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Trailer Snark (October 23, 2015 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Jack Black as R.L. Stine takes the top of the box office this week as Goosebumps pulled in $23.5M in its opening week.  The Martian dropped one spot to number two taking in another $21.5M ($143.7M overall).  Bridge of Spies debuted at number three with $15.3M followed by the debuting Crimson Peak which took in $12.8M.  Fifth place belonged to Adam Sandler’s animated Hotel Transylvania 2 ($12.2M/$136.4M).  The rest of the top ten went as follows:  Pan ($5.8M/$25.7M), The Intern ($5.4M/$58.7M), Sicario ($4.5M/$34.6M), Woodlawn ($4.1M), and Scorch Trials ($2.7M/$75.4M).  Let’s take a look at this weekend’s lineup of new contenders…..

Paranormal Activity: Ghost Dimension (Paramount) – Horror
Rated R for language and some horror violence
Tag Line: Every secret will be revealed.Starring: Brit Shaw, Chris Murray
Plot: Using a special camera that can see spirits, a family must protect their daughter from an evil entity with a sinister plan.
Running Time: 88 minutes

Ken: I’m a sucker for found footage horror movies and have seen almost every Paranormal Activity movie made, despite the most terrifying part of the last few has been the decline in quality.  I’ll probably break down and watch it when it comes to streaming.
Jessica: These movies are always good for a laugh and/or maybe a chill up the spine. I’d catch this one at home. I’m sure it’s right in line with all the others of the series.
Chris: I caught the last few on DVD and there was a serious decline in entertainment, but I will say that this trailer seems to have raised the franchise game a bit.

Jem & the Holograms (Universal) – Drama
Rated PG for thematic material including reckless behavior, brief suggestive content and some language
Tag Line: Every generation needs a voice.
Starring: Aubrey Peeples, Molly Ringwald, Stefanie Scott
Plot: As a small-town girl catapults from underground video sensation to global superstar, she and her three sisters begin a journey of discovering that some talents are too special to keep hidden.
Running Time: 118 minutes

Chris: Not as outrageous as one might expect.
Ken: Oh god, I just threw up a little bit. This looks horrible.
Jessica: Don’t bother with his pile of trash. It’s Jem in NAME only and  a total waste of time for any movie goer. It disgusts my Jem loving heart! I’m going to have to watch a cartoon to wash the ugly taste of Hollywood’s money-making machine from my mouth after seeing this lousy trailer for what can only be a lousy movie. See, I used no foul language! That was hard.

The Last Witch Hunter (Summit Entertainment) – Action/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for sequences of fantasy violence and frightening images
Tag Line: Live forever. Hunt forever.
Starring: Vin Diesel, Rose Leslie, Elijah Wood
Plot: The last witch hunter is all that stands between humanity and the combined forces of the most horrifying witches in history.
Running Time: 106 minutes
Jessica: I admit that at first I laughed at this one but I have a not so secret love for Vin D. and I would totally watch this at home and probably enjoy the holy heck out of it too. I mean, Frodo Baggins and Alfred Pennyworth are in it with Turetto!
Chris: Looks like the comfort food of movies to me!
Ken: CGI isn’t scary and I can’t understand a word of what Vin Diesel is saying. All that aside, I could watch anything with Rose Leslie in it.  

Rock the Kasbah (Open Road) – Comedy
Rated R for language including sexual references, some drug use and brief violence
Tag Line: Opportunity rocks when you least expect it.
Starring: Bill Murray, Bruce Willis, Kate Hudson, and Zooey Deschanel
Plot: A down-on-his-luck music manager discovers a teenage girl with an extraordinary voice while on a music tour in Afghanistan and takes her to Kabul to compete on the popular television show, Afghan Star.
Running Time: 100 minutes

Ken: Even Sharif would likes this one.
Jessica: I want to want to see this but it’s a pass for me.
Chris: I did not have any laugh out loud moments in this trailer.  Maybe they saved the good stuff?

Suffragette (Focus Features) – Drama/History
Rated PG-13 for some intense violence, thematic elements, brief strong language and partial nudity
Tag Line: Mothers. Daughters. Rebels.
Starring: Anne-Marie Duff, Carey Mulligan, Grace Stottor
Plot: The foot soldiers of the early feminist movement, women who were forced underground to pursue a dangerous game of cat and mouse with an increasingly brutal State.
Running Time: 106 minutes

Chris: We continue our civil right’s theme movie march this week tackling women’s suffrage.  Girls just want to have fun, you know!
Ken: Political radicalism and random acts of destruction. Girl power!
Jessica: This is my JAM! I am SO EXCITED for this one. I think it’ll be emotional and powerful. Can’t wait to check it out.

I Smile Back (Broad Green Pictures) – Drama
Rated R for strong sexual content, substance abuse/disturbing behavior, and language
Tag Line: Love desperately, live recklessly.
Starring: Sarah Silverman, Josh Charles
Plot: Laney Brooks does bad things. Married with kids, she takes the drugs she wants, sleeps with the men she wants, disappears when she wants. Now, with the destruction of her family looming, and temptation everywhere, Laney makes one last desperate attempt at redemption.
Running Time: 85 minutes

Jessica: Sigh, why do awesome comedians always have to make serious films? I enjoy Silverman and this looks good but … I have no idea what else to say about it. I might see it someday.
Chris: I loathe Sarah Silverman (as an entertainer)….there, I said it.  That being said, this is a very un-Sarah Silverman like movie.
Ken: Silverman takes her turn doing serious drama. She looks pretty convincing at playing crazy.

Burnt (The Weinstein Company) – Drama
Rated R for language throughout
Tag Line: Never underestimate a man with nothing to lose.Starring: Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller
Plot: Adam Jones (Bradley Cooper) is a Chef who destroyed his career with drugs and diva behavior. He cleans up and returns to London, determined to redeem himself by spearheading a top restaurant that can gain three Michelin stars.
Running Time: 100 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiGJlUVQDGk
Ken: Reminds me of Anthony Bourdain’s absoluitely insane tales from his autobiographical book Kitchen Confidential. This trailer has whet my appetite.
Jessica: This one I will happily NEVER watch and I have love for Cooper but this looks all kinds of terrible and sugary sweet. Blech.
Chris: Bradley Cooper does Hell’s Kitchen…sort of.  Meh….

Tickets Purchased:  One for Burnt (Ken), One for Suffragette (Jessica), and One for The Last Witch Hunter (Chris)…..ah, back to happy disagreement folks!

Can Vin Diesel save the world from civil rights hungry women driven crazy by Chef Bradley Cooper?  Did that make any sense at all?
Can Vin Diesel save the world from civil right’s hungry women driven crazy by Chef Bradley Cooper? Did that make any sense at all?