running Time: 95 minutes

Chris: Is this another Japanese horror remake a la The Ring and The Grudge? ¬†I don’t know. ¬†Looks like it might be the type of movie to watch at home and scare the significant other, but not a theater view.
Jim: Yet another horror movie trailer that frightens me with it’s clich√©s. The movie might be worth seeing, but the trailer makes me think I’ve seen it all before.
Jessica:  Yawn.  Looks like a snooze fest.
Ken: The creepiness of this trailer got to me a few times. It could be a descent psychological horror film to watch at home. There’s an actual forest in Japan called Aokigahara that is infamous for being a popular suicide site, which makes this movie a bit more intriguing to me.

The Revenant (20th Century Fox) – Adventure/Thriller
Rated R for strong frontier combat and violence including gory images, a sexual assault, language and brief nudity.
Tag Line: None
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, Will Poulter
Plot: A frontiersman named Hugh Glass on a fur trading expedition in the 1820s is on a quest for survival after being brutally mauled by a bear.
Running Time: 156 minutes

Jim: A great trailer (even more effective in a movie theater)—I√Ī√°rritu is amazing (Birdman was great) and then there is Leo, one of the best actors today. Count me in.
Jessica: This looks like a winner to me. Brutal, engaging, wonderful performances. This is totally a want-to-see!
Ken: That looked awesome. Amazing cast, I loved the wilderness frontier backdrop. I’d go see this movie just to watch the rest of that bear fight.
Chris: Fantastic trailer.  If you are looking for a thriller/drama set in period piece frontier America, look no further.  DiCaprio looks to shine again.

Anomalis (Paramount) – Comedy/Drama
Rated R for strong sexual content, graphic nudity and language
Tag Line: None
Starring: David Thewlis, Jennifer Jason Leigh
Plot: A man crippled by the mundanity of his life experiences something out of the ordinary.
Running Time: 90 minutes
Jessica: Yeah this trailer doesn’t do much for me. It is a fascinating idea and I like Kauffman’s work but this is a free at-home viewing at best.
Ken: I’m a big fan of Kaufman‚Äôs existential moves. His past films have all had a very surreal quality to them. I‚Äôm interested to see how this one blends narrative, puppets and stop motion animation into something that looks and feels like real life.
Chris: No thank you.  Creepy animation, and not in a good way.
Jim: The reviews make this look interesting, but the trailer, sad to say, doesn’t.

The Masked Saint (Freestyle Releasing) – Drama/Action
Rated PG-13 for some violence and thematic elements
Tag Line: Husband. Pastor. Hero.
Starring: Roddy Piper, Brett Granstaff
Plot: Based on a true story about one pastor’s mission to help his community by risking his identity and returns to his former life as a wrestler. The triumphant story follows one man’s journey and struggle between helping others and the consequences he faces doing this.
Running Time: 111 minutes

Ken: This movie came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. Looks like it brought a whole lot of bubble gum. I might watch this just for the Rowdy!
Chris: It’s the socially-conscious Nacho Libre!
Jim: I second Chris’s Nacho Libre reference. ¬†Sorry, but this is hard to take as seriously as the trailer means to.
Jessica: Wait, this is SERIOUS movie? Oh man, did they ever miss the mark.

Anesthesia (IFC Films) – Drama/Thriller
Rated R for language, sexual content, drug use and brief violence
Tag Line: Who we don;t know can save us.
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Sam Waterson, Corey Stoll
Plot: Rated R for language, sexual content, drug use and brief violence
Running Time: 90 minutes

Jessica: I just watched the trailer and I can’t remember what this was about so to me that’s a sign that it’s not my cup of tea. Pass.
Ken: I just watched the trailer and I can’t remember what this was about so to me that’s a sign that it’s not my cup of tea. Pass.
Chris:  I pretty much skip anything with the supremely unlikable Kristen Stewart.
Jim: The feel-good movie of the year—not. Pass.

Yosemite (Monterey Media) – Drama
Rated R for some sexual material/nudity and language
Tag Line: Growing up is an adventure.
Starring: James Franco, Everett Meckler
Plot: Rated R for some sexual material/nudity and language
Running Time: 80 minutes

Jim: I’m not as impressed with James Franco as Hollywood and the media want me to be. At best, a rental.
Jessica: I don’t get the obsession with Franco. I loved him on Freaks and Geeks and after that, he’s an okay actor and this movie does nothing for me. Maybe it’s because I don’t at all identify with being a young boy coming of age.
Ken: When you see a group of young boys trekking across railroad tracks with sleeping bags strapped to their backs, you can’t help but remember Stand by Me. It looks like a boring remake of Stand by Me.
Chris: OK, the movie did not have to reference Stand By Me in the credits to immediately make me journey back to the time I watched that one as a kid. ¬†I can’t put my finger on the why, but this one just struck at my heart with an appeal that is too powerful to deny. ¬†Count me in!

Tickets Purchased: Two for The Revenant (Jim and Jessica), One for Anomalis (Ken), and One for Yosemite (Chris)

Rumor has it that Will Ferrell taught Leo some bear wrestling tactics before filming The Revenant.
Rumor has it that Will Ferrell taught Leo some bear wrestling tactics before filming The Revenant.
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Trailer Snark (August 21 Theatrical Releases)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week:¬† Straight Outta Compton busted out of the ghetto and into theaters with a storm taking in $56M.¬† Tom Cruise slipped to very distant second place with MI: Rogue Nation ($17M/$138M).¬† The Man from U.N.C.L.E. received some ordinary reviews and only could muster a third place $13.5M opening.¬† Fantastic Four held fourth place with $8M bringing its total to $42M overall.¬† It was a log-jam for the rest of the top ten, however as fifth place The Gift ($6.5M/$23.5M) only beat out the tenth place Trainwreck ($3.8M/$97M) by less than $3M.¬† Ant-Man, Vacation, Minions, and Ricki and the Flash in between in that order.¬† And now, onto our candidates for cinematic glory this week….

Sinister 2 (Blumhouse) – Horror
Rated R for strong violence, bloody and disturbing images, and language
Tag Line: None
Starring: James Ransone, Shannyn Sossamon, and Robert Daniel Sloan
Plot: A young mother and her twin sons move into a rural house that’s marked for death.
Running Time: 97 minutes

Chris: The first was an OK effort, but not nearly good enough for a visit to the theater. This one provides me the same feeling of mediocrity best left for home theater viewing.
Jessica: I barely remembered the first one until the showed the pic with Ethan Hawke and I don’t feel this needed a sequel. That being said, I know I’ll end up watching it at home when it’s on Netflix or something. Though I had a lot of problems with the first one, the biggest being it was so dark the big reveal at the end was less than interesting to me.
The first movie had some insanely creepy moments and the premise was solid, but the story fell apart at the end. I think given a budget and a decent script this could be a good horror film.

American Ultra (Lionsgate) – Action/Comedy
Rated R for strong bloody violence, language throughout, drug use and some sexual content
Tag Line: The ultimate secret agent becomes the ultimate target
Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Topher Grace, Connie Britton, John Leguizamo, and Bill Pullman.
Plot: A stoner – who is in fact a government agent – is marked as a liability and targeted for extermination. But he’s too well-trained and too high for them to handle.
Running Time: 95 minutes

Ken: That looked like a good amount of fun. Could be a sleeper.  
Chris: I like Jesse Eisenberg, but I absolutely loathe Kristen Stewart. ¬†Stoner comedy was funny to me back when I was in college, but I can only take small doses now…no, not small doses of reefer…I meant the comedy.
Jessica: I like Eisenberg but cannot stand Stewart so I’ll skip this one. I cannot possibly watch another movie where Stewart looks awkward and stutters.

Hitman:  Agent 47 (20th Century Fox) РAction
Rated R for sequences of strong violence, and some language
Tag Line:  None
Starring:  Rupert Friend, Hannah Ware, Zachary Quinto
Plot: An assassin teams up with a woman to help her find her father and uncover the mysteries of her ancestry.
Running Time: 96 minutes

Jessica: Never saw the first one and I don’t care! This looks like fun and I enjoy Quinto quite a bit, especially if he’s the bad guy. I love me a good action movie with totally improbable action sequences. Can I say action more? I CAN! I love action movies with lots of action!
Ken: As a fan of the game franchise, I can tell you honesty that this trailer did nothing for me. Hitman is stealth and precision, not car chases and romantic subplots. It got the CGI right though.
Chris: How many years has it been since the original? ¬†This one looks like a fun theater experience with some great action set pieces and fast-[aced fun. ¬†Some of the key elements to a traditional summer movie….and there aren’t many of those to enjoy remaining on our 2016 calendar.

Grandma (Sony Pictures Classics) – Comedy
Rated R for language and some drug use
Tag Line: None
Starring: Lily Tomlin, Julia Garner
Plot: Self-described misanthrope Elle Reid has her protective bubble burst when her 18-year-old granddaughter, Sage, shows up needing help. The two of them go on a day-long journey that causes Elle to come to terms with her past and Sage to confront her future.
Running Time: 79 minutes

Chris: Lily Tomlin looks to be rocking this role pretty well from the trailer. ¬†I’ll catch it in another medium.
Jessica: Love this. Love this so much I could watch the trailer a few times and still love it. It’s the kind of movie I’d want to see in the theater but will probably forget and see it at home but Lily Tomlin I adore and holy bejesus, Sam Elliot? I am SO ON BOARD
Ken: I love grandmas and I love Lily Tomlin, so it reasons that I would love this movie. But life is full of little surprises.  

6 Years (The Orchard) – Drama/Romance
Not Rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: Taissa Farmiga, Ben Rosenfield, Lindsay Burdge
Plot: A young couple bound by a seemingly ideal love, begins to unravel as unexpected opportunities spin them down a volatile and violent path and threaten the future they had always imagined.
Running Time: 85 minutes

Ken: So angsty.
Chris: Indie movie all the way…..and not the kind I am usually intrigued by,
Jessica: What exactly is the point? I’m too old to watch teenagers deal with their relationship ending or hitting a bump, I’ve been through enough of my own. Big ole pass on this pile of boring.

Digging for Fire (The Orchard) – Drama
Rated R for language including some sexual references, drug use and brief graphic nudity
Tag Line: None
Starring: Jake Johnson, Rosemarie DeWitt, and Orlando Bloom
Plot: The discovery of a bone and a gun send a husband and wife on separate adventures over the course of a weekend.
Running Time: 85 minutes

Jessica: What rock did Orlando Bloom crawl out from? This looks like it could actually be some fun and holy bejesus, Sam Eliott again??? And Sam Rockwell? I am in a heaven of awesome Sam’s. I’d watch this at home for sure, could be totally funny but “with a ¬†message” or something
Ken: “A fascinating character study” Translation – boring,
Chris: Orlando Bloom gets top billing here, but I think I only saw him in one scene in the entire trailer….maybe I just wasn’t focusing? ¬†I must have been digging for some pocket change to get me that second coffee I so desperately need. ¬†Yawn….

She’s Funny That Way (Lionsgate) – Comedy
Rated R for some language including sexual references
Tag Line: Showbiz has always been a little screwball.
Starring: Imogen Poots, Owen Wilson, Scott Campbell, and Jennifer Aniston
Plot: On the set of a playwright’s new project, a love triangle forms between his wife, her ex-lover, and the call girl-turned-actress cast in the production.
Running Time: 93 minutes

Chris:  I was prepared to disregard this one out of hand, but the Own Wilson/Jennifer Aniston comedy actually looks pretty entertaining with its ensemble cast.  Color me surprised.
Jessica: I’m all set with this one, it was just really unappealing.
Ken: She must be funny in that understated, not-funny kind of way.

Learning to Drive (Broad Green Pictures) – Comedy/Drama/Romance
Rated R for language and sexual content
Tag Line: It’s never too late to begin a new adventure.
Starring: Patricia Clarkson, Ben Kingsley, and Jake Weber
Plot: As her marriage dissolves, a Manhattan writer takes driving lessons from a Sikh instructor with marriage troubles of his own. In each other’s company they find the courage to get back on the road and the strength to take the wheel.
Running Time: 90 minutes

Ken: Of all the movies out this week, a movie about an over the hill odd couple feels the freshest.  
Chris: Kingsley plays an Sikh driving instructor whose student, played by Patricia Clarkson, is going through a personal crisis.  Driving skills seem to take a back seat to other life lessons in the process.  Looks charming in its own way, and I may catch it after market eventually.
Jessica: At first I was pretty blah about it but as the trailer went on, I think I kinda dig it. Looks totally charming.

Tickets Purchased:  1 ticket for Hitman:  Agent 47 (Chris), 1 ticket for Grandma (Jessica), and 1 ticket for Sinister 2 (Ken).  With no one to break a Trailer Snark first three-way tie, you be the judge!