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Trailer Snark (January 6, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

And now to kick off 2017!

Underworld: Blood Wars (Screen Gems) – Action/Horror
Rated R for strong bloody violence, and some sexuality
Tag Line: Protect the bloodline.
Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Theo James
Plot: Vampire death dealer, Selene (Kate Beckinsale) fights to end the eternal war between the Lycan clan and the Vampire faction that betrayed her.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Jessica: I think they need to stop with these movies. The first one was great, but they kind of lost me after. I think I was bored with the endless gun battles. They’re vampires and werewolves, they should have freakin MYSTICAL powers, why do they need so many guns!!!!!????
Jim: I was so bored by this trailer I could barely remember it 10 seconds after I watched it.
Chris: I liked the original, but the sequels have left me cold.  And I can’t help but think of Milla Jovovich from Resident Evil when I see Kate Beckinsale do her butt kicking in leather bit.  Wait for the small screen!

A Monster Calls (Focus Features) – Drama/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for thematic content and some scary images
Tag Line: Stories are wild creatures.
Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Felicity Jones, Lewis MacDougall
Plot: A boy seeks the help of a tree monster to cope with his single mom’s terminal illness.
Running Time: 108 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvZrnt9b7vU
Chris: It’s about time that Liam Neeson does the taking.  This flick seems to be a nice escape from the post-Christmas winter blues.
Jessica: This really looks fantastic. I was intrigued, I admit it. Totally something I’d watch.
Jim: This looks like a winner for sure, captivating and magical.

I, Daniel Blake (Sundance Selects) – Drama
Rated R for language
Tag Line: None
Starring: Dave Johns, Hayley Squires
Plot: A middle aged carpenter who requires state welfare after injuring himself, is joined by a single mother in a similar scenario.
Running Time: 100 minutes

Jim: Wow, does this look gripping! I’d rush out and see it now if I didn’t think I’d spend 2 hours sitting there and getting pissed off.
Chris: I feel the righteous anger awakening.
Jessica: As great as Daniel Blake looks, I’m not really sure that I’d get much pleasure out of it. On a pure enjoyment level, I’d go with A Monster Calls. Happy New Year!

Tickets Purchased:  3 for A Monster Calls!

A Unanimous Trailer Snark Decision!
A Unanimous Trailer Snark Decision!
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Trailer Snark (August 12 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week:  It was Suicide Squad and then everyone else this week.  DC’s latest took in $135M at the box office to claim ultimate supremacy.  Jason Bourne was second with $22M to add to its $103.4M total.  Bad Moms came in with $14.2M and just over $50M total since its release.  The Secret Life of Pets was fourth with $11.5M/$319M.  Star Trek Beyond claimed fifth with $10.2M/$127.9M.  The rest of the top ten went as follows:  Nine Lives $6.5M/NEW, Lights Out ($6M/$54.7M), Nerve ($4.9M/$26.8M), Ghostbusters ($4.8M/$116.7M), and Ice Age ($4.3M/$53.5M).  Let’s take a look at the new entries…..

Pete’s Dragon (Walt Disney) – Family/Adventure
Rated PG for action, peril and brief language
Tag Line: Some secrets are too big to keep.
Starring: Bryce Dallas Howard and Robert Redford
Plot: The adventures of an orphaned boy named Pete and his best friend Elliot, who just so happens to be a dragon.
Running Time: 102 minutes

Jessica: Looks interesting, but I never saw the original so I’m so-so on seeing it.
Jim: never saw the original,  looks like another fantasy CGI retread. Bonus points for having Bryce Dallas Howard in it, though.
Rob:  Pretty sure the original came out the same year Star Wars did.  Yep, way back in 1977.  I’m kind of tired of the whole Hollywood just redoes the classics thing, but that won’t stop me from this guilty pleasure.  I loved this film when I was a kid, and besides what kid didn’t imagine having a pet dragon at some point?  I sure as heck did.
Ken: Disney’s had success updating their classic animated features into live action movies. I remember renting the original on VHS from the public library as a child, so the nostalgia is definitely there for me.
Chris: Disney success written all over it, and all the kids will be asking their parents for their own dragon this Christmas.

Florence Foster Jenkins (Paramount) – Biography/Comedy/Drama
Rated PG-13 for brief suggestive material.
Tag Line:  The inspiring true story of the world’s worst singer.
Starring: Meryl Streep and Hugh Grant
Plot:  The story of Florence Foster Jenkins, a New York heiress who dreamed of becoming an opera singer, despite having a terrible singing voice.
Running Time: 110 minutes

Chris:  One of the reasons I don’t watch American Idol.
Jessica: Eh.
Jim: Meryl and Hugh make it look interesting, possible rental.
Rob: Not in a million years, well ok maybe if her nephew Leeroy was the focus of the film.  At least he has chicken.
Ken: Speaking as someone who loves to sing but can’t carry a tune with a bucket, I can totally relate to this character. Singing isn’t  just about having a beautiful voice, it’s about heart. Just ask Bob Dylan.

Sausage Party (Columbia) – Comedy
Rated R for strong crude sexual content, pervasive language, and drug use
Tag Line: Watch what you eat.
Starring:  Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, and James Franco
Plot: A sausage strives to discover the truth about his existence.
Running Time: 89 minutes

Ken: This movie has been on my radar for months. The trailer is laugh out loud funny, and there’s an R-rated trailer that is even better.
Chris:  I used have dreams like this when I was a kid.
Jessica: This looks freakin’ hilarious. Not sure I’d see it in a theater, but I’ll definitely be catching this when it’s on streaming.
Jim: NOW we’re cookin’! Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd are involved, I’m in!
Rob: Looks like a good rental for laughs.

Hell or High Water (CBS Films) – Comedy/Drama
Rated R for some strong violence, language throughout and brief sexuality
Tag Line: Blood always follows money.
Starring: Chris Pine, Ben Foster, Jeff Bridges
Plot: A divorced dad and his ex-con brother resort to a desperate scheme in order to save their family’s farm in West Texas.
Running Time: 102 minutes

Rob: Maybe down the road on Netflix, but probably not.  Too many better choices.
Ken: This trailer impressed the heck out of me. Great cast, compelling plot and lots of gunfights and explosions.
Chris:  Probably a solid film, but does not move me to really want to see it.  Ben Foster is a great actor, though. 
Jessica: Ben Foster, Chis Pine and Jeff FLIPPIN Bridges??? I am SOLD.
Jim: Nice cast, looks like a good one.

Anthropoid (Bleecker Street Media) – History/Thriller
Rated R for violence and some disturbing images
Tag Line: Resistance has a code name.
Starring:  Cillian Murphy, Jamie Dornan, Toby Jones
Plot: Based on the extraordinary true story of Operation Anthropoid, the WWII mission to assassinate SS General Reinhard Heydrich, the main architect behind the Final Solution and the Reich’s third in command after Hitler and Himmler.
Running Time: 120 minutes

Jessica: I droned off during the trailer, pass.
Jim: Yeah, I kinda checked out during the trailer, too.
Rob: WWII assassination plot.  Could be ok I suppose, but not on the big screen.
Ken:  I’m always down to hunt Nazis.
Chris:  This one looks fantastic!  The similarly themed Valkyrie with Tom Cruise was awesome, and to get more story about German patriots calls to me.

Operation Chromite (Taewon Entertainment) – Historical/Drama
Not Rated
Tag Line:  None
Starring:  Liam Neeson, Jung-jae Lee
Plot: A squad of soldiers fight in the Korean War’s crucial Battle of Incheon.
Running Time: 115 minutes

Chris:  I wanted this trailer to be better than it was.
Jessica: I got bored and turned the trailer off. Pass again.
Jim: Always good to see and hear Liam Neeson, but this looks like another by-the-numbers war flick.
Rob: 5000:1 odds really aren’t that impressive when you have Liam Neeson on your side.  Haven’t you seen Taken!? 
Ken: Not sure what’s going on here, but you can bet that Liam Neeson’s going to be bad-ass.

Edge of Winter (Vertical Entertainment) – Drama/Thriller
Rated R for language and some violence
Tag Line: Nothing is more dangerous than a father’s love.
Starring: Tom Holland, Joel Kinnaman
Plot: When two brothers are stranded by a brutal winter storm with an unpredictable father they barely know, the boys begin to suspect their supposed protector may be their biggest threat.
Running Time: 89 minutes

Ken: Thrills and chills and I think someone kills.
Chris:  Riveting trailer….the road to hell was paved with good intentions, they say.
Jessica: I enjoy Joel K. quite a bit after seeing his talents on “The Killing”, didn’t love him in the “Robocop” remake but did enjoy him (for the most part) in “Suicide Squad”, I’d check this out at home.
Jim: Looks intense.
Rob: Stranded in a cabin with a father they don’t know and he’s probably a total psycho.  Pass.  Heck, even Cersei Lannister puts her kids above all else.

Ghost Team (The Orchard) – Comedy
Rated PG-13 for language including some sexual references, and drug material
Tag Line: Paranormal investigation. No experience necessary.
Starring: Jon Heder, Justin Long
Plot: A paranormal-obsessed man mounts his own investigation into the beyond with his depressed best friend, misfit nephew, a cable access medium and an overeager security guard.
Running Time: 83 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O65BJtQ-ROk
Rob: Doesn’t look funny enough for even a rental.
Ken: Looks terrifyingly awful.
Chris:  Seems about as funny Napolean Dynamite, which is to say…..Not at all.
Jessica: Some funny people here, cheesy trailer, but that might mean it’s comic brilliance, or utter tripe. Not sure yet on this one.
Jim: Seconding JL again here—funny people, not -so-impressive trailer, but it could be intentional. Might be worth a look.

Tickets Purchased: Three for Sausage Party (Jim, Jessica, and Ken), One for Pete’s Dragon (Rob) and One for Anthropoid (Chris)

Now it's really a party!
Now it’s really a party!