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Trailer Snark (September 16, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Your trailer snark now comes with more thrills and less fill!  Let’s get right down to it!

Bridget Jones’s Baby (Miramax) – Comedy/Romance
Rated R for language, sex references and some nudity
Tag Line: We’re going to need bigger pants.
Starring: Renee Zellwegger, Colin Firth
Plot: Bridget’s focus on single life and her career is interrupted when she finds herself pregnant, but with one hitch … she can only be fifty percent sure of the identity of her baby’s father.
Running Time: 122 minutes

Jessica: Don’t make me watch this again. Ever. I liked the first movie and that’s it. After that I have no interest in a boring, self-centered moron stumbling about doing dumb things with other dumb people.
Jim: Looking forward to this, along with the wife. Nice to see Renee Zellweger in something high-profile again.
Chris: I make it a point to not read women’s diaries, let alone watch one unfold on the screen before me.
Ken: Yawn. Wake me up when it’s time for Bridget Jones’ funeral.

Blair Witch (Lionsgate) – Horror
Rated R for language, terror and some disturbing images
Tag Line: There’s something evil hiding in the woods.
Starring: James Allen McCune, Callie Hernandez
Plot: After discovering a video showing what he believes to be his sister’s experiences in the demonic woods of the Blair Witch, James and a group of friends head to the forest in search of his lost sibling.
Running Time: 89 minutes

Ken: Looks a lot like the original, but with a little less shake in the cam. I hope one of these kids was smart enough to bring a weapon with them.
Jessica: I loved the original and I am hesitant to say that this looks promising, it’ll never be as freaky deaky as the original, but maybe? (She says, feeling hopefully optimistic because she wants to see a really scary movie).
Jim: The original’s a masterpiece, but this looks pretty cookie-cutter to me. Leave well enough alone.
Chris: Is this a remake or a sequel?  Either way, I am hesitant.  I found the first found footage movie to be a bit underwhelming.

Snowden (Open Road) – Drama/Thriller/Biography
Rated R for language and some sexuality/nudity
Tag Line:  The only safe place is on the run.
Starring:  Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Melissa Leo, Zachary Quinto
Plot: The NSA’s illegal surveillance techniques are leaked to the public by one of the agency’s employees, Edward Snowden, in the form of thousands of classified documents distributed to the press.
Running Time: 134 minutes

Chris: You have my attention.  Hero or villain.  I am with Jess, as I cannot decide.  Oliver Stone is a bit of a wonk, but his films are entertaining.
Ken: Oliver Stone has won a lot of awards for his controversial, political films, so there’s potential here. I wish this was a documentary and not a Hollywood affair though.
Jessica: I honestly am not sure how I feel about the real Snowden, but I adore JGL and would watch this at home to see one side of this tale.
Jim: Looks pretty intense—with the combo  of the story, JGL and Oliver Stone, could be worth a peek.

Wild Oats (Weinstein Company) – Comedy/Drama
Rated PG-13 for sexual content
Tag Line: None
Starring: Demi Moore, Jessica Lange
Plot: Everything changes for Eva when she receives a life insurance check accidentally made out for $5,000,000 instead of the expected $50.000. She and her best friend take the money and head out for the adventure of a lifetime.
Running Time: 86 minutes

Jim: Have to admit this looks pretty funny—always good to see a buddy comedy trailer that doesn’t make me cringe.
Chris: I’d catch this on the small screen while none of my guy friends were looking.
Ken: Grannies gone wild. Pass.
Jessica: Oh my gosh, this movie had me as soon as I realized who the leads are. Not a theater flick, but I will totally check this out. Two amazing actresses in what looks to be a pretty funny story.

The Good Neighbor (Vertical Entertainment) – Thriller
Not Rated
Tag Line:  You never know who’s watching.
Starring:  James Caan, Logan Miller
Plot: A pair of mischievous high school kids create the illusion of a haunting on an unsuspecting neighbor. While keeping his every reaction under surveillance, they see much more than they bargained for.
Running Time: 98 minutes

Jessica: I LOVE James Caan, I’d watch this with glee to see him being evil.
Jim: Looks like this could be  a good one for James Caan…looks interesting.
Chris: Oh yeah.  Thrillers are always more effective when they are “close to home”.  I haven’t seen much of James Caan over the past couple of years, but his turn as a sinister neighbor looks brilliant from the trailer.
Ken: Of all the people in the neighborhood, why would you pick the creepy, mentally unstable, old man that lives alone to mess with? The trailer was intense and definitely had me in suspense.

Miss Stevens (The Orchard) – Comedy/Drama
Not Rated
Tag Line:  Everyone needs a chaperone.
Starring:  Lily Rabe, Oscar Nunez
Plot: A comedy focused on a teacher who chaperones a group of high schoolers to a state drama competition.
Running Time: 86 minutes

Ken: A must miss.
Jessica: This looks adorably uncomfortable. I do like Lily Rabe from American Horror Story and I’d probably catch this at home one night. Looks enjoyable, but weird and quirky. Like me!
Jim: Seconding JL’s comment, looks enjoyable.
Chris:  I was relieved that it didn’t go down some creepy Mary Jo Laterneau road.

Silicon Cowboys (FilmRise) – Documentary
Not Rated
Tag Line:  They risked their future to create ours.
Starring: A bunch of real people.
Plot: Three friends dream up the Compaq portable computer at a Texas diner in 1981, and soon find themselves battling mighty IBM, for PC supremacy. Their improbable journey altered the future of computing and shaped the world we now know.
Running Time: 77 minutes

Chris: Always interested in tech giant documentaries…..this one is no exception, but I will stream it on Netflix instead.
Ken: I’m a techie and a documentary junkie, so this is a definite watch for me.
Jessica: While I get how important these guys were to the computing world, I got bored halfway through and started doing other stuff. Not for me!
Jim: This looks really interesting, and definitely worth a rental.

Tickets Purchased: Two for The Good Neighbor (Jessica and Chris), One for Wild Oats (Jim), and One for Silicon Cowboys (Ken)

Not sure James Caan's turn as a Good Neighbor even has wifi, but he sure has some secrets....yikes.
Not sure James Caan’s turn as a Good Neighbor even has wifi, but he sure has some secrets….yikes.