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Trailer Snark (February 24, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Get Out (Universal) – Horror/Mystery
Rated R for violence, bloody images, and language including sexual references
Tag Line: None
Starring: Daniel Kaluuya, Allison Williams
Plot: A young African-American man visits his Caucasian girlfriend’s mysterious family estate.
Running time: 103 minutes

Jim: How I have come to hate horror movie trailers (as much as I love good horror movies). They’re boring, cliched, and so “Oooh, look what we’re gonna scare you with now! Isn’t this scary??” That said, the plot of this had me intrigued. A creepy movie might be lurking under this ho-hum trailer.
Chris:  I was honestly waiting for the punchline to reveal this to be some kind of spoof movie.  Pretty underwhelming.

Collide (Open Road Films) –  Action/Thriller
Rated PG-13 for violence, frenetic action, some sexuality, language, and drug material
Tag Line: How far would you go for love?
Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Felicity Jones, Anthony Hopkins, Ben Kingsley
Plot: An American backpacker gets involved with a ring of drug smugglers as their driver, though he winds up on the run from his employers across Cologne high-speed Autobahn.
Running Time: 99 minutes

Chris: I think Anthony Hopkins and Ben Kingsley lost a bet to Nicholas Cage and Bruce Willis to star in this movie.
Jim: <Yawn> Looks like The Firm with cars.

Rock Dog (Summit Entertainment) – Animated/Family
Rated PG for action and language
Tag Line: A new breed of rock star.
Starring: Luke Wilson, Eddie Izzard
Plot: When a radio falls from the sky into the hands of a wide-eyed Tibetan Mastiff, he leaves home to fulfill his dream of becoming a musician, setting into motion a series of completely unexpected events.
Running Time: 80 minutes

Jim: Has kind of a secondhand look to it. Second-tier animation with been-there done-that gags. Pass.
Chris:  Does this dog know how to rock and roll over?  Was that a weak pun?  Yeah.  About as weak as that trailer.

Bitter Harvest (Roadside Attractions) – Drama/Romance/War
Rated R for violence and disturbing images
Tag Line: Soviet Union. 1933. Stalin’s tyranny could destroy their country. But not their love.
Starring: Max Irons, Samantha Barks, Barry Pepper
Plot: Set in 1930s Ukraine, as Stalin advances the ambitions of communists in the Kremlin, young artist Yuri battles to save his lover Natalka from the Holodomor, the death-by-starvation program that ultimately killed millions of Ukrainians.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Chris:  A pre-WWII era of history that has not received enough attention in film.  Historical set pieces are a favorite of mine.  Looks solid!
Jim: Reeks of a movie that’s “good for you.”

As You Are (Votiv Films) – Drama/Mystery
Not Rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: Owen Campbell, Charlie Heaton, Amanda Stenberg
Plot: Set in the early 1990’s, “As You Are” is the telling and retelling of a relationship between three teenagers as it traces the course of their friendship through a construction of disparate memories prompted by a police investigation.
Running Time: 110 minutes

Jim: Now THIS is the way to make a trailer. Hope the movie is as good.
Chris: Definitely made me want to see what the heck happened to the characters in the story.  I agree with Jim that this is the way you cut a trailer and get some attention.  Cheers!

Punching Henry (Well Go USA) – Comedy
Not Rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: Henry Phillips, J.K. Simmons, Sarah Silverman, Tig Notaro
Plot: Hapless satirical songwriter Henry Phillips is lured to LA when a veteran TV producer decides to make a show about the life of a loser.
Running Time: 95 minutes

Chris: This looks like a whole lot of I don’t give a crap.
Jim: What is it about this trailer? Didn’t it seem like it was bored with itself? If it weren’t for JK Simmons, I think I would have nodded off halfway through.

Tickets Purchased:  One for As You Are (Jim) and one for Bitter Harvest (Chris)

Get Out would probably be more successful if the Wayans Brothers wrote it.
Get Out would probably be more successful if the Wayans Brothers wrote it.
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Trailer Snark (October 23, 2015 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Jack Black as R.L. Stine takes the top of the box office this week as Goosebumps pulled in $23.5M in its opening week.  The Martian dropped one spot to number two taking in another $21.5M ($143.7M overall).  Bridge of Spies debuted at number three with $15.3M followed by the debuting Crimson Peak which took in $12.8M.  Fifth place belonged to Adam Sandler’s animated Hotel Transylvania 2 ($12.2M/$136.4M).  The rest of the top ten went as follows:  Pan ($5.8M/$25.7M), The Intern ($5.4M/$58.7M), Sicario ($4.5M/$34.6M), Woodlawn ($4.1M), and Scorch Trials ($2.7M/$75.4M).  Let’s take a look at this weekend’s lineup of new contenders…..

Paranormal Activity: Ghost Dimension (Paramount) – Horror
Rated R for language and some horror violence
Tag Line: Every secret will be revealed.Starring: Brit Shaw, Chris Murray
Plot: Using a special camera that can see spirits, a family must protect their daughter from an evil entity with a sinister plan.
Running Time: 88 minutes

Ken: I’m a sucker for found footage horror movies and have seen almost every Paranormal Activity movie made, despite the most terrifying part of the last few has been the decline in quality.  I’ll probably break down and watch it when it comes to streaming.
Jessica: These movies are always good for a laugh and/or maybe a chill up the spine. I’d catch this one at home. I’m sure it’s right in line with all the others of the series.
Chris: I caught the last few on DVD and there was a serious decline in entertainment, but I will say that this trailer seems to have raised the franchise game a bit.

Jem & the Holograms (Universal) – Drama
Rated PG for thematic material including reckless behavior, brief suggestive content and some language
Tag Line: Every generation needs a voice.
Starring: Aubrey Peeples, Molly Ringwald, Stefanie Scott
Plot: As a small-town girl catapults from underground video sensation to global superstar, she and her three sisters begin a journey of discovering that some talents are too special to keep hidden.
Running Time: 118 minutes

Chris: Not as outrageous as one might expect.
Ken: Oh god, I just threw up a little bit. This looks horrible.
Jessica: Don’t bother with his pile of trash. It’s Jem in NAME only and  a total waste of time for any movie goer. It disgusts my Jem loving heart! I’m going to have to watch a cartoon to wash the ugly taste of Hollywood’s money-making machine from my mouth after seeing this lousy trailer for what can only be a lousy movie. See, I used no foul language! That was hard.

The Last Witch Hunter (Summit Entertainment) – Action/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for sequences of fantasy violence and frightening images
Tag Line: Live forever. Hunt forever.
Starring: Vin Diesel, Rose Leslie, Elijah Wood
Plot: The last witch hunter is all that stands between humanity and the combined forces of the most horrifying witches in history.
Running Time: 106 minutes
Jessica: I admit that at first I laughed at this one but I have a not so secret love for Vin D. and I would totally watch this at home and probably enjoy the holy heck out of it too. I mean, Frodo Baggins and Alfred Pennyworth are in it with Turetto!
Chris: Looks like the comfort food of movies to me!
Ken: CGI isn’t scary and I can’t understand a word of what Vin Diesel is saying. All that aside, I could watch anything with Rose Leslie in it.  

Rock the Kasbah (Open Road) – Comedy
Rated R for language including sexual references, some drug use and brief violence
Tag Line: Opportunity rocks when you least expect it.
Starring: Bill Murray, Bruce Willis, Kate Hudson, and Zooey Deschanel
Plot: A down-on-his-luck music manager discovers a teenage girl with an extraordinary voice while on a music tour in Afghanistan and takes her to Kabul to compete on the popular television show, Afghan Star.
Running Time: 100 minutes

Ken: Even Sharif would likes this one.
Jessica: I want to want to see this but it’s a pass for me.
Chris: I did not have any laugh out loud moments in this trailer.  Maybe they saved the good stuff?

Suffragette (Focus Features) – Drama/History
Rated PG-13 for some intense violence, thematic elements, brief strong language and partial nudity
Tag Line: Mothers. Daughters. Rebels.
Starring: Anne-Marie Duff, Carey Mulligan, Grace Stottor
Plot: The foot soldiers of the early feminist movement, women who were forced underground to pursue a dangerous game of cat and mouse with an increasingly brutal State.
Running Time: 106 minutes

Chris: We continue our civil right’s theme movie march this week tackling women’s suffrage.  Girls just want to have fun, you know!
Ken: Political radicalism and random acts of destruction. Girl power!
Jessica: This is my JAM! I am SO EXCITED for this one. I think it’ll be emotional and powerful. Can’t wait to check it out.

I Smile Back (Broad Green Pictures) – Drama
Rated R for strong sexual content, substance abuse/disturbing behavior, and language
Tag Line: Love desperately, live recklessly.
Starring: Sarah Silverman, Josh Charles
Plot: Laney Brooks does bad things. Married with kids, she takes the drugs she wants, sleeps with the men she wants, disappears when she wants. Now, with the destruction of her family looming, and temptation everywhere, Laney makes one last desperate attempt at redemption.
Running Time: 85 minutes

Jessica: Sigh, why do awesome comedians always have to make serious films? I enjoy Silverman and this looks good but … I have no idea what else to say about it. I might see it someday.
Chris: I loathe Sarah Silverman (as an entertainer)….there, I said it.  That being said, this is a very un-Sarah Silverman like movie.
Ken: Silverman takes her turn doing serious drama. She looks pretty convincing at playing crazy.

Burnt (The Weinstein Company) – Drama
Rated R for language throughout
Tag Line: Never underestimate a man with nothing to lose.Starring: Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller
Plot: Adam Jones (Bradley Cooper) is a Chef who destroyed his career with drugs and diva behavior. He cleans up and returns to London, determined to redeem himself by spearheading a top restaurant that can gain three Michelin stars.
Running Time: 100 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiGJlUVQDGk
Ken: Reminds me of Anthony Bourdain’s absoluitely insane tales from his autobiographical book Kitchen Confidential. This trailer has whet my appetite.
Jessica: This one I will happily NEVER watch and I have love for Cooper but this looks all kinds of terrible and sugary sweet. Blech.
Chris: Bradley Cooper does Hell’s Kitchen…sort of.  Meh….

Tickets Purchased:  One for Burnt (Ken), One for Suffragette (Jessica), and One for The Last Witch Hunter (Chris)…..ah, back to happy disagreement folks!

Can Vin Diesel save the world from civil rights hungry women driven crazy by Chef Bradley Cooper?  Did that make any sense at all?
Can Vin Diesel save the world from civil right’s hungry women driven crazy by Chef Bradley Cooper? Did that make any sense at all?