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Trailer Snark (August 19 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Suicide Squad paid dividends for the DC brand and Warner Bros again this week with a second straight week at number one and $43M in box office dollars bringing its domestic total to $222.8M.  The next two entries were the brand new films Sausage Party ($33.6M) and Pete’s Dragon ($22.5M).  Paul Greengrass’ Jason Bourne came in fourth ($13.6M/$126.7M).  Bad Moms rounded out the top five ($11.4M/$71.4M).  The rest of the list went as follows: The Secret Life of Pets ($8.8M/$335.9M), Star Trek Beyond ($6.8M/$139.6M), Florence Foster Jenkins ($6.5M/NEW), Nine Lives ($3.5M/$13.5M), and Lights Out ($3.2M/$61.1M).  Let’s take a look at this weekend’s new releases!

Kubo and the Two Strings (Focus Features) – Animation/Family
Rated PG for thematic elements, scary images, action and peril
Tag Line: Be bold.  Be brave.  Be epic.
Starring: Charlize Theron, Art Parkinson, Ralph Fiennes
Plot: A young boy named Kubo must locate a magical suit of armor worn by his late father in order to defeat a vengeful spirit from the past.
Running Time: 101 minutes

Rob: I have been waiting for years for this one!!  It looks awesome.  The story is absolutely intriguing, and the origami-stylization of the 3D stop-motion animation is eye-popping.  Get me my ticket and my popcorn.  This is THE movie to see this week.
Chris: Total renter for me.  I could have predicted that Animaniac Rob would be all over this one though.
Jessica: Holy moly does this look amazing! I admit the trailer got me, using “As My Guitar Gently Weeps” as the music was a perfect touch. I’d see this in the theater and I don’t normally go for animated features in the theater.
Jim: Love the design, this looks pretty amazing. This weekend for sure.
Ken: The visuals look unbelievable and that Beatles cover… Origasmi.

Ben-Hur (Paramount) – History/Drama/Adventure
Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence and disturbing images
Tag Line: Teacher. Prophet. Savior.
Starring: Jack Huston, Morgan Freeman
Plot: The epic story of Judah Ben-Hur (Jack Huston), a prince falsely accused of treason by his adopted brother, an officer in the Roman army. After years at sea, Judah returns to his homeland to seek revenge, but finds redemption.
Running Time: 124 minutes

Ken: I dig the gladiator battles, but PG-13? I demand blood! Love the accents in these ancient-timey films. Everyone sounds somewhere between  British and Australian. Except Morgan Freeman who just sounds awesome, no accent required.
Rob: Looks great, but we already had remakes in 2010 and 2003.  WTF Hollywood?  Hire some writers.  Create some new stories.
Chris: I know it’s been remade a bunch of times, but it looks EPIC!
Jessica: Not even Morgan Freeman can make me watch this pile of poo. I didn’t even get through the trailer. I’ll stay home and watch “Gladiator” or “300” instead, thanks.
Jim: I’m a big fan of the ancient epics of Old Hollywood. The 1959 version was always a favorite. Doesn’t look like there’s much new here.

War Dogs (Warner Bros) – Comedy/Drama
Rated R for language throughout, drug use and some sexual references
Tag Line: Money, corruption and the American dream
Starring: Jonah Hill, Miles Teller
Plot: Based on the true story of two young men, David Packouz and Efraim Diveroli, who won a $300 million contract from the Pentagon to arm America’s allies in Afghanistan.
Running Time: 114 minutes

Jim: Blah. Couldn’t find anything remotely funny in this.
Ken: This looks more interesting than funny. It’s been Hollywooded up for sure, but it’s a true story. It feels like Blow, except with guns instead of cocaine.
Rob: Might be good for a rental for laughs.  Not a big-screen experience though.
Chris: Not even remotely interested.
Jessica: I’m hopefully optimistic about this. It’s association with The Hangover makes me nervous (adore the first on, hate the other 2) BUT, Jonah Hill looks amazingly crazy and I might even be able to deal with Miles Teller. It’s intriguing to say the least.

Morris from America (A24) – Comedy/Drama
Rated R for teen drug use and partying, sexual material, brief nudity, and language throughout
Tag Line:  Nothing rhymes with Germany.
Starring:  Markees Christmas, Craig Robinson
Plot: The romantic and coming-of-age misadventures of a 13-year-old American living in Germany.
Running Time: 91 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoX3MIWPttQ
Jessica: This looks like so much more than just a simple movie about a rapper from America in Germany. It looks funny and sweet and a lot of fun.
Jim: No interest whatsoever.
Ken: Having lived overseas for a period in my 20’s and being a bit of a rapper myself, I really connected with this trailer. I’ll watch this at home, away from the haters.
Rob:  I couldn’t even make it through the whole trailer.  A movie about a young rapper growing up overseas.  Pass.
Chris: Go to your room….why?  Because you like terrible movie trailers.

Kingsglaive:  Final Fantasy XV (Sony) – Animation/Adventure
Rated PG-13 for fantasy violence and action throughout
Tag Line: None
Starring: Lena Headey, Aaron Paul, Sean Bean
Plot: King Regis, who oversees the land of Lucis, commands his army of soldiers to protect the kingdom from the Niflheim empire’s plans to steal the sacred crystal which gives Lucis its magic and power.
Running Time: 110 minutes

Chris: This looks beyond awful.  And I usually like this kind of thing.
Jessica:  I didn’t even watch it, looks boring if you’re not a Final Fantasy fan (which I am not).
Jim: ZZZZZZZZ
Ken: Looks like the cheese stands alone on this one. I stopped playing FF around number VII, but the best part of those games were the cut scenes. Square Enix made the most jaw-dropping, butt-kicking CG animation you had ever seen. They were always two steps ahead of the competition and I think they’ve done it again. I can’t say much for the story here, but there were a handful of scenes where I couldn’t tell whether I was watching animation or real actors. That alone is worth a play through. This is a video game trailer, right?
Rob: I’ll rent it for the animation, but the story does not look strong by any means.

Lo and Behold:  Reveries of the Connected World (Magnolia) – Documentary
Not Rated
Tag Line:  The virtual evolution of humankind
Starring: Elon Musk, Lawrence Krauss
Plot: Werner Herzog’s exploration of the Internet and the connected world.
Running Time: 98 minutes

Rob: The internet is a manifestation of evil?  M’kay.  Pass.  Even on the rental front.  Pass.
Chris: Actually, this looks fantastic.  Just not on the big screen.  Been a big fan of Herzog’s documentarian output.
Jessica: Looks really interesting, but an at home viewer for sure (and FYI, being able to Tweet THOUGHTS? No thank you!).
Jim: Always good to see a trailer full of something stimulating and intellectually fulfilling. At the very least, a rental for this.
Ken: Lo and be bored.

Tickets Purchased:  Four Tickets for Kubo (Rob, Jessica, Jim, and Ken) and One for Ben-Hur (Chris)

Will the Guitar Pick of Destiny show up in the sequel?
Will the Guitar Pick of Destiny show up in the sequel?

 

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Trailer Snark (August 7th Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation reigned supreme at the Box Office this past weekend, and it wasn’t even a contest!  Cruise and company pulled in $56 million, leaving the second placed Vacation sequel in the dust.  The Helms/Applegate comedy took in just under $15 million and really not much ahead of Ant-Man, which scooped up another $13 million (for a total domestic haul of $132M).  Look for the next Vacation movie to go direct to DVD for National Lampoon as word of mouth is likely to kill its second week (cinema-goers did not give it high enough marks to pull in a casual audience).  Minions ($12M/$287M) and Pixels ($10M/$46M) rounded out the top five.  Amy Schumer’s Trainwreck managed to take in almost another $10M in sixth ($80M overall), Southpaw fell to number seven ($7.5M/$31.5M), Paper Towns came in eighth ($4.6M/$23.8M), while Inside Out ($4.5M/329.5M) and Jurassic World ($3.7M/$631.4M) rounded out the bottom half of the top ten.  Still stunned by Jurassic World’s summer performance.  Let’s see what competition is in store for Team MI!

Fantastic Four (Fox) – Action/Adventure
Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action violence, and languageTag Line: When you change the world, prepare to defend it.
Starring: Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan, and Jamie Bell
Plot: Four young outsiders teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe which alters their physical form in shocking ways. The four must learn to harness their new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend turned enemy.
Running Time: 100 minutes

Chris: Hopefully better executed than the last incarnation.  I am intrigued, but find myself wishing this property had been sold back to the parent company.
Ken: I’m not one to complain about movies taking creative liberties with established characters. But where are the Thing’s underpants? Maybe a new origin story for how Ben Grimm got his superhero name?
Jessica: Totally in to this new take on the familiar Four. I’ll go see this when it comes out. I’ll admit that I don’t mind artistic license if it makes sense, I’m willing to watch this and see if it does, in fact, make sense.
Rob: It’s Clobberin’ Time!  Trailer is decent, but doesn’t blow me away like Deadpool just did.  Still, might get me to show up at a theater….

The Gift (Blumhouse) – Mystery/Thriller
Rated R for language
Tag Line: The Sins Of The Past Will Become Your Present.
Starring: Jason Bateman, Rebecca Hall, Joel Edgerton
Plot: A young married couple’s lives are thrown into a harrowing tailspin when an acquaintance from the husband’s past brings mysterious gifts and a horrifying secret to light after more than 20 years.Running Time: 108 minutes

Ken: What’s in the box?! Looks like a pretty formulaic, revenge thriller.
Jessica: Blah. Meh. I don’t think so.
Rob: Meh.  Psycho revenge thrillers aren’t really my cup of tea, and this one looks pretty cookie cutter.
Chris: I like Jason Bateman, and a good thriller.  This one could be played by the numbers, as it does not seem to hold a too imaginitive plot twist, but maybe that is OK if the execution is there.

Ricki and the Flash (Tri-Star) – Comedy/Drama
Rated PG – 13 for thematic material, brief drug content, sexuality and language
Tag Line: Get Ready for Ricki
Starring: Meryl Streep, Mamie Gummer, and Kevin Kline
Plot: A musician who gave up everything for her dream of rock-and-roll stardom returns home, looking to make things right with her family.
Running Time: 102 minutes

Jessica: Not a theater viewing but maybe someday, in a cable galaxy far-far away I’ll watch it. I do enjoy Streep.
Rob: No.  Just no.  I would rather eat broken glass.
Chris: Meryl Streep as an aging rocker absentee Mom who has a chance for a do-over.  Streep is always excellent, but this has Lifetime Channel written all over it.
Ken: The absent mother is played by the always luminous Meryl Streep. The daughter is played by Mamie Gummer, Streep’s RL daughter. So much Streep.

Shaun the Sheep (Studio Canal) – Family/Adventure/Comedy
Rated PG for rude humor
Tag Line: On the lamb.
Starring: The voice talents of Justin Fletcher, Emma Tate, and John Sparks
Plot: When Shaun decides to take the day off and have some fun, he gets a little more action than he bargained for. A mix up with the Farmer, a caravan and a very steep hill lead them all to the Big City and it’s up to Shaun and the flock to return everyone safely to the green grass of home.
Running Time: 85 minutes

Chris:  Not with Rob’s eyes, Ken’s ears, and Jessica’s money.
Ken: Love the claymation art direction in the style of Wallace and Gromit, but an 85 minute feature length film with zero dialogue is too much. A horde of mighty Minions couldn’t pull it off, what chance do sheep stand?
Jessica: I love Wallace & Gromit but I’m not sure…it sure does LOOK adorable.
Rob: Aardman animation delivers.  Stop motion animation is a medium I truly enjoy and these guys look to have made another great film.

Cop Car (Focus World) – Thriller
Rated R for language, violence and brief drug use
Tag Line: Their first drive could be their last.
Starring: Kevin Bacon and two breakout kids
Plot: A small town sheriff sets out to find the two kids who have taken his car on a joy ride.
Running Time: 86 minutes

Ken: Well that turned south fast. I was hoping this was a comedy about a couple kids joy riding in a stolen cop car.
Jessica: Totally in, I love when Kevin Bacon goes bad-boy, he does a fantastic job.
Rob: Started off somewhat interesting and then became quite the opposite.  But, hey this is an opportunity to point out that my Bacon Number is 2.
Chris: Kevin Bacon takes a sinister turn in his thriller about two kids who go on a joy ride they are about to regret.  Maybe this is the thriller I was waiting to see?

Diary of a Teenage Girl (Sony Picture Classics) – Drama
Rated R for strong sexual content including dialogue, graphic nudity, drug use, language and drinking-all involving teens.
Tag Line: N/A
Starring: Bel Powley, Kristen Wiig, and Alexander Skarsgard
Plot: A teen artist living in 1970s San Francisco enters into an affair with her mother’s boyfriend.
Running Time: 102 minutes

Rob: It’s like Diary of a Wimpy kid mixed with a young girl exploring her sexuality.  That’s one weird vibe.  No thanks.
Chris: I will avoid watching this as I have spent a lifetime avoiding reading them.
Ken: I closed the browser window that the trailer was playing in after she politely asked anyone listening without her permission to stop. The first twenty seconds looked cute though.

The Runner (Alchemy) – Drama
Rated R for language and some sexual material
Tag Line: N/A
Starring:  Nicholas Cage, Connie Nielsen, Peter Fonda, and Sarah Paulson
Plot: In the aftermath of the 2010 BP oil spill, an idealistic but flawed politician is forced to confront his dysfunctional life after his career is destroyed in a sex scandal.
Running Time: N/A

Ken: Fictional story that highlights the double edged relationship between contemporary politics and the media. Nice to see Nicholas Cage is still getting work.
Chris:  I just know Rob’s hopes got high with this title (he is our resident triathlete after all). But I digress…I have to admit when I saw Nicholas Cage’s name pop up, I was ready to dismiss it out of hand, but this movie actually looks fairly decent.  I won’t see it in theaters, but I might be inclined to rent it.
Rob: A cheating congressman, blackmail, and an oil spill.  I wont be spilling any popcorn in the theater while watching this one.

Dark Places (A24) – Drama/Mystery/Thriller
Rated R for some disturbing violence, language, drug use and sexual content
Tag Line: N/A
Starring:  Charlize Theron, Christina Hendricks, Nicholas Hoult, and Corey Stoll
Plot: Libby Day was only seven years old when her family was brutally murdered in their rural Kansas farmhouse. Twenty-five years later, she agrees to revisit the crime and uncovers the wrenching truths that led up to that tragic night.
Running Time: 113 minutes

Jessica: I really enjoy the world of Gillian Flynn, read this book after seeing the trailer. Its a dark book and it looks to be an equally dark movie. I’ll watch it even though Theron is bad casting – I adore her though so I think she can pull off the character well.
Rob: A weird thriller surrounding the Kansas Prairie Massacre in which a son is imprisoned for killing his parents and his sister escapes.  Years later a group called the Kill Club reaches out to her because they think he is innocent…  No where near good enough to separate me from thirteen bucks….
Chris: Another good rental on a dark and stormy night….when the wife is not around, that is.
Ken: That was certainly dark. No idea what was going on, but this looks genuinely creepy.

Tickets Purchased:  2 for Fantastic Four (Rob and Jessica), 1 ticket for Cop Car (Chris), and Ken stays at home binge watching Wet Hot American Summer First Day of Camp on Netflix over and over again.

Bloggers Rob and Jess on their way to get tickets to Fantastic Four.  ;)
Bloggers Rob and Jess on their way to get tickets to Fantastic Four. 😉