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Trailer Snark (April 7, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Smurfs: The Lost Village (Columbia) – Family/Animation
Rated PG for some mild action and rude humor
Tag Line:  A whole new world awaits.
Starring: Demi Lovato, Rainn Wilson, Mandy Patinkin
Plot: In this fully animated, all-new take on the Smurfs, a mysterious map sets Smurfette and her friends Brainy, Clumsy and Hefty on an exciting race through the Forbidden Forest leading to the discovery of the biggest secret in Smurf history.
Running Time: 89 minutes

Chris: It’s funny how smurfy everything is when a new smurfy trailer hits the smurfinet.
Jim: They came about 10-15 years too late for me (kind of like Transformers), so they don’t mean much to me. All I see is an annoying trailer.

Going in Style (Warner Bros) – Comedy/Crime
Rated PG-13 for drug content, language and some suggestive material
Tag Line:  You’re never too old to get even.
Starring:  Morgan Freeman, Alan Arkin, Michael Caine
Plot: Desperate to pay the bills and come through for their loved ones, three lifelong pals risk it all by embarking on a daring bid to knock off the very bank that absconded with their money.
Running Time: 96 minutes

Jim: This is actually a remake —the original had George Burns, Art Carney, and Lee Strasberg. You just can’t go wrong with Caine, Freeman, and Arkin.
Chris: I really wanted this one to have that crotchety charm that I felt way back in the day when I saw Grumpy Old Men for the first time.  Sadly, no.
Jessica: I love all these guys and this looks like a fun romp. I’d be into this in a heartbeat. I need some levity!

The Case for Christ (Pure Flixx) – Drama
Rated PG for thematic elements including medical descriptions of crucifixion, and incidental smoking
Tag Line: None
Starring: Mike Vogel, Erika Christensen, Faye Dunaway
Plot: An investigative journalist and self-proclaimed atheist sets out to disprove the existence of God after his wife becomes a Christian.
Running Time: 112 minutes

Jessica: The trailer was powerful enough that I have to now buy the book. It sounds like a really fascinating story. Faith is such a private, powerful and intangible thing that how do you go from having none to proving it should exist? I would certainly check this out.
Jim: Thought-provoking and powerful.
Chris: An atheist reporter has a come to Jesus life-changing moment.  Sounds like the story of Saul.  I am interested.

Colossal (Neon) – Action/Comedy/Sci-Fi
Rated R for language
Tag Line: There’s a monster in all of us.
Starring: Anne Hathaway, Jason Sudeikis
Plot: A woman discovers that severe catastrophic events are somehow connected to the mental breakdown from which she’s suffering.
Running Time: 110 minutes

Chris: Mildly amusing premise.  I was waiting for the giant monster to pull of some “Thriller” poses.
Jessica: Oh this just looks like a lot of fun. I enjoy Hathaway and this looks like a crazy story, something I also enjoy. Plus it’s a giant monster! You know I love me some giant monsters!
Jim: A funny, fantastic premise, and I love Anne Hathaway! Me too, bring on dem giant monsters!

Alive and Kicking (Magnolia Pictures) – Documentary/Musical
Not Rated
Tag Line:  Happiness is a few steps away
Starring: Hilary Alexander, Evita Arce
Plot: Alive and Kicking gives the audience an intimate, insider’s view into the culture of the current swing dance world while shedding light on issues facing modern society.
Running Time:88 minutes

Jim: I love dancing (even though I’m hopeless), I love swing music, and I love WATCHING swing dancing. This looks like a lot of fun!
Chris: I just don’t dig dance themed movies…..must be that white boy in me?
Jessica: This looks like a fun look at something I love doing, dancing! I’d watch this at home.

Gifted (Fox Searchlight) – Drama
Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, language and some suggestive material
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Chris Evans, Lindsay Duncan, McKenna Grace
Plot: Frank, a single man raising his child prodigy niece Mary, is drawn into a custody battle with his mother.
Running Time: 101 minutes

Jessica: This likes like a sweet story that I’d watch at home and cry about it. I love me some Chris Evans, and it’s nice to see him as someone other than the Captain. Also Octavia Spencer is great. Maybe it’s a story that’s been told a bunch, but it looks sweet, even if it does talk about math (which to all those reading, I am currently studying and don’t like it).
Jim: Oft-told tale, but at least it looks well made.
Chris: Magic Eight Ball says I will likely see this.  Not really a math joke for the gifted, but at least I worked a number in there.

Their Finest (EuropaCorp USA) – Comedy/Drama/Romance
Rated R for some language and a scene of sexuality
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Gemma Arterton, Bill Nighy, Sam Claflin
Plot: A British film crew attempts to boost morale during World War II by making a propaganda film after the Blitzkrieg.
Running Time: 117 minutes

Chris:  I love war movies, but sometimes the stories of those people who work behind the scenes and not on the front lines can prove just as compelling.
Jessica: I love me a good British film plus a war film, yep I’m into this one. Good actors, good story (about writing, yay!) and telling a story worth telling. Another heartwarming film, lovely.
Jim: Bill Nighy’s always worth watching, possible rental.

The Void (Screen Media) – Horror
Not Rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: Ellen Wong, Kathleen Munroe, Kenneth Welsh
Plot: Shortly after delivering a patient to an understaffed hospital, a police officer experiences strange and violent occurrences seemingly linked to a group of mysterious hooded figures.
Running Time: 90 minutes

Jim: Another rehashing of The Thing. No thanks, I’ll just put in the ’51 and ’82 versions.
Chris: Drawing comparisons to one of the greatest horror movies of all time (John Carpenter’s The Thing) is certainly going to grab my attention.
Jessica: Oh sure it looks a lot like “The Thing”, but I don’t care. Looks like it is well-acted and nice and gory. My kind of film!

Tickets Purchased: Two for Colossal (Jessica and Jim) and One for The Void (Chris)

dancingmonster

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Trailer Snark (August 19 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Suicide Squad paid dividends for the DC brand and Warner Bros again this week with a second straight week at number one and $43M in box office dollars bringing its domestic total to $222.8M.  The next two entries were the brand new films Sausage Party ($33.6M) and Pete’s Dragon ($22.5M).  Paul Greengrass’ Jason Bourne came in fourth ($13.6M/$126.7M).  Bad Moms rounded out the top five ($11.4M/$71.4M).  The rest of the list went as follows: The Secret Life of Pets ($8.8M/$335.9M), Star Trek Beyond ($6.8M/$139.6M), Florence Foster Jenkins ($6.5M/NEW), Nine Lives ($3.5M/$13.5M), and Lights Out ($3.2M/$61.1M).  Let’s take a look at this weekend’s new releases!

Kubo and the Two Strings (Focus Features) – Animation/Family
Rated PG for thematic elements, scary images, action and peril
Tag Line: Be bold.  Be brave.  Be epic.
Starring: Charlize Theron, Art Parkinson, Ralph Fiennes
Plot: A young boy named Kubo must locate a magical suit of armor worn by his late father in order to defeat a vengeful spirit from the past.
Running Time: 101 minutes

Rob: I have been waiting for years for this one!!  It looks awesome.  The story is absolutely intriguing, and the origami-stylization of the 3D stop-motion animation is eye-popping.  Get me my ticket and my popcorn.  This is THE movie to see this week.
Chris: Total renter for me.  I could have predicted that Animaniac Rob would be all over this one though.
Jessica: Holy moly does this look amazing! I admit the trailer got me, using “As My Guitar Gently Weeps” as the music was a perfect touch. I’d see this in the theater and I don’t normally go for animated features in the theater.
Jim: Love the design, this looks pretty amazing. This weekend for sure.
Ken: The visuals look unbelievable and that Beatles cover… Origasmi.

Ben-Hur (Paramount) – History/Drama/Adventure
Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence and disturbing images
Tag Line: Teacher. Prophet. Savior.
Starring: Jack Huston, Morgan Freeman
Plot: The epic story of Judah Ben-Hur (Jack Huston), a prince falsely accused of treason by his adopted brother, an officer in the Roman army. After years at sea, Judah returns to his homeland to seek revenge, but finds redemption.
Running Time: 124 minutes

Ken: I dig the gladiator battles, but PG-13? I demand blood! Love the accents in these ancient-timey films. Everyone sounds somewhere between  British and Australian. Except Morgan Freeman who just sounds awesome, no accent required.
Rob: Looks great, but we already had remakes in 2010 and 2003.  WTF Hollywood?  Hire some writers.  Create some new stories.
Chris: I know it’s been remade a bunch of times, but it looks EPIC!
Jessica: Not even Morgan Freeman can make me watch this pile of poo. I didn’t even get through the trailer. I’ll stay home and watch “Gladiator” or “300” instead, thanks.
Jim: I’m a big fan of the ancient epics of Old Hollywood. The 1959 version was always a favorite. Doesn’t look like there’s much new here.

War Dogs (Warner Bros) – Comedy/Drama
Rated R for language throughout, drug use and some sexual references
Tag Line: Money, corruption and the American dream
Starring: Jonah Hill, Miles Teller
Plot: Based on the true story of two young men, David Packouz and Efraim Diveroli, who won a $300 million contract from the Pentagon to arm America’s allies in Afghanistan.
Running Time: 114 minutes

Jim: Blah. Couldn’t find anything remotely funny in this.
Ken: This looks more interesting than funny. It’s been Hollywooded up for sure, but it’s a true story. It feels like Blow, except with guns instead of cocaine.
Rob: Might be good for a rental for laughs.  Not a big-screen experience though.
Chris: Not even remotely interested.
Jessica: I’m hopefully optimistic about this. It’s association with The Hangover makes me nervous (adore the first on, hate the other 2) BUT, Jonah Hill looks amazingly crazy and I might even be able to deal with Miles Teller. It’s intriguing to say the least.

Morris from America (A24) – Comedy/Drama
Rated R for teen drug use and partying, sexual material, brief nudity, and language throughout
Tag Line:  Nothing rhymes with Germany.
Starring:  Markees Christmas, Craig Robinson
Plot: The romantic and coming-of-age misadventures of a 13-year-old American living in Germany.
Running Time: 91 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoX3MIWPttQ
Jessica: This looks like so much more than just a simple movie about a rapper from America in Germany. It looks funny and sweet and a lot of fun.
Jim: No interest whatsoever.
Ken: Having lived overseas for a period in my 20’s and being a bit of a rapper myself, I really connected with this trailer. I’ll watch this at home, away from the haters.
Rob:  I couldn’t even make it through the whole trailer.  A movie about a young rapper growing up overseas.  Pass.
Chris: Go to your room….why?  Because you like terrible movie trailers.

Kingsglaive:  Final Fantasy XV (Sony) – Animation/Adventure
Rated PG-13 for fantasy violence and action throughout
Tag Line: None
Starring: Lena Headey, Aaron Paul, Sean Bean
Plot: King Regis, who oversees the land of Lucis, commands his army of soldiers to protect the kingdom from the Niflheim empire’s plans to steal the sacred crystal which gives Lucis its magic and power.
Running Time: 110 minutes

Chris: This looks beyond awful.  And I usually like this kind of thing.
Jessica:  I didn’t even watch it, looks boring if you’re not a Final Fantasy fan (which I am not).
Jim: ZZZZZZZZ
Ken: Looks like the cheese stands alone on this one. I stopped playing FF around number VII, but the best part of those games were the cut scenes. Square Enix made the most jaw-dropping, butt-kicking CG animation you had ever seen. They were always two steps ahead of the competition and I think they’ve done it again. I can’t say much for the story here, but there were a handful of scenes where I couldn’t tell whether I was watching animation or real actors. That alone is worth a play through. This is a video game trailer, right?
Rob: I’ll rent it for the animation, but the story does not look strong by any means.

Lo and Behold:  Reveries of the Connected World (Magnolia) – Documentary
Not Rated
Tag Line:  The virtual evolution of humankind
Starring: Elon Musk, Lawrence Krauss
Plot: Werner Herzog’s exploration of the Internet and the connected world.
Running Time: 98 minutes

Rob: The internet is a manifestation of evil?  M’kay.  Pass.  Even on the rental front.  Pass.
Chris: Actually, this looks fantastic.  Just not on the big screen.  Been a big fan of Herzog’s documentarian output.
Jessica: Looks really interesting, but an at home viewer for sure (and FYI, being able to Tweet THOUGHTS? No thank you!).
Jim: Always good to see a trailer full of something stimulating and intellectually fulfilling. At the very least, a rental for this.
Ken: Lo and be bored.

Tickets Purchased:  Four Tickets for Kubo (Rob, Jessica, Jim, and Ken) and One for Ben-Hur (Chris)

Will the Guitar Pick of Destiny show up in the sequel?
Will the Guitar Pick of Destiny show up in the sequel?

 

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Trailer Snark (March 4 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week:  There was no stopping the merc with a mouth, as Deadpool spent a third week atop the box office charts, shaking off a pathetic challenge from the second place Gods of Egypt.  Fox scored another $31.5M for their R-rated superhero entry to bring the total domestic haul to $285.6M.  The aforementioned Gods of Egypt took in $14M in its debut.  In third was Kung Fu Panda 3 ($9M/$128.4M).  Fourth place belonged to the Christian drama Risen ($7M/$22.7M) and fifth was the debut of Eddie the Eagle with $6.3M.  Triple 9 could not break the top five and ended up with a $6.1M debut in sixth.  The rest of the top ten went as follows:  How to Be Single ($5.1M/$39.6M), The Witch ($5M/$16.6M), Race ($4.2M/$13.8M), and The Revanant ($3.8M/$170.5M).  So, who are this week’s contenders to Deadpool’s bullet-riddled crown?

Zootopia (Disney) – Family/Animated
Rated PG for some thematic elements, rude humor and action
Tag Line: Welcome to the urban jungle.
Starring: Ginnefer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, Idris Elba
Plot: In a city of anthropomorphic animals, a fugitive con artist fox and a rookie bunny cop must work together to uncover a conspiracy.
Running Time: 108 minutes

Chris: I must admit to being amused with the trailer.  Perhaps it is the mood of the political season, but I feel the need for something light-hearted and innocent.
Ken: I saw an extended trailer for this before Star Wars and I thought it was hysterical. Not a theater experience for me, but I’ll definitely catch this one at home.
Jim: Been laughing at this trailer for months, particularly the Sloth version. A must-see.
Jessica: The sloth cracks me up. I’d watch this on the strength of that alone.
Rob:  I’m all over this!!

London Has Fallen (Gramercy) – Action/Drama
Rated R for strong violence and language throughout
Tag Line: Prepare for bloody hell.
Starring: Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman
Plot: In London for the Prime Minister’s funeral, Mike Banning discovers a plot to assassinate all the attending world leaders.
Running Time: 99 minutes

Rob: My interest has fallen.  Possible renter on a rainy day.
Chris: Make this the second straight week Gerard Butler has appeared in a movie I have no interest in.
Ken: I’d rather be waterboarded than suffer through this.
Jim: Olympus Has Fallen was pretty good as Die Hard knockoffs go. Not a lot of surprises here— might be good for a rental where I’m half awake on the couch.
Jessica: The first one was enjoyable, a fun action romp so I’d totally watch this at home, for free. What is up with Butler these days? First Gods of Egypt (gag) and now this? He used to be better than this garbage.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (Paramount) – Comedy/War
Rated R for pervasive language, some sexual content, drug use and violent war images
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Tina Fey, Margot Robbie, Martin Freeman, Alfred Molina
Plot: A journalist recounts her wartime coverage in Afghanistan and Pakistan.
Running Time: 112 minutes

Jessica: I love Tina Fey and this look like a good film. Not one for the theater but one I’d watch at home and probably very much enjoy.
Rob: What the f?  Come on.  You all wanted to say it.  But I’m betting only a small number want to see it.
Chris: Could be an entertaining flick on the small screen?  A non-Tina Fey role for Tina Fey.
Ken: Starring Tina Fey as herself in someone else’s true story.
Jim: More entertaining than the stupid trailer from  that Tina Fey movie  with Amy Poehler a couple of months ago. Rental.

The Other Side of the Door (20th Century Fox) – Horror
Rated R for some bloody violence
Tag Line: It was never meant to be opened.
Starring: Sarah Wayne Callies, Jeremy Sisto
Plot: After her young son is killed in a tragic accident, a woman learns of a ritual which will bring him back to say goodbye, but when she disobeys a sacred warning, she upsets the balance between life and death.
Running Time: 96 minutes

Jim: Not even one frame of film that contains something that I haven’t seen in other horror trailers/movies. I felt like it was yawning at me.
Jessica: Of COURSE she opened it. Looks fairly tried and true as far as horror films go. I’ll pass.
Rob: Horror.  Pass.
Chris: Nothing worse than seeing the main character be so monumentally dumb, you want to reach through the screen and shake them.  Pass.
Ken: Horror movies are generally cliche, but this just looks lazy. The lock that bars the doorway to the realm of the dead is a stick?? Come on!

Knight of Cups (Broad Green Pictures) – Drama/Romance
Rated R for some nudity, sexuality and language
Tag Line: None
Starring: Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett, Natalie Portman
Plot: A writer indulging in all that Los Angeles and Las Vegas has to offer undertakes a search for love and self via a series of adventures with six different women.
Running Time: 118 minutes

Ken: Looks like someone made a feature length film out of an ad for cologne.
Jim: As soon as I can figure out what’s going on in the trailer, I’ll tell you that it’s a Terrence Malick movie and worth seeing.
Jessica: I read about this one and have ZERO interest in watching a self-absorbed man wander through life looking for love. Even if that man used to be my secret husband Christian Bale. I got bored watching the trailer. All set.
Rob: No thanks.
Chris: Is this the most pretentious garbage you have seen this year at Trailer Snark?  I thought so.

Tickets Purchased:  It’s a unanimous decision folks!  Zootopia for President!!!!!!

Can we get Judy Hopps to run for President?
Can we get Judy Hopps to run for President?