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Trailer Snark (August 11, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Eric from View from Above, Robert from Cards and Counters, Wayne from The Dope Sheet, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Annabelle: Creation (Warner Bros) – Horror/Mystery/Thriller
Rated R for horror violence and terror.
Tag Line: You don’t know the real story.
Starring: Stephanie Sigman, Miranda Otto
Plot: Several years after the tragic death of their little girl, a dollmaker and his wife welcome a nun and several girls from a shuttered orphanage into their home, soon becoming the target of the dollmaker’s possessed creation, Annabelle.
Running Time: 109 minutes

Wayne: I’m selling this movie. Uses so many tricks to get a jump out of you. I’m not a fan of giving a doll an origin story. 
Chris: Am I alone in not knowing that Annabelle was tied to the Conjuring series? Well, this is no Conjuring from what I have seen.
Jessica: I LOVE the Conjuring, and the sequel was okay, this looks like a big pile of poo.
Jim: Jim Asleep

The Glass Castle (Lionsgate) – Bigoraphy/Drama
Rated PG-13 for mature thematic content involving family dysfunction, and for some language and smoking
Tag Line: Home goes wherever we go.
Starring: Woody Harrelson, Brie Larson
Plot: A young girl comes of age in a dysfunctional family of nonconformist nomads with a mother who’s an eccentric artist and an alcoholic father who would stir the children’s imagination with hope as a distraction to their poverty.
Running Time: 127 minutes

Jim: Woody is awesome, but I was beaten a little too much with the Inspirational Movie Stick during the trailer.
Wayne: I’m selling this movie. A story that isn’t going to get us anywhere. I like the casting, but don’t believe this to be worth seeing in a theater.
Chris: Wake me when it’s over.
Jessica: I LOVE Woody Harrelson but this looks like a great film to take a nap to.

The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature (Open Road Films) – Animation/Family
Rated PG for action and some rude humor
Tag Line: Get ready. Get set.  Get nuts!
Starring: Will Arnett, Katherine Heigl, Jackie Chan
Plot: Following the events of the first film, Surly and his friends must stop Oakton City’s mayor from destroying their home to make way for a dysfunctional amusement park.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Jessica: I don’t even have the words for how stupid this looks. Oh wait, I do, it looks stupid.
Jim: Was the first one even a hit? I remember seeing the trailer for the first one and hoping my daughter didn’t ask me to take her to see it. Mercifully, she didn’t. Man, this is one lame summer for movies.
Wayne: I’m selling this movie. Only a week out and now we’re seeing the push for this movie? Also opening late in the summer tells me they don’t have confidence in the film and neither do I.  
Chris: This first felt like a direct to DVD family film. I suspect this will be no better.

The Only Living Boy in New York (Roadside Attractions) – Drama
Rated R for adult situations
Tag Line: None
Starring: Jeff Bridge, Pierce Brosnan, Callum Turner, Kate Beckinsale
Plot: Adrift in New York City, a recent college graduate’s life is upended by his father’s mistress.
Running Time: 88 minutes

Chris: Mildly interesting, if only for Beckinsale and Bridges. Could be a good choice for the small screen.
Jessica: Pretentious drivel. I do enjoy Jeff Bridges, but you’d have to pay me to see this in theaters, or at home.
Jim: The good cast makes it a possible rental.
Wayne: I’m buying this. An interesting story and hey, it has KATE! 

The Trip to Spain (IFC Films) – Comedy/Drama
Not Rated
Tag Line:  The two amigos are back.
Starring: Steve Coogan, Rob Brydon
Plot: Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon embark on a six-part episodic road trip through Spain, sampling the restaurants, eateries, and sights along the way.
Running Time: 108 minutes

Wayne: I’m buying this. While the ladies of the summer have had their share of girl only fun, time for the guys to get their chance with some old fart trip to Spain. Interesting story and will check it out.
Chris: I still have not seen the first two movies, but this one looks like a good reason to hunt it down quickly.
Jessica: I didn’t see the first two either Chris, but this looks fun, as do the ones that came before.
Jim: The Trip, The Trip to Italy, and now this. I thought the first two were a blast, this looks to be the same. Picturesque locations, great-looking food, and some witty bantering from these two likable comedians (love the Roger Moore bit). If only more movies were as enjoyable on a simple level as these are.

Tickets Purchased: Three for The trip to Spain (Wayne, Chris, and Jim) and One for The Only Living Boy in New York (Wayne) while Jessica gets caught up with a viewing of Dunkirk.

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Trailer Snark (July 14, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Eric from View from Above, Robert from Cards and Counters, Wayne from The Dope Sheet, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

War of the Planet of the Apes (Twentieth Century Fox) – Adventure/Drama/Sci-Fi
Rated PG-13 for violence, language, and disturbing images.
Tag Line: For freedom. For family. For the planet.
Starring: Andy Serkis, Woody Harrelson
Plot: After the apes suffer unimaginable losses, Caesar wrestles with his darker instincts and begins his own mythic quest to avenge his kind.
Running Time: 140 minutes

Jim: These movies have some of the most unbelievably realistic effects I’ve ever seen. Almost too realistic. So real that, at times, I forget that I’m looking at things that aren’t there. Which, admittedly, takes a little bit of the fun out of it for me. That said, the movies are very well-made, and this looks like a worthy addition. And I’m looking forward to Steve Zahn play an ape.
Chris: Woody has a knack for playing a great bad guy.  He really makes you dislike him so well.  The last two entries in this franchise were very good and I have no reason to think this one won’t be some popcorn crunching fine entertainment!

Wish Upon (Orion Pictures) – Horror
Rated PG-13 for violent and disturbing images, thematic elements and language
Tag Line: Be careful what you wish for.
Starring: Joey King, Ryan Phillipe
Plot: A teenage girl discovers a box that carries magic powers and a deadly price for using them.
Running Time: 90 minutes

Chris: I was expecting to see a trailer I’ve seen a million times before, advertising a decidedly C-grade horror film, but was actually surprised to find myself enjoying the pacing and feel.  This one has potential to be a little horrific gem.
Jim: The premise manages to overcome the bewhiskered predictability of yet another horror movie trailer. A good rental.

Lady Macbeth (Roadside Attractions) – Drama
Rated R for some disturbing violence, strong sexuality/nudity, and language
Tag Line: None
Starring: Florence Pugh, Cosmo Jarvis, Paul Hilton
Plot: Set in 19th century rural England, young bride who has been sold into marriage to a middle-aged man discovers an unstoppable desire within herself as she enters into an affair with a worker on her estate.
Running Time: 89 minutes

Jim: A great trailer that makes this movie look very absorbing. And all hail movies made for grownups!
Chris:  Is this Lady Chatterley of Lady Macbeth?

Blind (Vertical Entertainment) – Drama/Romance
Rated R for language including some sexual references, and brief drug use
Tag Line: Love….unexpected.
Starring: Demi Moore, Alec Baldwin
Plot: A novelist blinded in a car crash which killed his wife rediscovers his passion for both life and writing when he embarks on an affair with the neglected wife of an indicted businessman.
Running Time: 98 minutes

Chris: This movie has Lifetime Channel written all over it.
Jim: Alec Baldwin is very talented and very funny. Whenever I see him in a drama these days though, he just comes off as…too creepy. Demi Moore is a beautiful woman but has never impressed me as an actress (except for the occasional flick like “Disclosure”). Pass.

Tickets Purchased:  One for Lady Macbeth (Jim) and one for War of the Planet of the Apes (Chris)

warofplanetofapes

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Trailer Snark (March 24, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Power Rangers (Lionsgate) – Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi
Rated PG-13 for sequences of sci-fi violence, action and destruction, language, and for some crude humor
Tag Line:  Back to action!
Starring: Dacre Montgomery, Naomi Scott, Bill Hader
Plot: A group of high-school kids, who are infused with unique superpowers, harness their abilities in order to save the world.
Running Time: 124 minutes

Chris: I missed the boat on Power Rangers as a child (a little after my time) and I really have no interest in this re-imagining.
Jessica: I am of two minds of this, one it looks just ridiculous and two, it looks like it might actually be okay. I never watched the show and really am not what I would consider a fan so I don’t really care either way. But I do enjoy a GOOD action, superhero film, so maybe this will be that. Maybe…
Jim: I used to watch the show with my daughter and could feel my brains leaking out of my ears.

Life (Columbia) – Horror/Sci-Fi/Thriller
Rated R for language throughout, some sci-fi violence and terror
Tag Line:  Be careful what you search for.
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, Ryan Reynolds
Plot: A team of scientists aboard the International Space Station discover a rapidly evolving life form, that caused extinction on Mars, and now threatens the crew and all life on Earth.
Running Time: 103 minutes

Jim: Seriously? Why don’t they just call it Alien 20? Are there ANY new ideas anymore?
Chris: I have been jonesing to see this movie since I started seeing trailers last year.  The second trailer (featured here) gives you a bit more than the first, but it all look deliciously intense.
Jessica: Oh my goodness, Ryan and Jake in one movie? About alien life? SIGN ME UP.

CHiPS (Warner Bros) – Action/Comedy
Rated R for crude sexual content, graphic nudity, pervasive language, some violence and drug use.
Tag Line: Chip happens.
Starring: Michael Pena, Dax Shepard
Plot: A rookie officer is teamed with a hardened pro at the California Highway Patrol, though the newbie soon learns his partner is really an undercover Fed investigating a heist that may involved some crooked cops.
Running Time: 100 minutes

Jessica: <Sigh>. I mean, maybe…No, <sigh>.
Jim: Dumb fun for the most part, rental.
Chris: I can see why Erik Estrada is super upset about this one since they really jazzed up the pervertedness and went total comedy.  I grew up with Ponch and John, and it was considered action drama fare.  I guess he feels disrespected.  I’ll catch it on the small screen.

Wilson (Fox Searchlight) – Comedy
Rated R for language throughout and some sexuality
Tag Line: Positively negative
Starring:  Woody Harrelson, Sandy Oian, Shaun Brown
Plot: A lonely, neurotic and hilariously honest middle-aged man reunites with his estranged wife and meets his teenage daughter for the first time.
Running Time: 94 minutes

Chris: Woody Harrelson plays so many types of roles.  This one is about as off-beat as some of his most left of center.  Check it!
Jessica: AHHHHH I LOVE WOODY HARRLESON, he’s the reason I saw any of the Hunger Games movies, and this looks fun and weird and everything I love about him.
Jim: This looks like a blast, Woody and a great cast (love Laura Dern!).

Prevenge (Shudder) – Comedy/Drama/Fantasy
Not Rated
Tag Line:  None
Starring:  Jo Hartley, Gemma Whelan, Alice Lowe
Plot: Widow Ruth is seven months pregnant when, believing herself to be guided by her unborn baby, she embarks on a homicidal rampage, dispatching anyone who stands in her way.
Running Time: 88 minutes

Jim: Delightfully sick and twisted-looking with a premise worthy of Stephen King.
Chris: Pickles, ice cream, and sharp knives.  Cut straight to the C Section.  No thanks.
Jessica: Oh this just looks like a good time. I was laughing at the trailer. Sick, twisted, right up my alley.

The Levelling (Monterey Media) – Drama
Rated R for language and brief nudity
Tag Line:  None
Starring: Ellie Kendrick, David Troughton
Plot: After he brother dies, Clover returns to her family farm in Someset, where she discovers her estranged father is a shell of his former self and the farm is in shambles due to floods that destroyed the area six months earlier.
Running Time: 83 minutes

Jessica: This looks really intense, so I’ll pass. I have enough intensity with school and work thank you, but seriously, this looks like an interesting, well-done and very sad film that I’d watch at home when I needed a good cry.
Jim: Got the TV movie blahs about halfway through.
Chris: A whole lot of high emotion drama in this trailer, but a whole lot of I could care less in my mind.

Slamma Jamma (RiverRain Productions) – Drama/Sports
Rated PG for thematic elements, some violence and language
Tag Line:  Sometimes redemption is found above the rim.
Starring: Chris Staples, Michael Irvin, Jose Canseco
Plot: Wrongfully accused and sent to prison, a former basketball star prepares for the national slam dunk competition while finding redemption in himself and in those he loves.
Running Time: 104 minutes
Chris: Looks like an inspirational sports film….made for TV. I’ll pass on that ball.
Jessica: I got dumber typing that title and I didn’t make it through the trailer, I just got annoyed and turned it off so clearly it’s going to be my pick of the week.  😉
Jim: Yeah, not a fan of this title either. Nice trailer, but still  feel I’ve seen it all before.

Tickets Purchased: Two for Life (Jessica and Chris) and One for Wilson (Jim)

Life

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Trailer Snark (June 10, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week:  The Turtles ruled the box office with $35.2M, dropping X-Men: Apocalypse to second place with $22.3M to add to their $116M total.  In third was the debut of Me Before You with $18.2M.  Fourth place belonged to Johnny Depp and Alice Through the Looking Glass ($10.6M/$50.7M).  Angry Birds stayed in the top five with $9.7M and $86.6M overall.  The rest of the top ten shook out this way.  Captain America: Civil War ($7.5M/$388.5M), Neighbors 2 ($4.7M/$48.5M), Popstar ($4.6M/New), Jungle Book ($4.2M/$347.4M), and The Nice Guys ($3.5M/$29.1M).  Here are this week’s new entries.

The Conjuring 2 (New Line Cinema) – Horror
Rated R for terror and horror violence
Tag Line: The next true story from the case files of Ed and Lorraine Warren.
Starring:  Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga
Plot: Lorraine and Ed Warren travel to north London to help a single mother raising four children alone in a house plagued by malicious spirits.
Running Time: 134 minutes

Jessica: The first movie actually scared me (which hardly ever happens) so I am interested to see what they come up with for the 2nd one. Hopefully it’s just as creepy!
Chris: The first was a horrific triumph…..I am quite looking forward to some more scares.
Ken: Hadn’t seen the first Conjuring or Annabelle movies and would skip this latest installment. I appreciate that they are based on real-life cases investigated by the Warrens, but they stray pretty far from the source material in order to draw in the crowds.
Jim: The first movie was scary. Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga helped make it credible. This looks effective enough to step past the usual horror movie trailer cliches.

Now You See Me 2 (Lionsgate) – Action/Comedy/Thriller
Rated PG-13 for violence and some language
Tag Line: Reappearing June 10
Starring: Woody Harrelson, Mark Ruffalo, Jesse Eisenberg, Lizzy Caplan
Plot: The Four Horsemen resurface and are forcibly recruited by a tech genius to pull off their most impossible heist yet.
Running Time: 129 minutes

Jim: Didn’t see the first one. Might be worth a rental.
Jessica: I really liked the first movie so I will most certainly be checking out the sequel. I love a movie about magic tricks!
Chris: Rarely do I laud a second sequel film in one week, but here goes.  Make my money disappear.
Ken: No I don’t.  Magic loses its charm when I’m aware that it is all special effects.

Warcraft (Universal) – Action/Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG – 13 for extended sequences of intense fantasy violence
Tag Line: Two worlds. One home.
Starring: Paula Patton, Travis Fimmel, Domenic Cooper, Ben Foster
Plot: The peaceful realm of Azeroth stands on the brink of war as its civilization faces a fearsome race of invaders: orc warriors fleeing their dying home to colonize another. As a portal opens to connect the two worlds, one army faces destruction and the other faces extinction. From opposing sides, two heroes are set on a collision course that will decide the fate of their family, their people, and their home.
Running Time: 123 minutes

Chris: Truth be told, I want to like this one more than I do.  I think it will be entertaining, but in no way will it provide the same satisfaction as the similarly themed Tolkien movies.
Jim: ZZZZZZ SO SICK OF CGI-STUFFED “EPIC” FANTASIES ZZZZZZZZ

Ken: The music at the end of that trailer was awful. I wanted to like this one too, but pass. Anyone who has ever played a Blizzard video game knows how epic their cut scenes are. But despite the eye-popping blend of CG and live action, everything else felt pretty lifeless. 
Jessica: Pass, pass, pass…Looks like a poor person’s “Lord of the Rings”

King Jack (Well Go USA) – Adventure/Drama
Not Rated
Tag Line:  Everyone should rule for a day.
Starring:  Charlie Plummer, Cory Nicholls
Plot: Trapped in a violent feud with a cruel older bully and facing another bout of summer school, Jack’s got all the problems he can handle. So when Jack’s aunt falls ill and his runty younger cousin must stay with him for the weekend the last thing Jack wants to do is look after him. Unfortunately no one really cares what Jack wants.
Running Time: 81 minutes

Ken: I grew up in a small, suburban town and this pushed a lot of my nostalgia buttons.
Jessica: Looks sweet and thought provoking, and very, very sad. I’d watch this at home where I can weep in the dark, alone.
Jim: Nice trailer, looks like it might be a well-made slice ‘o life flick.

Chris: Coming of age film of a boy who is learning what it means to live for more than himself.  Lessons all of us go through in our formative years.  I’ll check it out on the small screen.

Tickets Purchased: 4 tickets for The Conjuring 2 (unanimous decision!).

The Trailer Snark team is going for scares this week!
The Trailer Snark team is going for scares this week!
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Trailer Snark (February 26 2016) Theatrical Trailers

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Ryan Reynolds and Fox are celebrating their second straight week at number one as Deadpool captured another $55M at the Box Office and has now earned $235.3M domestic.  Kung Fu Panda 3 continued to get the kiddies to the cinema with $12.5M to add to its $117.1M total.  The highest debut of the week came from Risen with $11.8M.  Period horror piece, The Witch, debuted at number four with $8.6M.  How to Be Single fell to number five ($8.2M/$31.7M).  The only other debut in the top ten was Race at number six with $7.2M.  The rest of the list went as follows:  Zoolander 2 ($5.5M/$23.7M), Star Wars: The Force Awakens ($3.8M/$921.6M), The Revenant ($3.8M/$165.1M), and Hail, Caesar ($2.6M/$26.1M).  Its a short list of releases this week, but lets get down to it.

Gods of Egypt (Lionsgate) – Action/Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for fantasy violence and action, and some sexuality
Tag Line: The journey of a lifetime begins.
Starring:  Gerard Butler, Brenton Thwaits
Plot: Mortal hero Bek teams with the god Horus in an alliance against Set, the merciless god of darkness who has usurped Egypt’s throne, plunging the once peaceful and prosperous empire into chaos and conflict.
Running Time: 127 minutes

Rob: High on visual effects and eye candy.  Worried about lack of story.  Renter.
Ken: Gods awful.
Jim: Yawn.
Chris:  I’d rather sit on the top of a pyramid.

Eddie the Eagle (20th Century Fox) – Biography/Sports/Drama
Rated PG-13 for some suggestive material, partial nudity and smoking
Tag Line: Landing in cinemas April 1
Starring: Taron Egerton, Hugh Jackman, Tom Costello, Jr.
Plot: The story of Eddie Edwards, the notoriously tenacious British underdog ski jumper who charmed the world at the 1988 Winter Olympics.
Running Time: 105 minutes

Chris:  A very charming trailer, and certainly a contender…pun very much intended.
Rob: The story of an unlikely Olympian.  I’d watch it for fun and more for my love of an underdog, but not on the big screen.
Ken: What sports fan doesn’t love a good underdog story? And it looks funny to boot.
Jim: Looks like a great, humorous story with the always entertaining Hugh Jackman.

Triple 9 (Open Road Films) – Crime/Thriller
Rated R for strong violence and language throughout, drug use and some nudity
Tag Line: The code on the street is never black and white.
Starring:  Casey Affleck, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Woody Harrelson
Plot: A gang of criminals and corrupt cops plan the murder of a police officer in order to pull off their biggest heist yet across town.
Running Time: 115 minutes

Jim: Yawn II
Chris: I love a good cop thriller movie.  And this one appears to be a promising one.
Rob: A decent looking cops & robbers thriller.  Decent doesn’t get me to the big screen though…
Ken: Love me a good heist movie. Pretty loaded cast too.

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny (The Weinstein Company)
Rated PG-13 for martial arts violence and brief partial nudity
Tag Line: The past returns with a vengeance.
Starring: Donnie Yen, Michelle Yeoh, Jason Scott Lee
Plot: A story of lost love, young love, a legendary sword and one last opportunity at redemption.
Running Time: 96 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5ixd2ZRRpE
Rob: Limited IMAX release, but nothing near us.  Bummer!  But it’s a Netflix original so I can watch from the comfort of my own home.  Score!  Few films have been as visually stunning  as Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.  Ang Lee delivered a masterpiece in 2001, but can Woo-ping Yuen do the same today?  Michelle Yeoh is reprising her role, so we can expect more amazing martial arts and solid acting on that front.  The trailer definitely has me excited to see if they can deliver once more.
Ken: Yup, what Rob said. I’m surprised that a sequel hadn’t been made before. Getting Netflix was the best decision I’ve ever made.
Jim: The first was one of Ang Lee’s amazing films. Based on the trailer, this looks like it keeps the bar high. Always worth watching Michelle Yeoh, count me in.
Chris:  Time to get all Martial Artsy!

Tickets Purchased:  3 for Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (Jim, Ken, and Rob)…of course, you won’t be paying for any tickets watching it at home on your Netflix! Damn Kids!  1 for Triple 9 (Chris).

Oh, you said Martial....not Marital!
Oh, you said Martial….not Marital!