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Trailer Snark (September 1, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Eric from View from Above, Robert from Cards and Counters, Wayne from The Dope Sheet, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Tulip Fever (The Weinstein Company) – Drama/Romance
Rated R for sexual content and nudity
Tag Line: None
Starring: Alicia Vikander, Dane DeHaan, Judi Dench, Cara Delevigne
Plot: An artist falls for a young married woman while he’s commissioned to paint her portrait during the Tulip mania of 17th century Amsterdam.
Running Time: 107 minutes

Wayne: Looks like a great cast, but I hate this time period for films. I’m selling.
Chris: Zach Galafianakis in a serious role? That was unexpected. But all the dramatic theme music the trailer had to offer could not manage to pique my interest in this one.

Unlocked (Lionsgate) – Action/Drama/Mystery
Rated R for violence and language
Tag Line: To stop the terror, they must fight the conspiracy.
Starring: Orlando Bloom, Noomi Rapace, Michael Douglas, John Malkovich, Toni Collette
Plot: A CIA interrogator is lured into a ruse that puts London at risk of a biological attack.
Running Time: 98 minutes

Chris: Awesome cast, and a trailer ripe with intrigue. Is Orlando Bloom producing movies now?
Wayne: Looks like Jason Bourne has a sister. I’d go see this. I’m buying it.

Viceroy’s House (IFC Films) – Drama/History/Biography
Not Rated
Tag Line: The end of an empire.  The birth of two nations.
Starring: Gillian Anderson, Michael Gambon, Hugh Bonneville
Plot: The final Viceroy of India, Lord Mountbatten, is tasked with overseeing the transition of British India to independence, but meets with conflict as different sides clash in the face of monumental change.
Running Time: 106 minutes

Wayne: An amazing cast, but this story doesn’t call out to me. I’m selling.
Chris: I’d watch this on the small screen, but all the tea in India won’t get me to buy a ticket.

Temple (Screen Media Films) – Horror/History
Not rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: Naoto Takenaka, Asahi Uchida, Logan Huffman
Plot: Three American tourists follow a mysterious map deep into the jungles of Japan searching for an ancient temple. When spirits entrap them, their adventure quickly becomes a horrific nightmare.
Running Time: 78 minutes

Chris: Looks like a serviceable enough spook flick, but not enough to get me to bite. The real Halloween season kick-off comes next week with It.
Wayne: Yawn. Selling it.

Jackals (Shout Factory) – Horror/Thriller
Not Rated
Tag Line: Sacrifices must be made.
Starring: Deborah Kara-Unger, Stephen Dorff
Plot: Set in the 1980s, an estranged family hires a cult deprogrammer to take back their teenage son from a murderous cult, but find themselves under siege when the cultists surround their cabin, demanding the boy back.
Running Time: 85 minutes

Wayne: Here piggy piggy piggy. Dumb. Selling it.
Chris: Again, another decent looking horror, but one that maybe shows too much. Those masks were creepy. I’ll wait this one out too.

I Do ….Until I Don’t (The Film Arcade) – Comedy
Rated R for sexual material and language
Tag Line: Happily ever after is a lot to ask.
Starring: Lake Bell, Ed Helms, Paul Reiser, Amber Heard
Plot: An ensemble comedy about the meaning of matrimony.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Wayne: Not fun watching relationships struggle and fall apart because there isn’t enough time to put them back together and it feel rewarding. Not a feel good movie, selling this.
Chris: I am with Wayne on the subject matter……and the comedy was completely underwhelming in the trailer aside. Was it supposed to be funny?

Tickets Purchased: Two for Unlocked

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Trailer Snark (August 21 Theatrical Releases)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week:  Straight Outta Compton busted out of the ghetto and into theaters with a storm taking in $56M.  Tom Cruise slipped to very distant second place with MI: Rogue Nation ($17M/$138M).  The Man from U.N.C.L.E. received some ordinary reviews and only could muster a third place $13.5M opening.  Fantastic Four held fourth place with $8M bringing its total to $42M overall.  It was a log-jam for the rest of the top ten, however as fifth place The Gift ($6.5M/$23.5M) only beat out the tenth place Trainwreck ($3.8M/$97M) by less than $3M.  Ant-Man, Vacation, Minions, and Ricki and the Flash in between in that order.  And now, onto our candidates for cinematic glory this week….

Sinister 2 (Blumhouse) – Horror
Rated R for strong violence, bloody and disturbing images, and language
Tag Line: None
Starring: James Ransone, Shannyn Sossamon, and Robert Daniel Sloan
Plot: A young mother and her twin sons move into a rural house that’s marked for death.
Running Time: 97 minutes

Chris: The first was an OK effort, but not nearly good enough for a visit to the theater. This one provides me the same feeling of mediocrity best left for home theater viewing.
Jessica: I barely remembered the first one until the showed the pic with Ethan Hawke and I don’t feel this needed a sequel. That being said, I know I’ll end up watching it at home when it’s on Netflix or something. Though I had a lot of problems with the first one, the biggest being it was so dark the big reveal at the end was less than interesting to me.
Ken:
The first movie had some insanely creepy moments and the premise was solid, but the story fell apart at the end. I think given a budget and a decent script this could be a good horror film.

American Ultra (Lionsgate) – Action/Comedy
Rated R for strong bloody violence, language throughout, drug use and some sexual content
Tag Line: The ultimate secret agent becomes the ultimate target
Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Topher Grace, Connie Britton, John Leguizamo, and Bill Pullman.
Plot: A stoner – who is in fact a government agent – is marked as a liability and targeted for extermination. But he’s too well-trained and too high for them to handle.
Running Time: 95 minutes

Ken: That looked like a good amount of fun. Could be a sleeper.  
Chris: I like Jesse Eisenberg, but I absolutely loathe Kristen Stewart.  Stoner comedy was funny to me back when I was in college, but I can only take small doses now…no, not small doses of reefer…I meant the comedy.
Jessica: I like Eisenberg but cannot stand Stewart so I’ll skip this one. I cannot possibly watch another movie where Stewart looks awkward and stutters.

Hitman:  Agent 47 (20th Century Fox) – Action
Rated R for sequences of strong violence, and some language
Tag Line:  None
Starring:  Rupert Friend, Hannah Ware, Zachary Quinto
Plot: An assassin teams up with a woman to help her find her father and uncover the mysteries of her ancestry.
Running Time: 96 minutes

Jessica: Never saw the first one and I don’t care! This looks like fun and I enjoy Quinto quite a bit, especially if he’s the bad guy. I love me a good action movie with totally improbable action sequences. Can I say action more? I CAN! I love action movies with lots of action!
Ken: As a fan of the game franchise, I can tell you honesty that this trailer did nothing for me. Hitman is stealth and precision, not car chases and romantic subplots. It got the CGI right though.
Chris: How many years has it been since the original?  This one looks like a fun theater experience with some great action set pieces and fast-[aced fun.  Some of the key elements to a traditional summer movie….and there aren’t many of those to enjoy remaining on our 2016 calendar.

Grandma (Sony Pictures Classics) – Comedy
Rated R for language and some drug use
Tag Line: None
Starring: Lily Tomlin, Julia Garner
Plot: Self-described misanthrope Elle Reid has her protective bubble burst when her 18-year-old granddaughter, Sage, shows up needing help. The two of them go on a day-long journey that causes Elle to come to terms with her past and Sage to confront her future.
Running Time: 79 minutes

Chris: Lily Tomlin looks to be rocking this role pretty well from the trailer.  I’ll catch it in another medium.
Jessica: Love this. Love this so much I could watch the trailer a few times and still love it. It’s the kind of movie I’d want to see in the theater but will probably forget and see it at home but Lily Tomlin I adore and holy bejesus, Sam Elliot? I am SO ON BOARD
Ken: I love grandmas and I love Lily Tomlin, so it reasons that I would love this movie. But life is full of little surprises.  

6 Years (The Orchard) – Drama/Romance
Not Rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: Taissa Farmiga, Ben Rosenfield, Lindsay Burdge
Plot: A young couple bound by a seemingly ideal love, begins to unravel as unexpected opportunities spin them down a volatile and violent path and threaten the future they had always imagined.
Running Time: 85 minutes

Ken: So angsty.
Chris: Indie movie all the way…..and not the kind I am usually intrigued by,
Jessica: What exactly is the point? I’m too old to watch teenagers deal with their relationship ending or hitting a bump, I’ve been through enough of my own. Big ole pass on this pile of boring.

Digging for Fire (The Orchard) – Drama
Rated R for language including some sexual references, drug use and brief graphic nudity
Tag Line: None
Starring: Jake Johnson, Rosemarie DeWitt, and Orlando Bloom
Plot: The discovery of a bone and a gun send a husband and wife on separate adventures over the course of a weekend.
Running Time: 85 minutes

Jessica: What rock did Orlando Bloom crawl out from? This looks like it could actually be some fun and holy bejesus, Sam Eliott again??? And Sam Rockwell? I am in a heaven of awesome Sam’s. I’d watch this at home for sure, could be totally funny but “with a  message” or something
Ken: “A fascinating character study” Translation – boring,
Chris: Orlando Bloom gets top billing here, but I think I only saw him in one scene in the entire trailer….maybe I just wasn’t focusing?  I must have been digging for some pocket change to get me that second coffee I so desperately need.  Yawn….

She’s Funny That Way (Lionsgate) – Comedy
Rated R for some language including sexual references
Tag Line: Showbiz has always been a little screwball.
Starring: Imogen Poots, Owen Wilson, Scott Campbell, and Jennifer Aniston
Plot: On the set of a playwright’s new project, a love triangle forms between his wife, her ex-lover, and the call girl-turned-actress cast in the production.
Running Time: 93 minutes

Chris:  I was prepared to disregard this one out of hand, but the Own Wilson/Jennifer Aniston comedy actually looks pretty entertaining with its ensemble cast.  Color me surprised.
Jessica: I’m all set with this one, it was just really unappealing.
Ken: She must be funny in that understated, not-funny kind of way.

Learning to Drive (Broad Green Pictures) – Comedy/Drama/Romance
Rated R for language and sexual content
Tag Line: It’s never too late to begin a new adventure.
Starring: Patricia Clarkson, Ben Kingsley, and Jake Weber
Plot: As her marriage dissolves, a Manhattan writer takes driving lessons from a Sikh instructor with marriage troubles of his own. In each other’s company they find the courage to get back on the road and the strength to take the wheel.
Running Time: 90 minutes

Ken: Of all the movies out this week, a movie about an over the hill odd couple feels the freshest.  
Chris: Kingsley plays an Sikh driving instructor whose student, played by Patricia Clarkson, is going through a personal crisis.  Driving skills seem to take a back seat to other life lessons in the process.  Looks charming in its own way, and I may catch it after market eventually.
Jessica: At first I was pretty blah about it but as the trailer went on, I think I kinda dig it. Looks totally charming.

Tickets Purchased:  1 ticket for Hitman:  Agent 47 (Chris), 1 ticket for Grandma (Jessica), and 1 ticket for Sinister 2 (Ken).  With no one to break a Trailer Snark first three-way tie, you be the judge!

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