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Trailer Snark (September 1, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Eric from View from Above, Robert from Cards and Counters, Wayne from The Dope Sheet, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Tulip Fever (The Weinstein Company) – Drama/Romance
Rated R for sexual content and nudity
Tag Line: None
Starring: Alicia Vikander, Dane DeHaan, Judi Dench, Cara Delevigne
Plot: An artist falls for a young married woman while he’s commissioned to paint her portrait during the Tulip mania of 17th century Amsterdam.
Running Time: 107 minutes

Wayne: Looks like a great cast, but I hate this time period for films. I’m selling.
Chris: Zach Galafianakis in a serious role? That was unexpected. But all the dramatic theme music the trailer had to offer could not manage to pique my interest in this one.

Unlocked (Lionsgate) – Action/Drama/Mystery
Rated R for violence and language
Tag Line: To stop the terror, they must fight the conspiracy.
Starring: Orlando Bloom, Noomi Rapace, Michael Douglas, John Malkovich, Toni Collette
Plot: A CIA interrogator is lured into a ruse that puts London at risk of a biological attack.
Running Time: 98 minutes

Chris: Awesome cast, and a trailer ripe with intrigue. Is Orlando Bloom producing movies now?
Wayne: Looks like Jason Bourne has a sister. I’d go see this. I’m buying it.

Viceroy’s House (IFC Films) – Drama/History/Biography
Not Rated
Tag Line: The end of an empire.  The birth of two nations.
Starring: Gillian Anderson, Michael Gambon, Hugh Bonneville
Plot: The final Viceroy of India, Lord Mountbatten, is tasked with overseeing the transition of British India to independence, but meets with conflict as different sides clash in the face of monumental change.
Running Time: 106 minutes

Wayne: An amazing cast, but this story doesn’t call out to me. I’m selling.
Chris: I’d watch this on the small screen, but all the tea in India won’t get me to buy a ticket.

Temple (Screen Media Films) – Horror/History
Not rated
Tag Line: None
Starring: Naoto Takenaka, Asahi Uchida, Logan Huffman
Plot: Three American tourists follow a mysterious map deep into the jungles of Japan searching for an ancient temple. When spirits entrap them, their adventure quickly becomes a horrific nightmare.
Running Time: 78 minutes

Chris: Looks like a serviceable enough spook flick, but not enough to get me to bite. The real Halloween season kick-off comes next week with It.
Wayne: Yawn. Selling it.

Jackals (Shout Factory) – Horror/Thriller
Not Rated
Tag Line: Sacrifices must be made.
Starring: Deborah Kara-Unger, Stephen Dorff
Plot: Set in the 1980s, an estranged family hires a cult deprogrammer to take back their teenage son from a murderous cult, but find themselves under siege when the cultists surround their cabin, demanding the boy back.
Running Time: 85 minutes

Wayne: Here piggy piggy piggy. Dumb. Selling it.
Chris: Again, another decent looking horror, but one that maybe shows too much. Those masks were creepy. I’ll wait this one out too.

I Do ….Until I Don’t (The Film Arcade) – Comedy
Rated R for sexual material and language
Tag Line: Happily ever after is a lot to ask.
Starring: Lake Bell, Ed Helms, Paul Reiser, Amber Heard
Plot: An ensemble comedy about the meaning of matrimony.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Wayne: Not fun watching relationships struggle and fall apart because there isn’t enough time to put them back together and it feel rewarding. Not a feel good movie, selling this.
Chris: I am with Wayne on the subject matter……and the comedy was completely underwhelming in the trailer aside. Was it supposed to be funny?

Tickets Purchased: Two for Unlocked