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Trailer Snark (March 4 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week:  There was no stopping the merc with a mouth, as Deadpool spent a third week atop the box office charts, shaking off a pathetic challenge from the second place Gods of Egypt.  Fox scored another $31.5M for their R-rated superhero entry to bring the total domestic haul to $285.6M.  The aforementioned Gods of Egypt took in $14M in its debut.  In third was Kung Fu Panda 3 ($9M/$128.4M).  Fourth place belonged to the Christian drama Risen ($7M/$22.7M) and fifth was the debut of Eddie the Eagle with $6.3M.  Triple 9 could not break the top five and ended up with a $6.1M debut in sixth.  The rest of the top ten went as follows:  How to Be Single ($5.1M/$39.6M), The Witch ($5M/$16.6M), Race ($4.2M/$13.8M), and The Revanant ($3.8M/$170.5M).  So, who are this week’s contenders to Deadpool’s bullet-riddled crown?

Zootopia (Disney) – Family/Animated
Rated PG for some thematic elements, rude humor and action
Tag Line: Welcome to the urban jungle.
Starring: Ginnefer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, Idris Elba
Plot: In a city of anthropomorphic animals, a fugitive con artist fox and a rookie bunny cop must work together to uncover a conspiracy.
Running Time: 108 minutes

Chris: I must admit to being amused with the trailer.  Perhaps it is the mood of the political season, but I feel the need for something light-hearted and innocent.
Ken: I saw an extended trailer for this before Star Wars and I thought it was hysterical. Not a theater experience for me, but I’ll definitely catch this one at home.
Jim: Been laughing at this trailer for months, particularly the Sloth version. A must-see.
Jessica: The sloth cracks me up. I’d watch this on the strength of that alone.
Rob:  I’m all over this!!

London Has Fallen (Gramercy) – Action/Drama
Rated R for strong violence and language throughout
Tag Line: Prepare for bloody hell.
Starring: Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman
Plot: In London for the Prime Minister’s funeral, Mike Banning discovers a plot to assassinate all the attending world leaders.
Running Time: 99 minutes

Rob: My interest has fallen.  Possible renter on a rainy day.
Chris: Make this the second straight week Gerard Butler has appeared in a movie I have no interest in.
Ken: I’d rather be waterboarded than suffer through this.
Jim: Olympus Has Fallen was pretty good as Die Hard knockoffs go. Not a lot of surprises here— might be good for a rental where I’m half awake on the couch.
Jessica: The first one was enjoyable, a fun action romp so I’d totally watch this at home, for free. What is up with Butler these days? First Gods of Egypt (gag) and now this? He used to be better than this garbage.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (Paramount) – Comedy/War
Rated R for pervasive language, some sexual content, drug use and violent war images
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Tina Fey, Margot Robbie, Martin Freeman, Alfred Molina
Plot: A journalist recounts her wartime coverage in Afghanistan and Pakistan.
Running Time: 112 minutes

Jessica: I love Tina Fey and this look like a good film. Not one for the theater but one I’d watch at home and probably very much enjoy.
Rob: What the f?  Come on.  You all wanted to say it.  But I’m betting only a small number want to see it.
Chris: Could be an entertaining flick on the small screen?  A non-Tina Fey role for Tina Fey.
Ken: Starring Tina Fey as herself in someone else’s true story.
Jim: More entertaining than the stupid trailer from  that Tina Fey movie  with Amy Poehler a couple of months ago. Rental.

The Other Side of the Door (20th Century Fox) – Horror
Rated R for some bloody violence
Tag Line: It was never meant to be opened.
Starring: Sarah Wayne Callies, Jeremy Sisto
Plot: After her young son is killed in a tragic accident, a woman learns of a ritual which will bring him back to say goodbye, but when she disobeys a sacred warning, she upsets the balance between life and death.
Running Time: 96 minutes

Jim: Not even one frame of film that contains something that I haven’t seen in other horror trailers/movies. I felt like it was yawning at me.
Jessica: Of COURSE she opened it. Looks fairly tried and true as far as horror films go. I’ll pass.
Rob: Horror.  Pass.
Chris: Nothing worse than seeing the main character be so monumentally dumb, you want to reach through the screen and shake them.  Pass.
Ken: Horror movies are generally cliche, but this just looks lazy. The lock that bars the doorway to the realm of the dead is a stick?? Come on!

Knight of Cups (Broad Green Pictures) – Drama/Romance
Rated R for some nudity, sexuality and language
Tag Line: None
Starring: Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett, Natalie Portman
Plot: A writer indulging in all that Los Angeles and Las Vegas has to offer undertakes a search for love and self via a series of adventures with six different women.
Running Time: 118 minutes

Ken: Looks like someone made a feature length film out of an ad for cologne.
Jim: As soon as I can figure out what’s going on in the trailer, I’ll tell you that it’s a Terrence Malick movie and worth seeing.
Jessica: I read about this one and have ZERO interest in watching a self-absorbed man wander through life looking for love. Even if that man used to be my secret husband Christian Bale. I got bored watching the trailer. All set.
Rob: No thanks.
Chris: Is this the most pretentious garbage you have seen this year at Trailer Snark?  I thought so.

Tickets Purchased:  It’s a unanimous decision folks!  Zootopia for President!!!!!!

Can we get Judy Hopps to run for President?
Can we get Judy Hopps to run for President?
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Trailer Snark (December 18, 2015 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: I am not sure anyone really cares that the Hunger Games won last week’s box office.  I mean, a solid month in the top spot is an impressive feat, but Mockingjay Part Two will undoubtedly be overshadowed and their achievements long forgotten as the new JJ Abrams led Star Wars franchise lifts off this week.  In fact, I think advance tickets sales we almost half of the latest Hunger Games’ $244 domestic overall haul.  It’s hard to imagine The Force Awakens not surpassing $250M domestic before we ring in the New Year.  I confess that I am disappointed that Ron Howard’s latest movie, In the Heart of the Sea could only muster an $11M opening in second place this past week as a debut.  The rest of the list remains much the same as previous week’s, and overall box office sales were weak.  I guess all of that cash went to the Star Wars advanced sales.  So, let’s now waste any more time and move on to this week’s pictures…….as if you have not seen this first trailer…..

Star Wars Episode VII:  The Force Awakens (Disney) – Sci-Fi/Action
Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action violence
Tag Line:  Coming to your galaxy this winter.
Starring: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fischer, Mark Hamill
Plot: Three decades after the defeat of the Galactic Empire, a new threat arises. The First Order attempts to rule the galaxy and only a rag-tag group of heroes can stop them, along with the help of the Resistance.
Running Time: 135 minutes

Chris: I mean, really.  Is anyone not seeing this film?  JJ Abrams rescues another sci-fi franchise.  Pure gold.
Jessica: All my eyes can see is STAR FREAKIN WARS!!!!!!! Cannot wait to check this out.
Rob: Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me.FINALLY!  IT’S HERE!!!!  I will watch no other trailer.  I will see this film multiple times.  I can’t FREAKING wait!!!
Jim: Gee, never heard of it. Their Marketing department must be asleep.
Ken: ???

Alvin & the Chipmunks:  The Road Chip (Fox 2000) – Family
Rated PG for some mild rude humor
Tag Line:  Fast and Furry-ous
Starring:  Jason Lee, Kaley Cuoco, Bella Thorn, Anna Faris, Justin Long, and Christina Applegate
Plot: Through a series of misunderstandings, Alvin, Simon and Theodore come to believe that Dave is going to propose to his new girlfriend in Miami…and dump them. They have three days to get to him and stop the proposal, saving themselves not only from losing Dave but possibly from gaining a terrible stepbrother.
Running Time: 116 minutes

Jessica: Chipmunks must die.
Jim: I watch the trailer while shaking my head and thinking “Pure Evil.” I am truly happy that my daughter has never shown the slightest interest in seeing one of these movies.
Ken: Suuuuper cuuute. And formulaic.
Chris: Never liked them (even as a kid).  I haven’t seen the other two live action movies, and this one won’t break that streak.

Sisters (Universal) – Comedy
Rated R for crude sexual content and language throughout, and for drug use
Tag Line: Big sisters don’t always know best.
Starring:  Tina Fey, Amy Poehler
Plot: Two sisters decide to throw one last house party before their parents sell their family home.
Running Time: 118 minutes

Jim: I like Amy and Tina, but this just looks desperate.
Ken: I love Poehler and Fey.  One of the great comedy duos of all time, right up there with Spade and Farley.  Trailer was kinda meh, story seems derivative, but I’ll give it a watch sometime.
Chris: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are not my favorite comedic actors, but the trailer did have me laughing at some very awkward scenes.  I’ll definitely catch it on the small screen.
Jessica: I’m sure it’s funny, those ladies are hilarious but that’s an at home view for sure.

Extraction (Lionsgate) – Thriller
Rated R for violence, language throughout and brief sexual content/nudity
Tag Line: Vengeance runs in the family.
Starring: Bruce Willis, Kellan Lutz, Gina Carano
Plot: A former CIA operative is kidnapped by a group of terrorists. When his son learns there is no plan for his father to be saved, he launches his own rescue operation.
Running Time: 113 minutes

Jessica: I do like a mindless action flick but I don’t know about this one…probably will catch it years from now for free on TV.
Ken: It’s good to see that Bruce Willis is still getting movie roles playing Bruce Willis.
Jim: I like Bruce Willis, but I’ve seen this movie too many times before. Might be worth a rental for Gina Carano (I liked Haywire).
Chris: I thought Bruce Willis said two or three years ago he was done making mindless action films.  His star is fading for sure, so he is probably happy he didn’t go direct to DVD/Streaming with this release.

Tickets Purchased:  Five tickets for….do I even have to say it?

Will Han Solo live to tell the tale?  Millions of Facebookers forbid you to disclose this information!
Will Han Solo live to tell the tale? Millions of Facebookers forbid you to disclose this information!