Posted on

Trailer Snark (March 24, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Power Rangers (Lionsgate) – Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi
Rated PG-13 for sequences of sci-fi violence, action and destruction, language, and for some crude humor
Tag Line:  Back to action!
Starring: Dacre Montgomery, Naomi Scott, Bill Hader
Plot: A group of high-school kids, who are infused with unique superpowers, harness their abilities in order to save the world.
Running Time: 124 minutes

Chris: I missed the boat on Power Rangers as a child (a little after my time) and I really have no interest in this re-imagining.
Jessica: I am of two minds of this, one it looks just ridiculous and two, it looks like it might actually be okay. I never watched the show and really am not what I would consider a fan so I don’t really care either way. But I do enjoy a GOOD action, superhero film, so maybe this will be that. Maybe…
Jim: I used to watch the show with my daughter and could feel my brains leaking out of my ears.

Life (Columbia) – Horror/Sci-Fi/Thriller
Rated R for language throughout, some sci-fi violence and terror
Tag Line:  Be careful what you search for.
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, Ryan Reynolds
Plot: A team of scientists aboard the International Space Station discover a rapidly evolving life form, that caused extinction on Mars, and now threatens the crew and all life on Earth.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Jim: Seriously? Why don’t they just call it Alien 20? Are there ANY new ideas anymore?
Chris: I have been jonesing to see this movie since I started seeing trailers last year.  The second trailer (featured here) gives you a bit more than the first, but it all look deliciously intense.
Jessica: Oh my goodness, Ryan and Jake in one movie? About alien life? SIGN ME UP.

CHiPS (Warner Bros) – Action/Comedy
Rated R for crude sexual content, graphic nudity, pervasive language, some violence and drug use.
Tag Line: Chip happens.
Starring: Michael Pena, Dax Shepard
Plot: A rookie officer is teamed with a hardened pro at the California Highway Patrol, though the newbie soon learns his partner is really an undercover Fed investigating a heist that may involved some crooked cops.
Running Time: 100 minutes

Jessica: <Sigh>. I mean, maybe…No, <sigh>.
Jim: Dumb fun for the most part, rental.
Chris: I can see why Erik Estrada is super upset about this one since they really jazzed up the pervertedness and went total comedy.  I grew up with Ponch and John, and it was considered action drama fare.  I guess he feels disrespected.  I’ll catch it on the small screen.

Wilson (Fox Searchlight) – Comedy
Rated R for language throughout and some sexuality
Tag Line: Positively negative
Starring:  Woody Harrelson, Sandy Oian, Shaun Brown
Plot: A lonely, neurotic and hilariously honest middle-aged man reunites with his estranged wife and meets his teenage daughter for the first time.
Running Time: 94 minutes

Chris: Woody Harrelson plays so many types of roles.  This one is about as off-beat as some of his most left of center.  Check it!
Jessica: AHHHHH I LOVE WOODY HARRLESON, he’s the reason I saw any of the Hunger Games movies, and this looks fun and weird and everything I love about him.
Jim: This looks like a blast, Woody and a great cast (love Laura Dern!).

Prevenge (Shudder) – Comedy/Drama/Fantasy
Not Rated
Tag Line:  None
Starring:  Jo Hartley, Gemma Whelan, Alice Lowe
Plot: Widow Ruth is seven months pregnant when, believing herself to be guided by her unborn baby, she embarks on a homicidal rampage, dispatching anyone who stands in her way.
Running Time: 88 minutes

Jim: Delightfully sick and twisted-looking with a premise worthy of Stephen King.
Chris: Pickles, ice cream, and sharp knives.  Cut straight to the C Section.  No thanks.
Jessica: Oh this just looks like a good time. I was laughing at the trailer. Sick, twisted, right up my alley.

The Levelling (Monterey Media) – Drama
Rated R for language and brief nudity
Tag Line:  None
Starring: Ellie Kendrick, David Troughton
Plot: After he brother dies, Clover returns to her family farm in Someset, where she discovers her estranged father is a shell of his former self and the farm is in shambles due to floods that destroyed the area six months earlier.
Running Time: 83 minutes

Jessica: This looks really intense, so I’ll pass. I have enough intensity with school and work thank you, but seriously, this looks like an interesting, well-done and very sad film that I’d watch at home when I needed a good cry.
Jim: Got the TV movie blahs about halfway through.
Chris: A whole lot of high emotion drama in this trailer, but a whole lot of I could care less in my mind.

Slamma Jamma (RiverRain Productions) – Drama/Sports
Rated PG for thematic elements, some violence and language
Tag Line:  Sometimes redemption is found above the rim.
Starring: Chris Staples, Michael Irvin, Jose Canseco
Plot: Wrongfully accused and sent to prison, a former basketball star prepares for the national slam dunk competition while finding redemption in himself and in those he loves.
Running Time: 104 minutes
Chris: Looks like an inspirational sports film….made for TV. I’ll pass on that ball.
Jessica: I got dumber typing that title and I didn’t make it through the trailer, I just got annoyed and turned it off so clearly it’s going to be my pick of the week.  😉
Jim: Yeah, not a fan of this title either. Nice trailer, but still  feel I’ve seen it all before.

Tickets Purchased: Two for Life (Jessica and Chris) and One for Wilson (Jim)

Life

Posted on

Trailer Snark (July 24th Theatrical Releases)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: (Chris Comments) Something tells me that Rob may have missed the mark on his Ant-Man analysis last week….oh yeah,that something was my eyes, ears, heart, and the fist that went flying in the air in triumph after watching Marvel’s latest on the big screen this past weekend.  And it appears that Jessica, Ken, and I were not alone at its opening weekend as Ant-Man claimed first place with a $58 million haul.  Now, that may not seem so much considering the openings of most of Marvel’s films of late, but it could be great word of mouth that prevents a big second week drop-off.  Here is to hoping that some of those Pym Particles can boost up the box office returns Ant-Man so richly deserves.  Coming in at number two was Minions (my wife’s pick to be number one again this week) with another $50 million ($217 million overall),  Amy Schumer’s Trainwreck premiered in third place with $30 million.  A huge drop off in box office receipts after that with Inside Out and Jurassic World battling it out with just over $11 million a piece (Inside Out cracked $300 million and Jurassic World went over an astounding $600 million overall).  Terminator: Genisys, Magic Mike XXL, The Gallows, and Ted 2 were all next with the tenth spot occupied by the debut of Mr. Holmes.

Pixels (Columbia Pictures) – Comedy/Action/Sci-Fi
Rated PG-13 for some language and suggestive comments
Tag Line: Game On.
Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Peter Dinklage, Dan Akroyd, Michelle Monghan, Sean Bean, and more
Plot: When aliens misinterpret video feeds of classic arcade games as a declaration of war, they attack the Earth in the form of the video games.
Running Time: 105 minutes

Rob: Mindless fun based on the video games of our 8-bit youth.  Yeah, you heard me right you young whipersnappers only 8-bit!
Chris: Adam Sandler has been due for a hit…actually, he is due for a decent movie.  Pixels is certainly tapping into nostalgia for the forty-something crowd which could be a magnet to those parents who hope to make a connection with their video-game culture kids.
Ken: Rated M for middle aged. I don’t think the nostalgia factor will be enough to drive a thin premise for almost 2 hours and I’m afraid that the retro arcade references will be lost on younger audiences.  I love the spirit of this movie but I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s gonna suck.
Jessica: Actually this one surprised me, I might actually see this though Adam Sandler and Kevin James don’t fill me with confidence the story seems funny/interesting and it might actually be good. Or it could suck big time, hard to tell.

Southpaw (The Weinstein Company) – Drama/Action/Sports
Rated R for language throughout, and some violence
Tag Line: Believe in Hope.
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Rachel McAdams, Forest Whitaker, and Curtis Jackson
Plot: Boxer Billy Hope turns to trainer Tick Willis to help him get his life back on track after losing his wife in a tragic accident and his daughter to child protection services.
Running Time: 123 minutes

Jessica: So all over this one! I’m a fan of Gyllenhaal and I love a good boxing/redemption story.
Ken: This is essentially a vehicle for Eminem to promote himself. That’s his name on the title track, his boy Fitty acting in it, and his life story being told, except he’s a boxer in the movie. Metaphors like metafives.
Chris: It’s Jacked Gyllenhaal vs the System as a parent coping with family tragedy, dangerous career, and questionable life choices.  After his total creep turn in Nightcrawler, I find myself interested in Jake’s movie roles.
Rob: Looks promising if it can focus more on the main character’s  ambitions as a father instead of those of a boxer.

The Vatican Tapes (Lionsgate) – Horror
Rated PG-13 for disturbing violent content, and some sexual references
Tag Line: For 2,000 years the Vatican has recorded evidence of evil. May God have mercy on their souls.
Starring: Michael Pena, Kathleen Robinson, Dougray Scott, Djimon Housou, and Olivia Taylor Dudley
Plot: A priest and two Vatican exorcists must do battle with an ancient satanic force to save the soul of a young woman.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Chris: After seeing Michael Pena in his goofy role in Ant-Man, this is quite the departure as he plays a priest who may be trying to exorcise the Anti-Christ.  The last image in the trailer recalls the ever so skincrawling Prince of Darkness from the great John Carpenter.
Rob: Horror.  Religion.  Couldn’t be less interested.
Jessica: At first I was very “meh” about this one but there are some good actors in this film and it COULD be an interesting take on the whole exorcism thing. Doesn’t look scary at all but more intriguing. I wouldn’t see in a theater but I’d watch it on Amazon or Netflix for sure.
Ken: Religious horror fascinates me because demonic possessions are recorded events. These things actually happen. This movie however looks fake beyond belief. Not a good sign when the trailer doesn’t scare you.

Paper Towns (20th Century Fox) – Drama/Mystery
Rated PG-13 for some language, drinking, sexuality and partial nudity – all involving teens
Tag Line: Get Lost. Get Found.
Starring: Cara Delevingne and Nat Wolff
Plot: A young man and his friends embark upon the road trip of their lives to find the missing girl next door.
Running Time: 109 minutes

Ken: Romantic optimism battles the rebellious, cynicism of youth. Being young was awful, so many conflicting feelings to process. I’m so glad I grew out of it. But I like to remember it fondly.
Jessica: BORING. BORING. BORING. The trailer bores me, I actually have seen it a couple times now before movies and I’m all sorts of set. Teen drama, blah blah blah. I think I’d rather watch anything other than this. Oh wait, I still have to talk about Smoosh. Hold please.
Chris: It’s a coming of age film filled with mystery and possibilities for, especially for a young man who just wanted to be noticed by the girl of his dreams.  Looks like a winner.
Rob: Jogn Green can write and this looks like a fun ride complete with mystery and a search for greater purpose.

Smosh: The Movie (Lionsgate) – Comedy
Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, language, some drug content and violence
Tag Line: Based on the YouTube channel “Smosh” launched by Ian Andrew Hecox and Anthony Padilla in 2005.
Starring: Ian Andrew Hecox and Anthony Padilla
Plot: An embarrassing video of Anthony surfaces online right before his fifth high school reunion. The Smosh dudes then race to pull down the clip before it blows Anthony’s chances of reconnecting with his teen crush Anna.
Running Time: 84 minutes

Jessica: Smosh or Smoosh or whatever it is: NO THANK YOU. I’d rather watch Paper Towns. On repeat, for days.
Chris: Weak….just weak.
Rob: It’s like Bill & Ted took a portal into Youtube only 10,000 times more poorly executed.  Just no.
Ken: I’m probably dating myself horribly when I say this, but I don’t know what a Smosh is or what is going on with this movie. 

American Heist (Lionsgate) – Action/Crime/Drama
Rated R for strong violence, pervasive language, some sexual material and brief drug use
Tag Line: N/A
Starring: Adrien Brody, Hayden Christensen, Jordana Brewster, and Akon
Plot: James owes his life to his older brother, Frankie after taking the rap for a crime they committed together. While Frankie served time, James worked to turn his life around, got a steady job and began courting his former girlfriend Emily. Now, Frankie is released and back on the streets with no money and no place to go.
Running Time: 94 minutes

Rob: Thought it might be decent, then I heard Hayden Christensen use a whiny tone of voice.  I’m out.
Ken: The word cliché gets thrown around a lot in this forum.  
Chris: Lionsgate with three movies in one week?  In spite of Hayden Christensen, this movie looks like a good time at the theater.  Adrian Brody is on board, speaking of actors who truly need a successful movie, as he plays a seriously troubled young man who owes favors to all the wrong people.
Jessica: Eh. I like Adrian Brody but this story has been done to death and seriously, Jordana Brewster, stop doing car/heist movies! Yeesh.

Unexpected (The Film Arcade) – Drama
Rated R for language
Tag Line: No one is ever really prepared.
Starring: Cobie Smulders and Gail Bean
Plot: An inner-city high school teacher discovers she is pregnant at the same time as one of her most promising students and the two develop an unlikely friendship while struggling to navigate their unexpected pregnancies.
Running Time: 90 minutes

Ken: The working title for this film was Stand and Delivering Babies.
Rob: A teacher and one of her students both become unexpectedly pregnant and explore the consequences of their choices.  Something maybe they should have thought about first…maybe the film will help some folks do just that.
Chris: Cobie Smothers plays a teacher who finds herself striking a special relationship with one of her students as they both become pregnant.  It looks like a big screen Lifetime movie…..yawn.

Tickets Purchased:  2 for Paper Towns (Ken and Chris) and 2 for Southpaw (Rob and Jessica)

Remember when Jake couldn't punch his way out of a plastic bag?
Remember when Jake couldn’t punch his way out of a plastic bag?
I Ain't No Bubble Boy No More!
I Ain’t No Bubble Boy No More!

What will you be watching this week?
-The Great Stories Team