Posted on

Trailer Snark (August 11, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Eric from View from Above, Robert from Cards and Counters, Wayne from The Dope Sheet, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Annabelle: Creation (Warner Bros) – Horror/Mystery/Thriller
Rated R for horror violence and terror.
Tag Line: You don’t know the real story.
Starring: Stephanie Sigman, Miranda Otto
Plot: Several years after the tragic death of their little girl, a dollmaker and his wife welcome a nun and several girls from a shuttered orphanage into their home, soon becoming the target of the dollmaker’s possessed creation, Annabelle.
Running Time: 109 minutes

Wayne: I’m selling this movie. Uses so many tricks to get a jump out of you. I’m not a fan of giving a doll an origin story. 
Chris: Am I alone in not knowing that Annabelle was tied to the Conjuring series? Well, this is no Conjuring from what I have seen.
Jessica: I LOVE the Conjuring, and the sequel was okay, this looks like a big pile of poo.
Jim: Jim Asleep

The Glass Castle (Lionsgate) – Bigoraphy/Drama
Rated PG-13 for mature thematic content involving family dysfunction, and for some language and smoking
Tag Line: Home goes wherever we go.
Starring: Woody Harrelson, Brie Larson
Plot: A young girl comes of age in a dysfunctional family of nonconformist nomads with a mother who’s an eccentric artist and an alcoholic father who would stir the children’s imagination with hope as a distraction to their poverty.
Running Time: 127 minutes

Jim: Woody is awesome, but I was beaten a little too much with the Inspirational Movie Stick during the trailer.
Wayne: I’m selling this movie. A story that isn’t going to get us anywhere. I like the casting, but don’t believe this to be worth seeing in a theater.
Chris: Wake me when it’s over.
Jessica: I LOVE Woody Harrelson but this looks like a great film to take a nap to.

The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature (Open Road Films) – Animation/Family
Rated PG for action and some rude humor
Tag Line: Get ready. Get set.  Get nuts!
Starring: Will Arnett, Katherine Heigl, Jackie Chan
Plot: Following the events of the first film, Surly and his friends must stop Oakton City’s mayor from destroying their home to make way for a dysfunctional amusement park.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Jessica: I don’t even have the words for how stupid this looks. Oh wait, I do, it looks stupid.
Jim: Was the first one even a hit? I remember seeing the trailer for the first one and hoping my daughter didn’t ask me to take her to see it. Mercifully, she didn’t. Man, this is one lame summer for movies.
Wayne: I’m selling this movie. Only a week out and now we’re seeing the push for this movie? Also opening late in the summer tells me they don’t have confidence in the film and neither do I.  
Chris: This first felt like a direct to DVD family film. I suspect this will be no better.

The Only Living Boy in New York (Roadside Attractions) – Drama
Rated R for adult situations
Tag Line: None
Starring: Jeff Bridge, Pierce Brosnan, Callum Turner, Kate Beckinsale
Plot: Adrift in New York City, a recent college graduate’s life is upended by his father’s mistress.
Running Time: 88 minutes

Chris: Mildly interesting, if only for Beckinsale and Bridges. Could be a good choice for the small screen.
Jessica: Pretentious drivel. I do enjoy Jeff Bridges, but you’d have to pay me to see this in theaters, or at home.
Jim: The good cast makes it a possible rental.
Wayne: I’m buying this. An interesting story and hey, it has KATE! 

The Trip to Spain (IFC Films) – Comedy/Drama
Not Rated
Tag Line:  The two amigos are back.
Starring: Steve Coogan, Rob Brydon
Plot: Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon embark on a six-part episodic road trip through Spain, sampling the restaurants, eateries, and sights along the way.
Running Time: 108 minutes

Wayne: I’m buying this. While the ladies of the summer have had their share of girl only fun, time for the guys to get their chance with some old fart trip to Spain. Interesting story and will check it out.
Chris: I still have not seen the first two movies, but this one looks like a good reason to hunt it down quickly.
Jessica: I didn’t see the first two either Chris, but this looks fun, as do the ones that came before.
Jim: The Trip, The Trip to Italy, and now this. I thought the first two were a blast, this looks to be the same. Picturesque locations, great-looking food, and some witty bantering from these two likable comedians (love the Roger Moore bit). If only more movies were as enjoyable on a simple level as these are.

Tickets Purchased: Three for The trip to Spain (Wayne, Chris, and Jim) and One for The Only Living Boy in New York (Wayne) while Jessica gets caught up with a viewing of Dunkirk.

Posted on

Trailer Snark (February 10, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

The Lego Batman Movie (Warner Bros) – Animated/Family
Rated PG for rude humor and some action
Tag Line: Checkin’ out these sick beats
Starring: Will Arnett, Michael Cera, Rosario Dawson, Ralph Fiennes
Plot: Bruce Wayne must not only deal with the criminals of Gotham City, but also the responsibility of raising a boy he adopted.
Running Time: 104 minutes

Jessica:  I thought the Lego Movie was hilarious so I have hopes that this one will be too. The previews crack me up!
Chris: One superhero movie I won’t be seeing in the theater.  I’d rather walk barefoot on the whole cast.

Fifty Shades Darker (Universal) – Drama/Romance
Rated R for strong erotic sexual content, some graphic nudity, and language
Tag Line: Slip into something a shade darker
Starring:  Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Eric Johnson
Plot: While Christian wrestles with his inner demons, Anastasia must confront the anger and envy of the women who came before her.
Running Time: 118 minutes

Chris: Probably the only thing more torturous than walking barefoot across the lego movie cast would be watching this pile of garbage.
Jessica: I detested the first book, the movie was moderately better (which is NOT saying much) and I have ZERO interest in seeing this though I suspect Frankie will trick me into it at some point. We’ll never pay movie ticket prices for this load of blah.

John Wick: Chapter 2 (Lionsgate) –  Action/Crime/Thriller
Rated R for strong violence throughout, some language and brief nudity.
Tag Line: None
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Ruby Rose, Lawrence Fishburne
Plot: After returning to the criminal underworld to repay a debt, John Wick discovers that a large bounty has been put on his life.
Running Time: 122 minutes

Jessica: LOVED the first one! Can’t wait to catch the sequel!
Chris: I still have not seen the first movie, but this one looks like a fun night at the theater.  Perhaps a little double feature Blu-Ray showing of the original coupled with a big screen Keanu how do you do?

A United Kingdom (Fox Searchlight) – Biography/Drama/Romance
Rated PG-13 for some language including racial epithets and a scene of sensuality
Tag Line: None
Starring: David Oyelowo, Rosamund Pike
Plot: Prince Seretse Khama of Botswana causes an international stir when he marries a white woman from London in the late 1940s.
Running Time: 111 minutes

Chris: I have been watching The Crown on Netflix lately…similar type material, and I am a fan of Rosamund Pike.  More likely a small screen candidate though.
Jessica: Oh this is right up my alley. Love the cast and the message behind it is so very important. This looks fantastic.

Tickets purchased:  Two for John Wick: Chapter 2!

You killed his dog....prepare to die
You killed his dog….prepare to die