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Trailer Snark (February 26 2016) Theatrical Trailers

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Ryan Reynolds and Fox are celebrating their second straight week at number one as Deadpool captured another $55M at the Box Office and has now earned $235.3M domestic.  Kung Fu Panda 3 continued to get the kiddies to the cinema with $12.5M to add to its $117.1M total.  The highest debut of the week came from Risen with $11.8M.  Period horror piece, The Witch, debuted at number four with $8.6M.  How to Be Single fell to number five ($8.2M/$31.7M).  The only other debut in the top ten was Race at number six with $7.2M.  The rest of the list went as follows:  Zoolander 2 ($5.5M/$23.7M), Star Wars: The Force Awakens ($3.8M/$921.6M), The Revenant ($3.8M/$165.1M), and Hail, Caesar ($2.6M/$26.1M).  Its a short list of releases this week, but lets get down to it.

Gods of Egypt (Lionsgate) – Action/Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for fantasy violence and action, and some sexuality
Tag Line: The journey of a lifetime begins.
Starring:  Gerard Butler, Brenton Thwaits
Plot: Mortal hero Bek teams with the god Horus in an alliance against Set, the merciless god of darkness who has usurped Egypt’s throne, plunging the once peaceful and prosperous empire into chaos and conflict.
Running Time: 127 minutes

Rob: High on visual effects and eye candy.  Worried about lack of story.  Renter.
Ken: Gods awful.
Jim: Yawn.
Chris:  I’d rather sit on the top of a pyramid.

Eddie the Eagle (20th Century Fox) – Biography/Sports/Drama
Rated PG-13 for some suggestive material, partial nudity and smoking
Tag Line: Landing in cinemas April 1
Starring: Taron Egerton, Hugh Jackman, Tom Costello, Jr.
Plot: The story of Eddie Edwards, the notoriously tenacious British underdog ski jumper who charmed the world at the 1988 Winter Olympics.
Running Time: 105 minutes

Chris:  A very charming trailer, and certainly a contender…pun very much intended.
Rob: The story of an unlikely Olympian.  I’d watch it for fun and more for my love of an underdog, but not on the big screen.
Ken: What sports fan doesn’t love a good underdog story? And it looks funny to boot.
Jim: Looks like a great, humorous story with the always entertaining Hugh Jackman.

Triple 9 (Open Road Films) – Crime/Thriller
Rated R for strong violence and language throughout, drug use and some nudity
Tag Line: The code on the street is never black and white.
Starring:  Casey Affleck, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Woody Harrelson
Plot: A gang of criminals and corrupt cops plan the murder of a police officer in order to pull off their biggest heist yet across town.
Running Time: 115 minutes

Jim: Yawn II
Chris: I love a good cop thriller movie.  And this one appears to be a promising one.
Rob: A decent looking cops & robbers thriller.  Decent doesn’t get me to the big screen though…
Ken: Love me a good heist movie. Pretty loaded cast too.

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny (The Weinstein Company)
Rated PG-13 for martial arts violence and brief partial nudity
Tag Line: The past returns with a vengeance.
Starring: Donnie Yen, Michelle Yeoh, Jason Scott Lee
Plot: A story of lost love, young love, a legendary sword and one last opportunity at redemption.
Running Time: 96 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5ixd2ZRRpE
Rob: Limited IMAX release, but nothing near us.  Bummer!  But it’s a Netflix original so I can watch from the comfort of my own home.  Score!  Few films have been as visually stunning  as Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.  Ang Lee delivered a masterpiece in 2001, but can Woo-ping Yuen do the same today?  Michelle Yeoh is reprising her role, so we can expect more amazing martial arts and solid acting on that front.  The trailer definitely has me excited to see if they can deliver once more.
Ken: Yup, what Rob said. I’m surprised that a sequel hadn’t been made before. Getting Netflix was the best decision I’ve ever made.
Jim: The first was one of Ang Lee’s amazing films. Based on the trailer, this looks like it keeps the bar high. Always worth watching Michelle Yeoh, count me in.
Chris:  Time to get all Martial Artsy!

Tickets Purchased:  3 for Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (Jim, Ken, and Rob)…of course, you won’t be paying for any tickets watching it at home on your Netflix! Damn Kids!  1 for Triple 9 (Chris).

Oh, you said Martial....not Marital!
Oh, you said Martial….not Marital!